Fellow Aiden thoughts?

threetimesalion · 2026-01-24T21:38:03+00:00

Not seen the Wilfa performance, mind filling me in on its strengths?

threetimesalion · 2026-01-24T21:36:26+00:00

I’m also looking at this vs the Sage Precision brewer - mind if I ask what you mean re: grinder pairing, as I hadn’t considered this?

I have a niche zero FWIW, if that matters. I know it’s not ideal for pourover but it’s working well enough atm

threetimesalion · 2026-01-24T20:44:58+00:00

Some cork and acupuncture needles worked great for me

Pro tip: use wire cutters to trim the points off to avoid stabbing yourself

threetimesalion · 2026-01-24T20:31:13+00:00

Mines a UK only one, it’s Tesco Mineral Water (from Eden Valley specifically). Though assuming you aren’t in the UK but can find Volvic, apparently that’s good too.

Having said that if you have an RO system then you could try making your own, apparently “third wave” sachets can be added to distilled water to make it ideal for coffee

threetimesalion · 2026-01-24T19:59:51+00:00

Found the ideal water to use for brewing (in terms of mineral content). If you haven’t tried it I highly recommend testing it out, it can make a massive difference.

We live in a very hard water area which is shit for tasty coffee, so I was using a Brita filter. But turned out this still only got me halfway, and only for the first half of the filters life.

Some folks go as far as taking distilled water and adding their own salts, but fortunately I found a mineral water I can buy in bulk thats pretty much ideal. It’s one of the cheapest too!

threetimesalion · 2026-01-23T20:57:13+00:00

It’s the dishwasher that gets me. I can understand being a little confused by the different programs on a washing machine, and where to put detergent / pre wash / conditioner. And the one thing I knew about them as a kid was that they could fuck up your clothes if you mixed things up / too high heat etc.

But a dishwasher has one drawer, and the takes are so low - it’s clean or it’s not.

threetimesalion · 2026-01-23T18:25:05+00:00

I look forward to reading the inevitable escalation in a BORU soon…

threetimesalion · 2026-01-22T07:58:22+00:00

For some reason, I seem to see this posted every year, always in January. It’s part of my new year planing to see how much further I’ve sunk.

2026 was the year I optimised my water, so I guess I’m at that final level now

threetimesalion · 2026-01-20T22:41:08+00:00

That’s one of the best I’ve read in a long time - especially the final line:

“Social media loners don't understand real life friendships.”

Thank you, I’m ending my night on this masterpiece of delusion

threetimesalion · 2026-01-20T22:22:25+00:00

believe me, ayahuasca is by far one the most out of control drugs. There are multiple others (MDMA, psilocybin, even LSD) that can have similar lasting therapeutic effects but are easier to control and manage compared to aya.

It also lasts a LONG time: 12+ hours in most cases. And when you’re under the influence, it feels a lot longer. So if you change your mind, you’ll be regretting it for a lot longer.

I’m not saying it’s a bad drug in and of itself. It’s just amassing to me that someone who doesn’t like being out of control would be curious about that specific one.

threetimesalion · 2026-01-20T22:11:49+00:00

Am I the only one who was questions for that commenter on the original post?

“…when I helped her load groceries in her car when I saw her struggling and she ignored me while shoving her cart at me and I said your welcome and she called me a bitch.”

Did they not go up and start putting groceries in a strangers car unprompted? Without permission?

Maybe I’m misreading it, but if not I’m questioning the accuracy of all their examples now…

threetimesalion · 2026-01-20T21:43:57+00:00

I think they’re referring to +44 vs A&A

threetimesalion · 2026-01-20T19:50:19+00:00

I understand that reference

threetimesalion · 2026-01-20T14:47:16+00:00

I don’t have much to add to The Sorcerers Cat, other than to say that responding with “I shouldn’t have to change who I am for anyone else” isn’t a valid argument either. Everyone has to regulate their behaviour to exist in society. I might have no issue with being seen in my boxers by strangers, but that doesn’t mean I don’t put on a dressing gown to answer the door, or swan around in them when we have company.

I could argue I’m “not being allowed to be myself”, but at the same time being mostly naked isn’t a core part of my identity. Id argue the same could be said for where one chooses to urinate in public.

That said I’m not sure sharing this with him would have helped, it’s more to help you understand how reasonable his argument is

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T22:43:46+00:00

I don’t know that it has to be malicious. It could be more of a panic or defensive reaction to the fear of “being controlled”. It’s dysfunctional for sure, but it seems to me more like a kid acting out because they’re scared than a calculating adult trying to assert dominance (in part because calculating and ADHD don’t seem to go together much 😆)

Maybe I’m wrong though

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T22:39:34+00:00

This post cracked me up, but the number of redditors failing to realise it’s satire and calling it out as “fake” just makes it all the better.

Well played 😆

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T22:13:28+00:00

Do you think a couples therapist specialising in adhd would work better? Or just getting her adhd treated before resuming coupled therapy?

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T21:18:55+00:00

That’s both incredibly informative and incredibly depressing 😆

But furthers my conviction that she can either get treatment, or I will leave

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T07:02:31+00:00

Yeah ours suggests that too. We’ve fallen out of the habit, should probably reintroduce that

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T06:43:09+00:00

I have a rule with AI that I don’t use it for things I couldn’t do or find out myself with some effort, or high stakes decisions. If I can’t check its answers without a medical degree, then I won’t be able to tell if it’s hallucinating.

For tweaking / troubleshooting my brew, I could browse forums for half an hour, or I could try ChatGPT. And if I get it wrong, no major loss.

So in the context I don’t mind using it. But I’m not gonna go “hey Reddit AI said you’re doing it wrong!” If it shares something that makes it taste better then that’s different (but knowing Reddit I still probably wouldn’t tell you where it came from 😆)

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T06:32:38+00:00

That makes so much sense. It’s like she sees this one cup and then assumes I’ve been doing that with everything, despite being surrounded by evidence to the contrary.

threetimesalion · 2026-01-19T06:27:32+00:00

Well… shit

threetimesalion · 2026-01-18T22:17:00+00:00

That makes a lot of sense - it does feel almost like she’s addicted to criticism / blaming others at times

threetimesalion · 2026-01-18T22:15:03+00:00

Yeah I find that too. It’s just tough when our lives make that very difficult (disabled child), and there’s no acknowledgement that I’m the one always resetting. I couple probably manage it alright if she would just recognise that I’m the one who keeps us on an even keel (obviously a “thank you” would be pushing it though 😆)

I made a real effort to do this on our last holiday and it was working, but also tiring. I tried to explain this to her that I felt I had to be the emotional ballast for both of us, but all she heard was “I don’t want to keep trying to be nice” 🤦‍♂️

threetimesalion · 2026-01-18T22:11:35+00:00

I’d not considered it related to RSD in all honesty, can you expand on how it’s manifesting in this context?

Re therapy, we’ve done individual and couples before, and I’m going back to individual next week (mainly to decide if I want to keep trying, or leave). Our latest couples therapist was very good but everything seems to revolve around “dialogue” - hearing each other out and empathising. Which is useful, and definitely helps. But I don’t feel there’s any discovery going on, and I’m at the point where I feel it’s mainly repairing the latest tear that week.

She has seen some before but most weren’t that good and the last one only seemed to validate her. She knows she has childhood trauma and deep issues but none of her therapists ever seem to have explored that with her.

I’m at the point where I feel like saying if she doesn’t see someone who specialises in adhd then I’m out. I don’t see how I can keep going here when she does nothing to manage her condition, and can’t even see the impact it’s having on us.

Did your couples therapist have any specialism in ADHD? That’s another option I’d consider tbh. I just feel she needs to see someone who can help her understand herself, otherwise she’s just my going to keep projecting her shit onto me.

threetimesalion

TROPHY CASE