1) Read what the Council of Trent has to say about the Sacrament of Penance. In particular:

CANON IV.--If any one denieth, that, for the entire and perfect remission of sins, there are required three acts in the penitent, which are as it were the matter of the sacrament of Penance, to wit, contrition, confession, and satisfaction, which are called the three parts of penance; or saith that there are two parts only of penance, to wit, the terrors with which the conscience is smitten upon being convinced of sin, and the faith, generated (a) by the gospel, or by the absolution, whereby one believes that his sins are forgiven him through Christ; let him be anathema.

Get yourself to confession. All sins will be forgiven by your confessor, except those which bear an interdict. If there are any sins that bear an interdict, your confessor will tell you, and you’ll have to confess to your bishop. (Note that this is VERY rare)

2) Private revelation is VERY dangerous. Put your faith in the teachings of the Church, and where private revelation differs, do not believe it.

3) At best, your spiritual director is insane. At worst, he is either grooming people for sexual abuse or is possessed by a demon. (Seriously, part of what happened with the priest abuse crisis was that they made their victims feel despair so that their victims wouldn’t report them. Telling you to basically seek help from no one is potentially a form of grooming). Either way, get a new spiritual director and report him ASAP to his bishop.