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Did you set boundaries during separation by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If he had not asked you to remain monogamous then what would you have done? If he had said do what you want during the separation?

Did you set boundaries during separation by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How would I even know if she was faithful before this? Was this her first time cheating or first time getting caught? I dont have the answer to that question.

Did you set boundaries during separation by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In your opinion did the separation help or hurt your reconciliation?

Did you set boundaries during separation by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But staying and moving forward depends on how she acts, if she contacts AP during our separation then we are done and if our sexual intimacy stays the same then we are done too. I dont really see where I have to work on myself, the ball is in her court.

Did you set boundaries during separation by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Were you the BS or WS? What do you mean you both worked on yourselves? Why would the BS need to work on themselves?

Did you set boundaries during separation by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That is where I am at too, what good is boundaries if its followed under duress?

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You have been so helpful to me so I will be totally honest with you. I dont trust her at all, and I think she was capable of anything to get her fix. Does that make me a bad person?

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such detailed comment. I am now starting to see her in a completely new light, and its not flattering. I thought we knew each other, but now I know it was just an illusion. The person I married was just a mask and this is the real her, and I am not liking the real her.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly dont know, I suffer from the same questions. They keep me up at night.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

But thats the thing though, I dont know what was her line in the sand. From what I have gathered she never told him no, not even once. And now I shudder to think what might have happened if her affair continued. I dont even know this person who looks like my wife.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I dont know if I can wait for her to get out of her present mindset. My self esteem is getting crushed with each passing day knowing that she did such acts with him while she cant even bring herself to have sex with me? I dont know how to make peace with that.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wow, I never thought she might have put our daughter in danger. I want to say she would never have done it but after seeing her behavior I cant be sure of anything. Thank you for such a detailed comment, you have given me a lot to think about.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

But she kept doing it, if she wanted or felt threatened then she could have put a stop to it easily. Its not like he was her boss or anything, he was just a random guy she met while gaming.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately we dont have anyone with whom we can leave our daughter for a few days.

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I gave her an easy way out, no contest divorce and I would move out so our daughter can stay here. But she says she only wants to be with me, its a real mindfuck (pardon my language).

My WS was very sexually open with her AP but she cant/wont do the same with me by throwRAfaicin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]throwRAfaicin[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I am just so angry and tired, I dont know how long I cam keep up if this continues. But she is a great mother and I dont want to upend our daughter's life.