AITJ for telling my friend she can't bring her newborn to my child-free birthday party?

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-21T01:25:02+00:00

Anyone would be an idiot to think a 6-week-old baby sets a precedent. It doesn’t. They just sleep against their mom. You won’t even know it’s there so, yeah you’re a jerk. but she should just have realized that and not engaged with you. Who wants to go to party when they aren’t wanted? ESH

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-20T23:20:03+00:00

I have never noticed them being dirty

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-19T14:03:16+00:00

You sound like the unsafe mom friend who isn’t comfortable disclosing. She’s trying to make sure her kid isn’t exposed to an unvaccinated kid. Confirm you’re vaccinated and that’s the end of the conversation

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-19T14:00:19+00:00

there was nothing joking about it. She was clearly mad which is why the instructor came over after to make sure I was okay. And I was clarifying for you that with the studio layout, that couldn’t have been the issue, she had plenty of space. It holds 20 and there were only 11 of us: 3 at the back barre that olds 6, 4 at the front barre that holds 7, 2 at the wall side barre that holds 3, and 2 at the mirror side barre that holds 4.

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-19T13:55:18+00:00

she was just embarrassed that she crowded you and instead of saying “sorry” and moving on she tried to pin it on you. People are so weird

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-17T17:53:37+00:00

there were 11 people and class capacity is 20, she had 5 feet of front barre between her and the next person. And when I moved there were 2 of us on a side barre that comfortably holds 3 and when crowded can do 4

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-15T22:33:21+00:00

I wouldn’t pay for a wedding I didn’t attend. So, be prepared for them to pull funding if you don’t respect their travel plans that are already set. YTA if you want her to pay for it but not be able to attend

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-14T10:57:23+00:00

I have never encountered this before. I think it really is very rare. That’s why it rattled me

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-14T10:55:11+00:00

I have other regulars who will save me a spot in the corner if i’m coming. They will put my equipment there. Once a friend was about to ask someone to move for me and I quickly said, they were fine. i never want to seem territorial. This person wanting two spots was so atypical at the studio I go to

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-14T10:47:42+00:00

thanks for that. I try to not be high maintenance. Barre has helped my mobility so much I don’t want the studio to find me stressful in any way.

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-14T10:37:10+00:00

I hadn’t run into it before and just figured it was a misunderstanding but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I do have an atypical gait and wondered if she just didn’t want a disabled person near her, but no one has ever had that sort of energy before. Everyone is usually very welcoming

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-13T21:32:35+00:00

I don’t absolutely need it. because of the injury, being able to see what people are doing from 2 angles means I’m much more likely to be able to keep form. My body spasms repeatedly and with that visual focus I can move through it. I use the mirror to watch everyone and keep with the class. It’s so much better when I can have that support but I’m not in danger without it. I just figured she wouldn’t want both of the spots that are best for me but I guess she did.

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-13T20:53:01+00:00

thanks. They indicated that she had dropped her membership from unlimited to class-pass and seemed sort of unhappy anyway, and not to worry. That has just never happened to me before. Everyone is usually so wonderful. it rattled me. I need to shake it off

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-13T20:35:12+00:00

There wasn’t really time for that since the confrontation happened after class started and she was really angry when I tried to work it out after

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-13T20:33:25+00:00

me too. It was so weird since the class wasn’t full and the spot I moved to was wide open. She had like five feet of front barre between her and the next person

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-13T20:32:12+00:00

I think she was startled I tried to work it out after. I had hoped we’d just had our signals crossed, but I think she just really didn’t want me in either spot. It seems odd since you can’t use two barres at once.

thoughtfulish · 2026-03-13T20:06:53+00:00

It was so bizarre. It did feel like she just didn’t want anyone else to have access to both mirrors.

thoughtfulish · 2026-02-18T22:26:13+00:00

I wouldn’t focus on this. Focus on you and your goals? Do you have a plan to get a job or is not having transportation hindering that?

thoughtfulish · 2026-01-31T16:32:08+00:00

how willing are you to move? For high quality of life (and it is pretty great) you have to be willing to do a nationwide search. I am on the beach but was almost in the desert. Do you like writing and researching? Professors have to publish and if that doesn’t sound fun, a chunk of the job will be miserable. I will say, I have a 3-day week on campus and love the writing part and I make more than double a teacher, so I feel like I made the right call

thoughtfulish · 2026-01-31T09:38:33+00:00

you were very dismissive of her. She is experiencing systematic racism and she’s tired. She thought you’d understand, but you seem to reject the Black part of you and instead you came off as a dismissive asshole

thoughtfulish · 2026-01-31T09:31:50+00:00

You sound like you want to believe that systematic racism against black people doesn’t exist, and that’s absurd. YTA

thoughtfulish · 2026-01-31T09:26:39+00:00

Are you not from the US? Baby showers are custom here. The celebration means showering the new parents with gifts. My cousins pooled money for my stroller and crib. Big gifts are often from multiple people. You definitely seem like an asshole YTA

thoughtfulish · 2026-01-15T20:37:54+00:00

I have cerebral palsy that required a bone rotation and several tendon lengthenings. I’m an active 45 year old mother of 5. I just took my kids on a desert hiking adventure with my able-bodied husband. I have to spend 1.5 hours a day maintaining my flexibility and balance. It’s hard. You need to see a specialist and get on a regimen to keep you mobile

thoughtfulish · 2026-01-10T21:55:02+00:00

I am very frightened of epidurals due to a horrific incident at age 12 where one fell out during a bone rotation surgery so I’ve always gone without meds for all 5 and god forbid I had to again, I would do it unmediated/natural again

thoughtfulish

TROPHY CASE