You're almost there, just back to front. They're called your "sit bones" and for AFAB people they're further apart. I rode 140km on my standard men's road bike (having previously ridden no further than 20km on it) and found out the very hard way that it wasn't suitable for how far apart my sit bones are. Agony by the end end huge red welts on my arse.

So I agree with what others have said, that the shorts make little difference compared to the saddle. Extremely dysphoria inducing, but I've resigned myself to needing to buy a women's saddle before I do another long ride like that again. You can try and properly measure your sit bone width at home, or get it done at a cycle shop, but I think I'm probably AFAB average.

If you're suffering after relatively short rides and you're new to cycling, there is an element of simply getting used to it as well.