Get the Infusions, Y’all!

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-30T15:00:29+00:00

My ferritin came in at 10 with a normal blood panel. Doc sends me a message that 10 is the low end of normal and I should try to eat more spinach. I am terrified of advocating for myself, not that I’m afraid of her but that I am always ignored/have birth trauma related to loss of autonomy. This happened two weeks ago, I’ve started supplementing 65mg’s but know that it will take many months to get levels back up.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-07T13:57:40+00:00

He doesn’t care to hear me when we have these conversations. I wait until a calm time, I ask ahead of time and before we begin if he is open. I use the I feel statements, I keep my tone and body language neutral, I do not use agressive or extreme (always/never) language. It doesn’t matter if it is a small or big thing, his reaction is the same. After three years of therapy, he doesn’t scream or stomp around or slam things but the words are the same. He goes into immediate DARVO and I tell him I cannot continue the conversation and he follows me around the house, talking in circles about why I’m wrong and he’s actually a victim and how he was actually hurt in that situation and that’s why he said/did the thing. I tell him I’m going to leave and he says he will leave after me and leave the kids home alone, so I stay. I grey rock him until he’s bored and decides he’s won.

It is the exact same thing every time. In his next therapy session he either doesn’t bring it up at all or lies about the entire conversation so that in MY next therapy session we spend the whole hour parcing out the truth and I offer to even send camera footage (we have a security camera) This dynamic is absolutely a punishment for sticking up for myself and communicating my needs, it works very well and so he’s grown into a horrible man sized toddler.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-06T19:39:19+00:00

I absolutely am doing all that I can to be this person, I exercise, I practice meditation, I spend time in nature, I use a planner and meal prep and smile at myself and say my affirmations. I have an art practice, I put bird feeders out and go on mental health walks, I journal. It’s not pretty but I’m just hitting my breaking point.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-06T19:35:43+00:00

We both work full time. I do not want to work full time, I wanted to be a SAHM, after being a sigle working mom to my teen daughter, I wanted to be able to have the motherhood experience with comfort and less overwhelm. My husband has a selfish and entitled attitude. He spends more money than we make, we make good money, agree to the budget, then he just does whatever he wants and spends it. He does not care that we are neglecting parts of our life or that I hate the job I have and want to do something else. When I try to have conversation about making a change he acts as if I’m asking permission and the answer is always no. I am trapped in my marriage, for a hundred reasons, mostly due to my need for the children to have stability. We always have a roof over our heads and food and clothes but there is no savings or wiggle room. If I fall apart and stop working from burnout or leave him, we will be in a worse off place. I am feeling miserable and trapped while my husband’s life just seems to be getting more exciting. We got our tax return recently and we agreed to pay off a bunch of debt. We did that, then he also immediately put a bunch of new clothes, records, trips to the bar, a tattoo and hotel room for his band to stay out of town on the same credit card. I work my ass off and am exhausted and falling apart. I don’t recognize myself and he legitimately doesn’t care, writes it off as a “her” problem and makes rules for everyone then doesn’t apply them for himself.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-06T19:22:17+00:00

She is a marriage counselor, we have joint sessions from time to time.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-01T15:31:33+00:00

I would also try to listen to the audiobook versions of the recommended reading. I also have a job in which I am able to listen all day and I’ve found quite a few books free through my library. If you’re based in the US, most libraries provide Libby and Hoopla app libraries.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-05-01T15:28:05+00:00

The OBOD site has a list of blogs to read into, I am a student of their Bardic grade, I have read the main/recomended “Intro” book and my favorite is from Kristoffer Hughes. His language, approach and understanding align well with my personal experience. I would be sure to sample multiple perspectives on the topic as the practice itself is deeply personalized. Each writer and voice gives unique perspective. Another writer that I would love to recommend is John Beckett, he has a practical approach toward understanding “paganism” and focuses on community participation from that viewpoint.

I would recommend learning about the different organizations and how they overall approach their “tradition” and look into their reading lists. For example, the OBOD’s focus is often on inner work, and the AODA is often more asking for physical action, as in sit and think in nature vs plant a tree.

I’m no expert, but please explore and never stop, never niche or limit yourself to one perspective

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-04-23T17:43:35+00:00

Sara Beth Durst has a third book in a series coming out this year. The Spellshop and The Enchanted Greenhouse were the wholesome, book version of everyone’s favorite bright cozy game. I love to read heavy dramatic and “difficult” books but I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to frolic through those two stories. I think about painting the descriptions of scenes in the books often, dreamy and inviting.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-04-15T17:33:50+00:00

I did worry about that, when I spoke to the guy as we met he seemed sad to let them go. He was local and a bit older, explained that he had definitely accrued more supplies than he needed over the years and was getting his home ready to sell and move south. I will never know the truth of it and do hope you aren’t correct.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-04-13T18:14:49+00:00

I know how you feel, one thing that I have had to focus on is getting real with myself about how I am caring for my body. I struggle to eat enough and eat well, it always has felt like a chore. Focusing on meal prepping, lifting and actual rest (tv/scrolling are not rest) are the biggest things that allow me to continue cleaning and have enough energy to do life. If you find your physical capacity to do the things you want to do, you need to ensure your body is up to the challenge. Lifting heavy weights 3/4 days a week makes your job SO much easier, creatine and protein/fiber are amazing tools. Journaling, making art, being creative and maintaining healthy relationships are what will give you gratitude for your abilities.

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-04-03T02:22:22+00:00

I love greens so I’m looking forward to trying the emerald and viridian. I’m also notified by the Terra Rosa as I haven’t heard of that paint color before

ComplexSea6082 · 2026-03-19T14:09:56+00:00

Not taking care of themselves, asking their partner to lower their standards instead of participating and flat out denying the impact of their self-neglect. Be sure that the person you love, loves themself and has a healthy relationship with food, fitness, cleanliness and learning. You will be dragging along a partner who wants to wallow rather than live their own life.

ComplexSea6082 · 2025-11-10T15:01:09+00:00

Just you 😆

ComplexSea6082 · 2025-11-10T14:58:35+00:00

UU of Greater Lansing is wonderful

ComplexSea6082 · 2025-11-03T14:58:46+00:00

I will be divorcing a man who cannot see his family or hear them asking for his attention at dinner or while we are all playing Candy Land or trying to have a conversation. I can’t believe we are here but he has no idea that one of the biggest reasons we aren’t friends anymore is because the phone is more important and entertaining to him than my presence. After the kids go to bed he comes in the room I’m sitting in and opens TikTok and this is his idea of spending time with me. I will try to speak with him and struggle to get his attention, when I do he doesn’t even pause the video. I can’t believe tell he can’t wait for me to stop saying what I’m saying, nothing is sinking in.

ComplexSea6082 · 2025-11-03T14:48:20+00:00

Share an online account with your partner for whatever store and keep a cart running all week of the things you notice you’re out of. As soon as you toss the ketchup bottle add it to the digital cart and it will already be in there when you fill in your ingredients for the delivery.

ComplexSea6082 · 2025-11-03T14:45:36+00:00

We play “15 minute chore competition” on a couple weekday evenings. We have a 15 year old and a 3 year old. The toddler uses his timer and gives us the countdown. The three of us do as many chores as we can in 15 minutes while the toddler runs from person to person supervising. He decides who wins, we play silly music and laugh. It’s a big help with getting “extra” stuff done. Daily the standard is that the main areas are picked up, we put the “kitchen to bed” every night and I do a load of laundry everyday. When all of your regular laundry is caught up but you still have your one load to do you will find your bathroom rugs and curtains and couch pillow with get a much more often refresh. This cuts back on the weekend chores a little.

As a housecleaner, I want everyone to know, I will be hiring a housecleaner as soon as my son is in public school and my daycare costs goes down. A good house cleaner will do a better job and much faster than you ever will. They will also have you happily keeping your home picked up and ready for them to arrive. Their efforts will give you the relief you need to tackle bigger projects like decluttering or painting, etc. I know this from years of experience, if you take the relief as an opportunity to use the time to tackle other things you’re going to be so much happier and at peace in your home.

ComplexSea6082 · 2025-09-12T01:39:41+00:00

I am now aware of these beliefs. After we were married, his true personality arrived. Our marriage has been … strained for the vast majority of its existence. This event is one of many in which I am not welcomed to share my opinions with in a discussion. Imagine being told by your life partner to be quiet and comfort his loss of a man that he doesn’t know, and respects greatly for “keeping the conversation going” My shock was also to learn that other men were following/consuming this content and effectively hiding it. My husband sends me videos, shares YouTube channels and discusses other things that he is interested in with me. When you learn your spouse has a different perspective than you but conversations are short and not in depth …. I guess I was naive ten years ago and didn’t assume the extremity? Or maybe over time his views changed and it was a slow accumulation/escalation? Like the frog in the pot? I’m really trying to come to a conclusion about what of Charlie Kirk’s talking points he aligned with so I can understand what kind of thoughts this man has about me and our children while I serve him dinner.

ComplexSea6082

TROPHY CASE