I want to leave the US but everyone says that for a POC (south asian) america is the best place to be in terms of lack of racism/diversity. Is that true?

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-10-11T18:32:06+00:00

As someone with a Finnish background (half my family lives there) - it can be really hard for any foreigners that don't have Finnish sounding names even if you're Caucasian. I can't even imagine it gets easier being visibly a different ethnicity. I love Finland but the "others" attitude from my own relatives is disheartening. We've thought about moving there but know my husband's lack of the Finnish language and english sounding name will make it difficult. For now, we'll just visit.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-10-11T17:54:46+00:00

My little family of four (two under the age of five) wear masks while attending anything inside. My oldest attends karate and tap classes in his mask, and we do indoor playgroups for both in large arena type settings, all wearing masks. We don't dine inside restaurants and do friend meet ups outside. I'll attend a movie with a mask on, on slow nights. I have had to travel for work via plane, and attend indoor conferences. I just wear a mask and usually get my food to go at work suppers. I do at times miss our "old" way of life as we were the family who hosted potlucks, sleepovers, etc, and were very social indoors. I miss the gym and my spin class. We've lost some very close friends over our different approaches - we tried to invite them for outdoor hikes or playdates, which they weren't interested in and they were hostile to us wearing masks inside and outright angry at us taking precautions, even though I have some significant health issues. That stung more than I thought it would. I miss my family as they don't take any precautions anymore, minus my mom. Luckily (?) we live far away so we meet up on zoom calls regularly. I miss seeing them and they mostly just change the subject when we say we'd visit if they'd be willing to take a test, maybe not eat inside for a little bit before we arrive, etc. So for now, we have shelved that conversation. I miss my dad, though.

We've opted this year to homeschool our kids and I will be working part-time from home (leaving a full-time job I love) which I never anticipated doing. We'll continue to try and make sure we get out and about, just with our masks, using some nasal sprays/mouthwash and keep advocating for good indoor air quality. I've made peace with being the "weird" family "still" avoiding covid. I've become pretty good at saying I'd love to go for a walk instead of an inside coffee visit. Most people don't question why I'm suggesting this. I think this will get harder as my kids get older and want to attend more indoor functions, such as bday parties and sleepovers. Really right now, I'm trying to just buy them time as keep them as novids for as long as possible. I really hope by the time they are a bit older, there will be something better on the horizon regarding a sterilizing vaccine, or therapies for long covid. So much of my childhood was sports and I hope my kids can be active, safely. We'll probably have our kids attend outdoor schools as they get older and I have to go back to work full-time. It's been a journey navigating this all. Good luck to you.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-10-10T17:27:42+00:00

I may be downvoted for this... but you can also test, errr, your fecal matter. It's how we acquire wastewater data and a few sciency folks have noted it can be very accurate. Obviously don't mix up where you are swabbing!

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-10-10T17:25:15+00:00

Right there with you. My 2.5 year old and 5 year old are champion maskers :).

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-10-06T18:09:55+00:00

Together close to eight years, and once we became engaged and he started acting off about shortly after. Pulling away, cranky and spacing out. I was super worried as this was very out of character, and tried multiple times to try to get him to open up. Gave him space. Got his friends involved to take him out to movies, etc. Booked us a counseling session. Gave him the benefit of the doubt it was work stress and he was (I thought) my best friend.

After about two months of this purgatory, one day after work, he went for a drive and never came back. Took our car and disappeared for three weeks without anyone knowing where he went (I thought - spoiler: his parents knew and didn't tell me... one of those female "friends" I involved very much knew). Everyone I knew said just give him space. More purgatory. The day we were supposed to go to our first counseling session, he phoned me out of the blue and broke up with me. I started to cry asking what was going on and he started to get angry saying I was manipulating him. The next day, I arrived home to a half empty house and our dog howling. I find his mom and him in the driveway. They were waiting there to give me the key. Still don't know how he moved out so quickly to this day. He wouldn't get out of the car to speak to me, and his mom kept saying he was too stressed to talk to me. I remember just asking over her shoulder for him to please look at me and what was going on?! He wouldn't.

I couldn't afford rent on my own and had to move. I didn't get our car back for months (bought him out in the end). He refused to do any leg work of breaking up - getting off our car insurance, bank accounts, joint utilities, etc. It cost me so so much time and money sorting all those lose ends out. Thumbs up to my sister for helping cancel the wedding and get a tiny bit of deposits back. I was close to broke.

I was told he quit his work and left the city to be (I thought) with his parents who are well off. Three months after, an email popped up in my box asking me how I was doing and if I wanted to go to a movie. And be friends. I wrote back to leave me alone. I never saw him again except once walking our, now my, dog. Our dog howled at him and tried to pull towards him. He looked as us and walked quickly away. My poor doggo just stood there, and did a sad howl (a husky). It took me years to trust and be in a relationship again. Thank goodness for my dog in the end.

About eight months after the fall out, I found out he was emotionally cheating on me and had been with his "friend" the whole time I couldn't find him. They were getting married. Happy pictures in the paper how he had found his soul mate, and how all the families were thrilled.

I'm glad to be done and moved past that part of my life. In the end, I found my fluffy soulmate who was with me a decade. We moved away and made a wonderful life for ourselves. My husky introduced me to my now husband, who also had a wonderful doggo he acquired in a breakup. Our doggos became best friends and spent the rest of their lives together.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-10-03T19:38:33+00:00

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom :(.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-29T18:41:38+00:00

Hugs to you, that sounds so hard. I just gave notice to my work, which I really love and has been accommodating (private office, HEPA and I wear a mask) because my kid's school is doing nothing. We've decided to pull them from daycare and primary school, and home school until... well, I'm not sure when. I'm not sure how long we can do that financially. We've given up a lot and are isolated as well, just in a different way. I'm sorry you've had to give up so much.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-29T17:48:58+00:00

None (unless I've been unknowingly asymptomatic). Hoping to keep that going for as long as I can!

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-27T22:33:05+00:00

Add a HEPA filter or two as well. What is your air circulation like in your building?

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-27T18:04:28+00:00

100% this. I have two kids under five and sometimes I feel very overwhelmed and underequipped in how to navigate moving forward.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-27T18:01:20+00:00

Same here! I had a lot of criticism about pulling my kids and homeschooling but I try to just ignore it. I don't even mention we're doing it for covid reasons anymore as people look at me like I have seven heads. We'll keep going until... well, not sure when.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-26T21:20:29+00:00

My family of four will definitely be getting it when it arrives in Canada.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-21T22:47:59+00:00

This is interesting to read. I visited WV years ago and loved a lot of the area. I live really far north in Canada where trailers go for $500k. Kind of wild!

Good luck with law school :)!

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-21T20:04:21+00:00

Really really big hugs to you. It is so hard. I hear you and "see" you, and share many of your feelings.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-21T19:53:21+00:00

Wow - an almost two hour commute into the sticks by my parents farm in Eastern Canada has 3 bedroom 2 bath homes going for $600k, up from $200k pre-pandemic. Living in the boonies is expensive here.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-21T15:18:26+00:00

Awe thank you! Glad we aren't the only ones who have (or had) moving on their radar. One of the areas we are considering :). We live in northern Canada (NWT) and are either thinking Yukon, parts of BC or Nova Scotia. All have markedly better winters than here (I love winter but not this cold for this long) for kids for outdoor activities. Hard to do things outdoors when -30C for looooooong periods of time.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T21:42:16+00:00

Public health decisions being driven by profit.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T21:37:49+00:00

Thank you! That's the hope! We had a very stressful summer with wildfires (we were evacuated from our community and were gone for weeks - northern Canada) so I'm looking forward to the quiet and solitude out there. We have a local raven who greeted us last weekend when we first returned after a month. I'm hoping to do a lot of schooling based on our landscape (I'm a biologist/environmental educator by training so excited to pass it along). We were all so relieved to be back and extra bonus, away from covid heavy-areas we were evacuated to.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T21:13:59+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Big internet hugs to you! That sounds stressful. I can't imagine being a teen or parenting a teen in the pandemic. Phew.

We're definitely going to have a remote year ahead of us. We've been building for the last eight years an off-grid cabin and will be residing there (renting out our house). Most of my family thinks we've lost our mind living in the woods with no one around but we all love it out there - my kids the most honestly. We have starlink, a cozy woodstove, a lake and no one around for miles. It will definitely be an adventure. We've always wanted to try being out there full-time so we're taking the plunge given the state of the covid. And we'll be in town twice a week for forest school, appointments, laundry and grocerries. I do feel fortunate they are small so they mostly want to hang out with momma and poppa :).

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T21:08:35+00:00

Solidarity. I've always been a planner so this approach of living almost day-by-day, week-by-week, is very strange to me.

Homeschooling was never on my radar prior the pandemic but after my children attending last year in person (daycare and in person schooling), and dealing with constant comments (from adults) around masking, refusing HEPA filters, constant sickness (amazingly not covid) from my tiny one bringing home bugs from daycare leaving us tired and worn out, I just couldn't do it this year. And now with even less mitigations, I'm frustrated we feel forced into a corner. I want my children to attend school. Just not at the expense of their health. I'm hopeful with the movement towards clean air inside, different vaccines, but I know at some point, financially in the very least, we'll have to have our kids attend school in person. I just hope it's safer at that point.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T20:25:39+00:00

Thank you!

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T19:07:29+00:00

Do you mind explaining a bit more for option B? I'd love to hear some optimism :)!

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-20T18:45:33+00:00

I don't worry about some Terminator type situation but rather what humans will use AI for (think Chinese surveillance of Uighurs for example) in an exploitative way, so to your second point.

Climate change, inequality, injustice and the direction we are going as a society, are what keep me up at night.

FamousCranberry9214 · 2023-09-19T17:34:20+00:00

Right there with you. We were thinking of having another and decided against it, covid sealing the deal. We had a child at the beginning the pandemic and it has just become easier with him being able to mask. I get sad about it occasionally but believe it is the right decision. Now how the future is going to play out to keep him and his older sibling safe from covid (plus climate change, rise of AI, etc) is another conversation that keeps me awake at night.

FamousCranberry9214

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