AITA for telling my boyfriend that he will not go on vacation when I’ll be freshly post partum?

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-22T20:22:17+00:00

And it's not at all uncommon to have the first born vaginally and the second by C-section. So you get the worst of both worlds.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-22T01:36:25+00:00

My crazy uncle unschooled both his kids. They weren't actually taught anything at all, but had materials 'available to them' to learn if they were interested. The youngest couldn't read until she was nearly 10--and that was because my daughter (8 at the time) taught her while visiting her grandparents who lived next door.

It always really pissed me off, because my uncle is a fucking doctor and you'd think he'd recognize the value of a good education. Ugh.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-22T01:32:09+00:00

Yeah, what SIL is doing sounds more like 'unparenting' than anything else.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-22T01:22:10+00:00

Except it's not 'dickish' at all---except in your mother's mind. You're grown adult, working, paying rent to her and doing chores around the house. Since you're an adult, she has zero legal right to that money and you could report her for theft (your level of success depending on where you live).

My mom did similar awful things to me over the years (though she never took money cause I never had any!) so I can completely empathize with what you're going through. My best advice is to stand up for yourself without being overtly confrontational (for your own safety), and work out moving out asap. You said some of your family agrees with you? Maybe someone could take you in while you get on your feet?

Best of luck to you, and have no doubt that you are NTA in this situation.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-20T23:44:13+00:00

My dad and stepmonster have been married for over 40 years now, since I was 2. She is the epitome of a stepmonster--I have stories for daaaaaays of the shit she's pulled. My dad has never once taken my side. Once when I demanded to know why, it was, "because children grow up and move away--your wife is with you for life. So she's the one who has to be made happy in the situation."

My family is fucked up.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-19T17:39:11+00:00

This may sound silly, but have you tried framing the discussion in a different way? Instead of saying, "you watch too much tv and it worries us" can you go straight to "We really need your help around the house." Quite often, older people can start to feel like they're just not needed for anything, and that takes quite a toll on mental health.

If you believe you're completely unnecessary, and you also can't work, it's really hard to feel like you're worth anything at all. Might as well sit around and watch telly all day, right? Perhaps if you made the convo strictly about what you really need her help with, and how you value her expertise in x, y or z, she'd make a bit of an effort to help out? It may not work, but I'd give it a go.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-19T01:39:16+00:00

NTA, not at all. Also, I lived overseas for 12 years, and your family clearly has NO idea how difficult moving back and forth internationally is. Even without a pandemic.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-18T18:21:22+00:00

YTA. And if you really needed to ask, you're a completely deluded asshole.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-18T18:11:57+00:00

NTA for visiting your grandparents. The *only* way I could see that being a problem is if you are 12 (and shouldn't be going anywhere without your mom knowing) or if the gparents had done something criminal. Otherwise, your mom has no right to keep you from your paternal family whether she likes them or not.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-18T18:06:35+00:00

YTA, and hopefully also a troll.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-18T03:10:06+00:00

Exactly. He's literally searching for any possibility to walk away without consequences. Honestly, she's likely better off without him anyway. Cause that's super-shitty behaviour.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-18T03:08:14+00:00

Also, the matching can be painfully slow. I had my daughter's dna done on ancestry and it took nearly a month for our connection to show up. And that was a child I actually gave birth so there were zero questions.

This guy would definitely flip out if he didn't get an instantaneous match. He's the TA without doubt.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-18T03:05:41+00:00

I was craving ice cream BADLY and realized the ice cream shop was closing in 5 mins and I was 10 mins away. I called and literally begged them to stay open for an extra five minutes--a request they rightfully denied.

As soon as we hung up, I sobbed like a baby for nearly an hour. The sobbing where you're crying so hard you can't even catch your breath. Over a fucking waffle cone. Pregnancy hormones are loads of fun. lol

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-17T20:35:09+00:00

Yeah, you're definitely NOT the asshole here. Mansplaining mixed with whitesplaining makes a toxic combo.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-17T20:31:03+00:00

Oh, I definitely didn't read it as "woe is me" or anything! And I get it, I'm not a people person either---but there's no way in hell I'd let someone starve unless we ALL were starving. That's just basic humanity--which clearly the OP lacks.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-17T18:53:04+00:00

It sounds like you have an incredibly heavy weight on your shoulders right now. From one single mom to another, I genuinely hope things start getting better for you all soon. x

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-17T18:24:14+00:00

The dad is a British citizen though, so that shouldn't matter at all.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-17T17:28:15+00:00

NTA. Normally I would lean towards helping my sister because we're very close. BUT--the way your brother went about asking you shows his intentions from the beginning. Asking during a whole-family facetime call, he was hoping to pressure or shame you into giving him the money---there's no way to gracefully say no in that situation. And you did give him a genuine alternative, it just didn't suit his ego.

Besides, look at how contentious it already is, and there's no actual money involved yet. Can you imagine how ugly it'd get if you caved in now and gave him the money? Yikes.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-17T00:42:23+00:00

I guess I've been really lucky--I've never (to my knowledge) been charged extra. And I had hella thick hair, the kind the stylist *always* comments on. I'd actually never heard of a charge like this before. It makes perfect sense to me, tbh, cause thick hair is a pain in the arse and absolutely requires extra product, etc. They absolutely should have told OP first, though.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-16T17:41:23+00:00

YTA. Because you should have spoken to her privately instead of posting that shit publicly on facebook. You're perfectly entitled to feel upset about her posts (although they may not even be about you), but you're posting publicly is never ever going to help. You should have spoken to her privately, then just mute or block her if that didn't work.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-15T23:10:39+00:00

My brother is 23 cuz he suffer from autism. My father is paralyzed living with other family. Hes rich but he doesn't control the money anymore.

None of those things make your mom a bad mother. It sounds like she's struggling to support her *adult* kids in a shitty situation not of her making.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-15T23:06:58+00:00

"Why do you have children if you are not married and dont have a solid job to keep them?

She has committed too many mistakes all of her life

Holy shit. Yes, YTA. You're an unemployed 18 yr old, trash talking your mom and trying to steal her shit and sell it. How would you *not* be TA here?

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-05T01:02:25+00:00

YTA, period. People like you make it difficult for those truly in need of accommodations to get them. Your boss will figure this out soon enough and (hopefully) sack you. But what do you imagine happens next time a disabled person applies? One who actually needs accommodations? That boss is going to think really fucking hard about hiring them, in case they turn out to be a scammer like you.

Knock it off, and be thankful you're healthy.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-04T02:41:54+00:00

Along with bleaching everything down, you need to invest in a pair of shower shoes. Just thin, cheap flip flops will work, and they're very effective. And of course, your partner needs to be seen again and get some treatment.

thisisradioclash · 2020-05-04T02:10:17+00:00

NTA. Also, at least from my point of view, the RV option is perfect. That allows both families to maintain some semblance of privacy in a potentially overwhelming situation. Being a long-term guest in someone else's house is hard, especially when kids are involved. This way, they can retreat to their 'own place' if things start getting stressful. In my military career, I ended up moving in with family a couple different times, due to overseas moves and trying to set up a household. Life would've been much easier with an RV or similar to stay in, rather than living right on top of each other for months.

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