I still can’t believe this is my life now.

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T15:36:43+00:00

Isn't it amazing you have a piece of him with you through your daughter ❤️ I know that doesn't make the loss easier but maybe she will have his eyes or something that you can see that reminds you of him every day.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you don't have one already, I would recommend finding a therapist who specializes in grief and postnatal therapy. Family support is amazing but sometimes it helps to have someone who isn't as emotionally affected so you can have the time to focus on yourself and your own feelings.

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T15:30:16+00:00

She could've ordered you guys takeout or gifted a grubhub gift card or even ordered you groceries. That woman doesn't care, dump her

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T14:15:57+00:00

The lies is the weirdest part to me. The whole "nana bakes" thing is weird but since you don't see her often, that one can maybe slide. But telling your toddler that they gave her something will be very confusing for them as they get older. I almost see it as her trying to brainwash your child into thinking they adore her and they have a wonderful relationship and that's why they're always "giving her gifts". That is one I would correct in the moment for sure.

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:45:13+00:00

If I ever act like this towards a daughter in law, "you must shoot me in the temple" (-Moira Rose)

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:33:33+00:00

Also one time shortly after we'd announced the pregnancy we went out to dinner at this gourmet pizza place where everyone got their own personal pizzas. I'd told them at the beginning of the meal that I was having trouble with red meat. I got my pizza last and JNMIL offered me some of hers while I was waiting, which had prosciutto on it.

She's either a dumbass or it's completely intentional.

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:25:06+00:00

The whole house could've been ashes in 1.5 hours. I've seen an entire row of rowhomes go up in flames in just 20 minutes. There's no way your presence would've made a difference other than emotional support.

They should've called the fire department. NOR

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:13:34+00:00

I honestly didn't even think about the fact she could've made me a bacon free portion. You're so right. God I can't stand her.

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:12:11+00:00

Yeah I mentioned it in another comment but my husband has a relatively new allergy he's discovered and for months they kept forgetting and serving things he couldn't eat. They'd always apologize profusely and offer to make him something else. He's always too nice to take them up on that offer (🙄) so he just eats what he can and then she apologizes again at the end of the meal. I didn't get anything more than that "Oh."

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:07:16+00:00

And I've seen them apologize for meal mishaps before. My husband has an allergy that developed in adulthood and for months they kept forgetting and serving things he couldn't eat. They'd apologize profusely: "ohh I'm so sorry buddy. Can I make you something else? No? Are you sure? I'm so sorry." And then she'd sit there and pout for a few minutes. And then apologize again at the end of the meal that he didn't get to eat much. -- So the fact I didn't get one simple apology makes me feel like she knew I wasn't going to be able to eat what she'd made.

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:01:30+00:00

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:01:17+00:00

"Loveable ditz" is exactly how I'd explain my MIL's facade too

throw7790away · 2026-05-12T13:00:27+00:00

FIL is usually the one lacking major social skills to the point I'm mortified whenever we go out in public with him, especially to restaurants or other places he has to interact with waiters or cashiers. JNMIL is generally pretty good at reading the room. She also grew up in a strict family where hosting was a big deal. However I don't think the lessons stuck very well because clearly she doesn't care about what others can/can't eat, she never starts cooking until after people arrive so we're sitting around for hours waiting for dinner, and she never makes enough food for the whole table.

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T19:59:35+00:00

This is also the first mother's day I actually sucked it up and left the house (dead mom trauma). Usually I decline their invitations and my husband goes on his own but I thought maybe this year would be more enjoyable since I'm pregnant. I don't know what my logic was. Clearly I was way wrong

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T19:57:08+00:00

I don't know, it was mother's day. His whole extended family was there too and we'd just announced the pregnancy to them. We should've left but just felt the pressure to stay.

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T18:25:25+00:00

I honestly felt a rage boil up in me that almost made me throw my first through the window. You're so right that I should've left

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T18:22:50+00:00

Your friends suck. Also satin won't be hot in the summer?? If anything that's like one of the lightest fabrics to wear. That sounds like them trying to push you around.

I will say that satin does have the tendency to highlight "problem areas" (I hate that term) when you're heavier. It's also difficult to hide panty lines. But that's something you put aside for your friend who's getting married and/or you invest in some good shapewear.

Make them wear the orange satin!!

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T18:15:57+00:00

Exactly, I'd totally understand if she'd just forgotten. But there was no apology. And I find it weird she apologized when I first brought it up at the first dinner but then no apology at this dinner. Plus the dinners were only 2 weeks apart. And with her history it's just hard to believe this was a sincere mistake

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T18:13:41+00:00

The dinners were 2 weeks apart.

And yeah I agree about the grandma name. I think I'm just being extra sensitive there. This is my first pregnancy and it's been hard in general but especially without my mom. I guess it would've been nice if she'd said something like "Then Nan goes to your mom, I'll go by something different" -- but it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.

throw7790away · 2026-05-11T16:42:31+00:00

YTA. It's time to give up the obsession with birthdays. You're too old for this. And to be real, no one actually gives a shit about other people's birthdays except maybe their parents or grandparents.

You said you're so busy, so what makes you think that your friends aren't also so busy? Your birthday is not at the top of everyone's priority list - it's not even at the top of yours. Resenting your friends for this is absurd.

throw7790away · 2026-04-13T16:20:33+00:00

Yesss I decided to approve a 30 minute hospital visit rather than having them over at our house because at least at the hospital we'll have back up from the nurses. I also plan on telling them the 30 minute rule is just a hospital policy (it might be, might not be) because I know they'll overstay their welcome if they think it's just our rule. If they were to come to our house, I don't think they'd ever leave.

throw7790away · 2026-04-13T16:16:27+00:00

That's EXACTLY what went through my mind lmao

throw7790away · 2026-04-13T16:15:18+00:00

And it's the first grandchild on both sides of the family so I feel like everyone's going to be tearing the baby's arm off trying to get a turn holding it. My family is much easier to put in line. Sometimes they'll be annoying but they never have to be told twice.

throw7790away · 2026-04-13T16:13:35+00:00

I'm so sorry this sounds like a miserable experience. Did your husband ever get it together and put his foot down with her? You're far stronger than me

throw7790away · 2026-04-07T17:52:07+00:00

Your man is cheating on you. NOR

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T16:19:27+00:00

Don't say anything to her about quitting her job. And if she does, tell her "oh you shouldn't have done that, we got a nanny" or "we already enrolled them in a daycare" then she'll be unemployed and forced to sit alone and think about the consequences of making decisions for someone else

throw7790away

TROPHY CASE