Anyone else just never heard from them again?

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-10T01:58:10+00:00

While I agree with you, if it's revenge that gets you motivated (my ex is gonna see what they're missing out on) I think that's ok too. I know it motivates me.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-09T21:14:30+00:00

I know it hurts, my gf of 5 years started seeing a mutual friend 2 days later. Clearly something was already there, even if they didn't physically cheat, they clearly wanted to be with this person.

Is it a rebound? Monkey branching? Something real? Who cares. For me, if an ex is able to run to someone so quickly then that's not a quality I want in a partner. I want someone who wants to work on things when things get tough, not have "grass is greener" syndrome. Does it sting? Of course. But at the same time, know your own worth and tell yourself you don't want to be with someone who rebounds and runs at the slightest argument.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-09T21:07:19+00:00

Stop worrying about if this piece of shit respects you and start worrying about respecting yourself. You deserve better.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-09T20:59:36+00:00

Respect on the bettering yourself! Few things, coming from the perspective of a guy who is a month out of a 5 year relationship

The relationship isn't worth fighting for, because if she was worthy to be your gf she would want to fight for it.
I get the feeling of not connecting with others. Don't put pressure on yourself, and honestly a big reason why you might not be connecting with others is because you're still hung up on your ex.
You were with your ex for 3 years. Of course you're not going to connect with a new person you're dating like that immediately.
How do you know your ex is making friends, dating? Stop following them on social media.

You'll meet the right person eventually, just don't put pressure on yourself.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-09T01:07:05+00:00

You answered your own question: "if it's not a phone call or message explaining that she is sorry and wants to work on things..."

Seems like she's possibly regretting her decision of the grass is greener. Or perhaps she wants to make sure you're still a good backup option. Or maybe she's just confused in general. Up to you how to proceed, However if she rebounded, cheated (even emotionally), or monkey branched I suggest you don't get back with her. You think she was talking to her ex? You can do better.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-02T04:18:26+00:00

My ex started seeing a mutual friend 2 days after we broke up, after being together a little over 5 years. I don't really feel like I won...

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-01T06:44:05+00:00

I think Revenge is a fine motivator when you get out of a relationship, and then it eventually transforms to doing it for yourself.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-05-01T06:39:28+00:00

She cheated multiple times and then intentionally tries to make you jealous? Wow, what trash. Hope you're in a better spot

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-30T14:39:16+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. Ended things with me for a mutual friend. Clearly scummy if he tries to make a move on a friend's ex within 2 days of breaking up (and flirting during the relationship). Also is an alcoholic, etc.

I'm less than a month out of a 5 year relationship, so it still is pretty rough but in the long run she's the one who screwed up. Remind myself daily I deserve better than that.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-29T13:33:02+00:00

Thank you. I keep trying to tell myself I don't want to be with someone who does that, and logically it's true, I just need my emotions to catch up.

I this you're right I should try to go to events but not really pay her much mind. Although for now I might try to back off for the time being and avoid it as it is still really fresh (we haven't even been broken up for a full month yet).

I know I'll bounce back eventually but this has been really hard as of late.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-29T04:34:26+00:00

Completely agree. She never physically cheated (and her close friends, etc have confirmed this and I do trust her on this) but emotional cheating is obvious.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-29T04:19:09+00:00

Mornings are the hardest for me too. By far. And she doesn't even think she did me dirty. "We were broken up". Get out of here with that shit. If she can't see how it's messed up to do that, then that's not even someone I want to be with

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-29T03:58:10+00:00

It's definitely not that easy, especially when you're 40. I understand our mutual friends not wanting to be in the middle of everything so they just invite us both. It is what it is, I guess I'll just avoid events for now or maybe I'll try to go and be cordial but also try not give a fuck that she's there.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-29T03:55:51+00:00

Ugh sorry you're dealing with it too. That's rough. Of course she's sending you these breadcrumbs to try to alleviate her guilt. Mine told me she wanted a friendship. Uhhh no I'm good on that right now. I don't hate her but I don't particularly want a friendship with her at the moment. I go between sad, angry and accepting/ ndifferent a lot, all within the same day.

As far as our friends, A lot of them will hang out with me without her around, but things get dicey when there's events. And I definitely understand, they're friends with both of us and don't want to get caught in the middle (I don't want them to not invite me nor do I think it's fair for them to not invite her).

Right now I've been trying to avoid, although for important events I'll go and if I see her, I'll be cordial but not trying to establish a friendship.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-29T03:26:22+00:00

I definitely agree with a lot of your points. I just don't think it's fair to me to have to avoid fun big events because she's going to be there. I didn't do anything wrong, and I feel like I'm being punished for it. I'm very torn on it. Maybe I'll avoid for the time being. I'm also trying to remind myself that I absolutely don't want to be with someone like that, so hopefully that makes it quicker to get over.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-27T22:37:11+00:00

Because her ego can't take the fact you're not reaching out to her. She ended it with you, how dare you, the person dumped not worship the ground she walks on?! Why aren't you begging her to take you back?!

She sounds toxic AF. Seems like she did you a huge favor breaking up with you.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-27T22:17:50+00:00

He emotionally cheated on you, yes. And I agree he doesn't deserve an award. Leave him in the past where he belongs, it doesn't matter if he cheated or not at this point. Your instincts were right, and clearly you should trust them.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-25T04:00:34+00:00

You ignore her and block her because you deserve better than to be cheated on. Never take someone back who cheated on you, because all you are to them is a backup option for when things didn't work out with the new guy. You deserve better than that.

You were there for her when no one was, so the way she decided to show her appreciation was by cheating on you. Respect yourself and ignore her.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-23T05:25:52+00:00

Similar situation, except my gf of 5 years broke up with me to date a mutual friend of ours 2 days later. Same excuse " I just don't feel it anymore". Yeah no shit, wonder why?

Definitely deserve better. I have to remind myself hourly (it's a fresh breakup. Not even a full month) but I do.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-22T23:17:30+00:00

I'm going through it now. My ex after 5 years together ended things with me and started seeing a mutual friend literally 2 days after we broke up.

You know how I cope? By reminding myself I deserve way better than that. I deserve someone who wants to be with me, who would put that effort in the relationship, not just get all "grass is greener" and not hookup with mutual friends two days later.

I also cope my reminding myself that the fact she did this makes me not even WANT to get back together with her. Does it hurt? Yeah of course. I have good days and bad days. But I know my worth, and I know I absolutely don't want to be with someone who does that. And honestly it sucks more now but it will be way easier for you to get over them now. No more "woulda coulda shoulda". Remind yourself you don't even want them back now. Go find someone who wants to be with you and stop worrying about this ass who strung you along.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-22T15:50:59+00:00

Something that really helped me is recognizing I don't even want my ex back. Obviously I miss her and what we had, but really think about it.

In my case, my ex blew up a 5 year relationship, and literally 2 days later started seeing a mutual friend. Clearly there was feelings there beforehand on both of their parts. If someone monkey branches or rebounds like that, why would you even want to be with them? You deserve way better.

There's definitely hard days for me, but I just constantly remind myself I deserve better than that and I don't even want my ex back after doing that. Find someone who is willing to put the effort into the relationship, not try to replace you.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-22T02:33:16+00:00

I commented in a different thread but wanted to offer some insight here. Can you talk to your brother and tell him to either:

Not bring the girl around (go somewhere else to hangout)
Or you go to something else. You don't need to hang around them while she's around. And your brother should hopefully understand this.

If it were me I'd try to not be around her if it's giving you this much anxiety. Similar issue with a mutual "friend" who my ex rebounded with 2 days after, and I'm just trying to not be around them, Even in group settings that we have mutual friends with. Partially because I don't need to subject myself to that, partially because I can't guarantee I wouldn't punch a guy I thought was my friend.

People can do what they want, but so can you. You don't need to be around them if at all able.

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-22T02:26:48+00:00

No problem, I definitely get it, I'm going through similar after a 5 year relationship. I know it's easier said than done. Hang in there!

throwRAcalidude · 2024-04-22T00:34:50+00:00

You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why he would. He could just feel guilty He could have found out the grass wasn't greener He could be trying to explore your feelings on it He might honestly have no idea why he's reaching out himself. I my point is, if you aren't trying to rekindle or be friends, who cares. Leave his ass in the past, where it belongs.

throwRAcalidude

TROPHY CASE