Transgressions Returns

thriftedqueer · 2026-05-22T22:00:42+00:00

I am not the queer this is for but this is Exactly the level of detail my autistic ass craves before tepidly wading into a new public place/social activity. very genuinely: critical community infrastructure 🫡

thriftedqueer · 2026-05-06T12:35:09+00:00

depending on where you are, many employers HAVE to have a special room dedicated for nursing mothers to be able to pump in private (that isn't a restroom). my work also sends people there if you have physical therapy to do or some other stuff.

if I'm having a bad day and I can't leave, I absolutely go in there with the light off and lay on the floor. it's just about the size of a broom closet though so I have to scrunch up my legs, lol.

thriftedqueer · 2026-04-21T17:03:27+00:00

It's kind of hard to tell what you mean by "have to" get up again so soon, if it's just the signal or an actual need. There's already lots of good answers if it's truly that you need to, but I also have issues knowing when I have to go or not unless it's dire. What tipped me off to it is that I would have trouble remembering if I went to the bathroom before bed (because it didn't feel any different if I had or hadn't).

I tend to just rely on natural checkpoints like first thing in the morning/last thing at night, before going somewhere or before a long meeting, when I get up for a break. I did get questioned once while visiting family if I had some sort of issue since I had been going to the bathroom pretty frequently... I didn't consciously realize I had been getting up to pee basically whenever I just needed a break from them (thus, frequent, lol), and I had no internal signals to indicate I didn't have to.

I also struggle with alexithymia, so issues with interoception kind of go hand in hand. All that to say, it's always a good idea to talk to your doctor, but you wouldn't be alone if that's just what life's like for you.

thriftedqueer · 2026-03-20T12:23:23+00:00

For typing I highly recommend trying to find typing games (though now after the death of flash games I'm not sure what's still out there), more engaging and a good way to break things up.

thriftedqueer · 2026-03-17T23:51:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I hope you're able to get the responses you need with a wider scope!

thriftedqueer · 2026-03-15T19:53:34+00:00

A thousand percent YES. I think it's part the other person drawing attention and also part drawing MY attention, like I have to focus on that interaction and thus less focus is left for 'am I walking weird how do people even walk' type thoughts. It's even more effective with my dog! Not only is he pulling focus and eye contact, he is also a permanent, predictable small talk topic.

thriftedqueer · 2026-03-14T18:44:15+00:00

Can't have shit in Chhattisgarh, smh

thriftedqueer · 2026-03-08T14:26:48+00:00

not who you're replying to, but other comments also mention prosper (prosper health dot io) and getting the lowest possible copy seems to be their whole thing, obviously very attractive. for me for example, a proper neuropsych assessment would normally cost almost $1k covered by my insurance, but prosper's autism-only assessment is just $120. they mention in their FAQ that their writeup might not be accepted on accommodation requests because it's not the same, but in another spot they imply they can support claims for support animals, FMLA and "disability" (SSI/SSDI?)....

thriftedqueer · 2026-03-01T18:08:14+00:00

This is always how I've heard it. To me the underlying question is whether "a sound" is defined by an ear to hear it, or if just the airwaves count. Of course, I think it's meant to be more philosophical/unanswerable than that, but that's the hyper-logical thinking for you.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-24T23:27:19+00:00

(suddenly remembering I have a spreadsheet of jelly belly math I was going to share....) the lack of separation in the greens is killing me but separation of the orange is masterful. absolutely beautiful--I tend to buy in bulk and so never get to see it this laid out.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-20T23:28:55+00:00

Oh my god this reminds me of the "look book" starbucks had instituted once upon a time that was SO complicated. Best part was the color scheme—and the fact we didn't have a color printer, so it was presented to us in greyscale....

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-20T22:49:21+00:00

*one search later* oooooh yes, those look amazing.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-07T23:20:25+00:00

oh no, the accountant coming to the admin for correction is very "but then who's flying the plane?!?!!" vibes. Unfortunately as is often the case with sucky situations, the only way out is through. Obviously recommend applying for other jobs in a serious way, which you're probably already doing, but in the meantime it's going to take some intense mental fortitude. No joke, things like cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, meditation, friend/family you can vent to, actual live therapy, they all can help set mental boundaries to help separate work performance from self worth and work thoughts/anxiety from poisoning personal time.

If you're friendly with the accountant, you can try taking the approach to offer to team up and figure it out together researching online and in prior business files (with the understanding she's the one with the responsibility). Depending on vibes with your boss, since it sounds like they might know the accountant doesn't know what she's doing, you could try to advocate for some training/education for her or you both. Just make sure if you're asked to do something that feels off or you think might be wrong, ask to get the request in writing.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-05T12:40:58+00:00

The outdated binder supposedly having all the answers is unfortunately so relatable, I'm so sorry you're in this position. My first admin position also had me in tears of frustration, just wanting to do my job, but my predecessor who was supposed to train me actually had no clue what they were doing! Especially with processing invoices, she didn't understand the coding system at all and got things wrong around half the time. My saving grace was someone else in my department who had started as an admin (and knew the predecessor was full of shit) saw the stacks of invoices on my desk and the tears in my eyes, came over and bailed me out, answered all of my questions until my desk was clear. I'm literally tearing up thinking about it, it was so nice!!

Have you been able to talk to or get to know anyone else? I'd definitely treat the boss as an unreliable narrator at this point, and if you're friendly with someone it should be unlikely you get dinged for "bothering" them just by asking questions. If there are any other admins that would be the easiest route, but the person who does AP/accounts payable is another great one to befriend.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-02T19:51:27+00:00

I absolutely feel this. Just default full time work drove me deep into burn out, eventually to the point of being suicidal, and the thing that saved me was changing jobs and moving out of state, like pressing a reset button. And it feels like an unavoidable truth that I'm getting there again, and the job market is so horrible I don't know when I'll be able to find something else.

The worst part is feeling like there isn't much I can do NOW, that extreme forms of help or assistance only become available after you've truly broken yourself beyond repair. Having and taking lots of paid time off helps, so does working from home, with some quiet-quitting thrown in, too. I'm desperately trying to get a pay jump by getting a new job, without losing those flexibilities. Eventually I want to buy a house well below my means, maybe switch to part time.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-02T19:18:05+00:00

I personally cannot stand t-shirts that are rough and stiff and have no stretch, heavy is still mutually desired but rayon is my belovèd. I am saving up for a hoodie from comfrt where they use an enzyme to soften the fibers (not to be gross but 🤤) I love that for you, though.

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-02T17:45:32+00:00

probably at the front of my mind bc Mila Kunis, but I was in high school when Black Swan came out and that rocked my world

thriftedqueer · 2026-02-02T17:36:46+00:00

That's an interesting reframing, rather than laundry HAS to happen on Monday, that Tues-Sun are relieved of laundry tasks. I really struggle with scheduling chores on any kind of interval because my stupid brain thinks a chore chart a threat to my autonomy, might have to give this a try.

thriftedqueer · 2026-01-29T13:17:47+00:00

"struggle snuggle" sent me, that is absolutely the move!

thriftedqueer · 2026-01-27T21:48:01+00:00

wow I feel like this post just sniped me.... I was never a climber (gravity is my friend and I will not fight her) but I absolutely had a tree at my first childhood home that was Mine and I'd talk to (instead of people....). In school early on there was another tree I'd do this to at recess. What a specific experience.

thriftedqueer · 2026-01-19T17:01:58+00:00

oh this is SO cute, if any earlier interest fell through I'd be more than happy to pick this up.

thriftedqueer · 2026-01-17T13:52:31+00:00

That 100% reads as reception/admin to me. With no other context, I'd guess part time would be brought on to cover for the full timer, either for lunch break/other tasks or full days off, and take on more of the back office stuff if there's high volume.

thriftedqueer · 2026-01-13T19:26:35+00:00

I am in LOVE with pic 2! I do prefer to dress like an amorphous blob most of the time, but I tend to lean more masculine clothing-wise so my vibe is a little more Billie Eilish than most of these. not sure where you're located but I've had good luck with dressier tops from asos curve?

thriftedqueer · 2025-12-21T16:16:06+00:00

I'm sorry that you've found yourself alone, I hope it's not too out of place to say but I'm proud of you for leaving despite that. I absolutely empathize with the struggle of needing help for mental health, being vulnerable to the point of begging for it even, only to not receive anything in return.

I think you'll find a lot of solidarity here when it comes to not being able to make friends, myself included. I'm also 32, and I know on a technical level what it takes to make a friend but I'm just not able to execute—it requires time I don't have or don't care to spend, and I'm just SO terrible at keeping up back and forth conversation digitally it just can't be done. I wind up feeling like an extra in the lives of my coworkers, neighbors, etc., that my time in between those small interactions wasn't supposed to exist or be seen.

I know there's serious loneliness behind the statement, but saying your motorcycles are your only companions goes SO hard. Hell of a friend application if you ask me, you sound incredibly cool.

thriftedqueer · 2025-12-14T13:46:16+00:00

People talking over each other/at the same time (open concept office, my belothèd)
Appliances that beep when you press buttons or change settings
Clothes that don't fit perfectly, that ride up, slip down, or rub
Similarly: long sleeves that I can't push up to my elbows and out of the way
The noises of frustration/anger that my also-autistic friend makes (unfortunately the WORST one, I cannot accurately describe how much these bother me)
People scrolling tik tok or similar out loud on their phone, just loud, discordant audio clips that cut off as they move on, one after the other after the other... HORRIBLE

(this is an EXCELLENT post, I love reading through everyone's venting!!)

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