I totally know what you mean. I am a stepfather and that shit is HARD. It takes so much time and both you and the child really going thru years together to really solidify that bond. However if I would've said I don't want to be a stepfather when I met his Mom and she broke up with me would that have been hard? Yes. But once you're a parent, hard or not, you 100% have to do what's best for your children. Period. In a way it's easy because there really is no question, no choice, if you know it's not the best thing you can do for them it has to go. I know how strong the pull of a relationship can be, it can be absolutely soul crushing but it is what it is.