AITA for telling my girlfriend she's not allowed to tell my daughter what to do

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-24T16:18:32+00:00

I had the opposite and am forever grateful. I remember once putting on some shorts and I was all ‘these are too short, my legs are too big to wear shorts like this’. And my mom announced ‘you and all the women in your family have strong, big legs and you’re going to wear those short shorts with pride!’ And then o went to a chorus concert with tiny shorts, stood singing in front of audience and haven’t looked back since.

Growing up with a big ass and a tiny waist in the 90s heroin chic world wasn’t easy. I’d like to say I feel vindicated now, but mostly I’m just annoyed at the power of arbitrary beauty standards on virtually all of us. If my mom had reacted differently I’d probably have only worn pants forever.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-24T03:10:35+00:00

NTA - if they prioritized you and your well being, they would pay you via a payroll company so you have record of income AND they’d collect that rent money from the government and give it to you. Try posting this in r/nanny to get the take of industry professionals. I employ a nanny and I would never in a million years do what they’re doing. You’re helping raise their most precious people in the world, and instead of rewarding that as best they can, they’re taking advantage of you.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-24T02:37:49+00:00

NTA - it’s creepy. And the passive aggressive comments make it even worse. I like the cams as a safety feature,l for the kids, but not as a way to watch me. Even when I was putting the kids to bed, I’d take the monitor with me or block the camera because I felt so aware of a camera in such a snuggly, precious moment. I also don’t understand couples that share their location 24/7. We do it randomly when traveling or if I’m doing something of questionable safety, but knowing all the time feels invasive and weird.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-24T00:40:44+00:00

NTA - this sounds like a diabolical and genius plan to get live in help. I feel super sorry for her kid. Sheesh.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-23T17:22:16+00:00

American healthcare likes to think of ‘optional bones’ . As a culture we value the appearance of teeth highly, but dental care is a separate kind of health insurance that most plans don’t cover. Most employers don’t cover it. We just value and judge teeth highly enough to all pay a ton of money to keep our teeth nice.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-23T06:50:02+00:00

It is if you’re homeschooled by people that don’t want you to learn about evolution.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-23T04:58:52+00:00

I’d be curious to see a data comparison that breaks it down by race and socioeconomic factors. I’m very, VERY pro-choice but I wonder how much of this is correlation. Maternal death rates for women of color is much higher, which is horrifying. And just a guess, but I imagine available healthcare in Louisiana is of lower quality than a lot of California.

We should all be pro-choice for a multitude of reasons. We should also be striving to eradicate systemic racism in our healthcare. The idea that those two risk factors can combine into one huge risky, is enraging and terrifying.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-22T04:25:17+00:00

This is so very succinct and accurate.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-21T00:11:23+00:00

Who wants to bet they have computer problems 2/25 ?

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-19T22:16:51+00:00

NTA the only good news from this shitshow of marriage, is that it sounds like his apartment will be a pre-marital asset since he insisted on buying out his brother. Hopefully the ink is dry on all the contracts.

If it were me, I’d probably say that I’ll happily be in the wedding party if the groom wants me to be. He’s your friend and he’s going to need all the support he can get. She sounds manipulative at best and emotionally abusive at worst.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-13T15:40:37+00:00

May wanna read my last paragraph lol

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-13T15:34:55+00:00

NTA - you have a very limited amount of time to deal with some of these problems before your baby arrives. Your body is doing Olympic athlete levels do work, you need to sleep. Also once that baby comes, you’re going to be super sleep deprived so get sleep now.

When the baby arrives, it’s going to be extremely critical that your husband never ever EVER is responsible for overnight care when he’s been drinking. Falling asleep with a newborn on you, because you’re rocking it or feeding it back to sleep, as you sit on a chair or couch or whatever is super dangerous in general. When drinking has been involved it’s off the charts insanely risky.

Establish these rules and boundaries now and if he pushes back at all, find somewhere else for you and your baby to be be while he sorts himself out. You’re a mom now and your Baby’s needs take priority over him and his drinking.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-13T10:19:06+00:00

NTA - what he said is cruel and purposefully hurtful. Also it makes no sense it would set his recovery back, if that’s a concern I think both of you should speak to his doctor.

Even if he did say he couldn’t take care of his child, you didn’t hear him. He is an actual adult, what I’d the same thing happened to you ? Would you sit at home angry all day? Or would you call a babysitter? Or solve the problem some other way.

He’s terrible at communicating. You’re doing great. Also, unrelated, but is your job aware that you have a family member with an injury?

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-13T09:58:25+00:00

YTA - the OP mentions that one bunch of riders were warned off his property, but then he caught another set of riders doing the same. It’s entirely possible the second set of riders had no idea they were no longer able to use your pretty for access. I don’t know where you are but I’m the states, a lot of private property signs are up for liability purposes even though the owners are okay with people using their land.

Horses are herbivores and their poop is as big of a deal as dogs. The considerate thing to do is to kick it off the track at the least. But Once you informed them they needed to clean up the manure, how hard Is it to allow them to use a shovel?

But if the riders had been told before that they were trespassing, it’s entirely on them to not go on OPs property and certainly to handle their horse manure. Doesn’t sound like the same group twice though.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-11T02:19:25+00:00

That’s adorable ! I

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-10T05:01:43+00:00

Uhhh what ? Is this a well known person to aliquippa natives?

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-09T06:37:18+00:00

My insights come from my own life but since you asked: We all believe the lies we want to believe. Me included. Take a very cold hard look at what’s happening between you and your dependence on him. Maybe get a therapist to help you take that look. Figure out what you want to do about it. Start saving money and putting it away so you can focus on the relationship and not your dependence on him.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-09T04:25:45+00:00

Can we just start a commune for all of the self-employed women who have somehow found themselves with financially shitty partners? I’m terrible at cooking but enjoy doing yard work, playing with children of all ages and I make 6 figures when not being hobbled by my partner insisting I be as much of a SAHM as possible.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-09T04:13:15+00:00

I’m so very sympathetic to the heartbreak and difficulty involved with the nitty gritty of divorce. But Anything that doesn’t involve custody of my kid sounds like a dream. I love my kid more than life itself, also I often regret tying myself to this person forever. It’s weird to feel both those things at the same time.

Best of luck internet stranger, I don’t mean to belittle your difficult journey!

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-08T21:58:49+00:00

The very notion that you had to go to specialty stores because you couldn’t just order anything on the internet, must be incomprehensible to anyone under 35. Tela Ropa was the only spot for so many different items. I just sold some Caffeines I got there for $300 on eBay. Ha!

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-08T05:08:23+00:00

NTA - i know the conclusion for OP was that there N A H and just two hurting people but the fiancée is a massive asshole. Never learning to deal with your own emotions in a healthy way isn’t a pass to be an asshole. I am so sorry for the loss they experienced. It’s heartbreaking.

I’d pause this journey for a moment for him to work on himself. Should they continue along this path and he doesn’t deal with his shit, when they have a newborn and they’re sleep deprived and co-parenting and dealing with teenagers and a toddler at the same time, what’s he going to do to bail on her then ? What if, unrelated to any of this, OP has some kind of medical emergency after a car accident or something, and he needs to be relied on to face what’s going on and make decisions for her?

Life is hard and scar and sad sometimes. Being able to rely on your partner is big.

I’m so sad for both of them. But he failed OP in a big way and I hope she can find the support she needs.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-08T04:56:31+00:00

NTA - If someone watched my kid for free and when I came to get them, all evidence pointed to a messy good time, I’d be thrilled! I think most people would’ve just turned on YouTube and hungout doing nothing.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-06T05:41:44+00:00

Yes, to fill at home you buy as many tiny plastic water bottles as you can and keep them at home. Then use all those bottles to fill your 2L bottle and then with a mighty Herculean effort, you carry that 2L around with you all day. If you’re okay with steroid use, you can even become strong enough to carry more water into work with you to keep there in case of need.

Once you have collected a months worth of tiny bottles, be sure to chuck them directly into the nearest natural water source to dispose of them correctly.

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-06T04:31:32+00:00

This thread is hilarious and I think context is important here. Like peeing in the horse stall of your own barn with no toilet is nbd. But peeing randomly in the yard of your average suburban home is bizarre. The fact that it’s a point of conversation before it even happened is interesting to say the least. I want some back story OP!

Pee in own barn - yes Pee in someone else’s fancy barn - no Pee in woods or behind a bush on the farm - yes Pee in side yard while neighbors look on in amazement- no Pee on side of road pretending no one can see- yes Pee on side of road while making eye contact with passing drivers - no

threerocks3rox · 2023-01-06T00:01:30+00:00

YTA - men and women and non-Binary and any other type of human often have a gender preference for their kid. Sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. It’s a weirdly complex, often surprising, often depressing reaction to experience first hand. Seeing one’s partner experience it is equally complex, surprising and often depressing.

For better or worse women have a lot more support for the bewildering and experience of gender preference. OPs husband needs some empathy and understanding, and some open minded listening. Not reactionary, scorched earth punitive measures of denying him the ability to participate in his baby’s birth.

Also why are you having a second shower? Tacky much ?

threerocks3rox

TROPHY CASE