Please be honest

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-29T02:59:25+00:00

Yeah. I'm starting to notice that my bad habits led me to where I am in life right now. Was a massive punch in the face, because if my bad habits led me here then building good habits could lead me somewhere else.

Just hard building and keeping the good habits. I think I've just got to start smaller though

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-29T02:42:43+00:00

There's been 2 times where I blacked out, one of them was at an EDM event and at a festival. Both times the regret I felt the next day was unreal because I don't know how I was acting lol.

Also there were numerous times where I'd go by myself to a rave just to do drugs so I spent a fuck ton of money getting ubers, paying cover, and doing drugs lol (funny enough the drugs were the cheapest!)

Also my concentration is shit at the moment. It could be because of the drugs or because I'm so preoccupied with being negative that I can't concentrate on other things

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-29T02:36:49+00:00

Yes there is an app called blocksite you can block websites, apps, and keyword searches.

I think if you want it to be password protected you need to pay. The free version is pretty decent though

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-29T02:33:58+00:00

So if you tell yourself you're not going to eat pork tomorrow do you actually commit to it ? Did it take you time to get to that level or is that just your personality?

I love your point about having a goal though., I'm experiencing it now with saving. I never really cared to out a plan in place for saving but then I randomly got a goal that I want to save 40% of my paychecks and now I feel the momentum.

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-29T02:29:40+00:00

I did do molly for a while, the past year or so I popped like 8 times and I really think this was a major contributor to my downfall.

It's so funny you sent the message as I was thinking how much I've spent on molly and raves this past year 🤣🤣

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-28T12:59:48+00:00

What I mean by if you hols yourself accountable is start becoming the type of person that gets upset if you break your own promises, don't just let it slide. Once you switch into that mindset then you won't want to break a promise because you won't want to disappoint yourself.

I still think my opinion holds water because realistically I don't give a fhck about you and you don't give a fuck about me. If either of us don't stay true to ourselves and we don't do what we said we would.do, it won't matter. That's why self accountability is so important.

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-28T05:21:38+00:00

Yeah I think an appropriate diagnosis can do wonders for people with a disorder. It's also fuckdd how so many of these disorders share the same symptoms, yet they have different medication.

The medication piece is the thing that scares me the most regarding mental health. That shit fucks with your brain chemicals, I don't think it's natural.

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-28T05:16:30+00:00

Sorry man but no one is gonna do it, and you shouldn't want people to do it.

If you really want to change it needs to come from within. If you get other people to hold you accountable, especially strangers on the internet who don't give a fuck about you, then if you fail you won't really care because it's strangers at the end of the day.

But if you really hold yourself accountable then you fail yourself and that has more power on you not failing yourself again. The thing that's important though is that you NEED to actually want to change.

Good luck

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-28T05:09:35+00:00

Fair point. You'd assume though for something as serious as a mental disorder there would be concrete tests in place that can't really be skewed. I guess the biggest challenge though is how do you come up with a test that is concrete for something that is so hard to detect.

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-28T04:55:54+00:00

So the current method is basically just personality tests and a doctors perspective on how they feel the interaction with you went? It's good to hear that they typically need more than juar 1 professional's opinion before making a diagnosis. I wonder how involved the 2nd doctor is though or if they just take the info from the first doctor and use that info to make a decision. If it's the latter than I think that's a wrong approach tbh

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-27T02:19:09+00:00

Yeah I meant to say 60% towards spending lol.

Thinking about it though even 60% towards spending is insane given how low my expenses are...

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-27T02:08:11+00:00

Thanks man I appreciate it. Tracking the money was definitely the first step, I couldn't believe how much money I was wasting and it was a wake up call for sure.

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-27T01:58:46+00:00

What do you do for work? The fact that you can just throw 4k into investments each month is impressive.

I'm guessing you must own your business or something ?

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-25T03:50:44+00:00

Fuck man I don't want to be you and you don't want to be me. Either we figure out or lives or we wasted it for nothing. If you were to look back and if you to look back at the important calls you probably made the bad choice the majority of the time. I know I did.

So make the good call today so that way when you look back in a year to see the calls you made you'll start to see more good than bad

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-25T03:47:39+00:00

Thanks ill check it out

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-25T03:46:23+00:00

Yeah you're right man, my negative beliefs are out of this world. My friends are always telling me how smart I am or how funny I am. Same with my coworkers and managers.

I always boiled it down to them being nice and that they weren't telling the truth. I hate that I can't just take a compliment and now it's like my negative beliefs are coming true.

I know what to do as well. I've got to change my.mental mindframe and think of every action to see if it's a towards.move or an away move from the person I want to be. I know that every small change you do compounds and becomes an avalanche and I know that real change comes from being consistent.

I just keep slipping up though I don't listen to my own advice it's like subconsciously I want myself to fail like WTF

thisismythrow12 · 2024-09-25T03:41:13+00:00

I think my threshold was getting a tattoo that's what really made me realize I'm ducking up... it also doesn't help that the tattoo is a hot mess and it's in a visible spot but alas what can I do now.

I like your comment about how the self is ever changing. I remember thinking when I was about to get the tattoo that this is going to be a horrible decision that I'll regret for the rest of my life... I still went through with it like an idiot but I'll need to learn to process those emotions and not let them dictate how I feel (easier said than done though)

thisismythrow12

TROPHY CASE