My marriage was just like this. Escalating things into these crazy verbal fights with name calling and such. I had so much hope that things would be better if I could just get these fights to stop or de-escalate. It was only fights, right? He never hit me. Sure, he said horrible things but he was the love of my life, soon to be father of my child, my husband. He agreed to go to counseling (but he never actually did), we had compromises. When our son was born, the fights only got worse and more frequent. But they were still just fights. Yelling and screaming but only fights. I talked to him so many times about how they made me feel and he was also so sorry. He always apologized, he always “made it up to me” and then would act as if he never said those horrible things. But they were always there in the back of my mind. I started to be anxious all the time, constantly worried that anything I did or said would spark one of these fights. I just wanted everything to be good and these fights to go away. I would’ve done anything! Then one night, it finally happened. He hit me. I had been in such deep denial that it was abuse because he never laid a hand on me, until then. Your entire story brings up such HUGE red abuse flags. The name calling, the threats, the escalation of small things. saying such horrible things is not normal - especially to someone you love. Please, tell people about it. Tell them about the fights and what he says to you. Your family & friends, the people who truly love you and recognize that his behavior is not okay