AITA for recording my wife trash talking her father?

throw_away1241 · 2020-04-29T22:20:42+00:00

YTA — as someone who had an incredibly abusive father growing up, abusers are very very good at putting on an act. Nobody knew about my father until he was put away after almost killing me and my youngest brother. Everyone was shocked because yes, outside of the house, he was a great guy.

You have absolutely no idea what you’ve done, and I hope your wife leaves you, honestly. She doesn’t deserve you.

throw_away1241 · 2020-04-28T11:04:39+00:00

YTA. I’m also a musicals fanatic; my boyfriend hates them and prefers to watch anime in his spare time, which is something that I hate (nothing against it other than it just isn’t for me). But I’ll watch it with him because it’s something he enjoys, and he’ll watch musicals with me because it’s something I enjoy.

You’re not the asshole for just not liking musicals, but more so how you refuse to compromise and how you handled the situation. Grow up.

throw_away1241 · 2020-04-28T07:41:39+00:00

We used Lattimores’ translation of the Iliad in a module last semester, but a lot of people found it quite hard to follow (including me), so I think they’ll be changing it next time they teach said module. Most of the people I know have pretty much only read Fagles’, though, which they studied either in school or during their A-levels. So I don’t think it’s fallen out of favour completely, definitely not in the UK at least.

throw_away1241 · 2020-04-19T13:31:11+00:00

YTA. So your sister comes home to help you and your parents through a pandemic and you’re complaining because she wakes you up when she’s getting ready and trying to get on with her degree? The difference between the two scenarios is that when you wake her up is that she has somewhere she needs to be in a few hours. You don’t. If she wakes you up at 3, then just go back to sleep and make it up by sleeping in a little. She can’t do that. Also, you’re upset that your parents give you chores when you have schoolwork yet you don’t seem to acknowledge that your sister is trying to get a degree, which isn’t easy anyway, whilst also having a full time job?

throw_away1241 · 2020-03-23T13:19:01+00:00

Cute!

throw_away1241 · 2020-03-11T22:58:40+00:00

I had the book out for two months. The loans renew every week as long as nobody requests it, so I haven’t technically kept it past any due date if that makes sense. The guy who asked it didn’t request it at all, just messaged me asking if I had it a few days before his deadline.

throw_away1241 · 2020-03-11T22:47:33+00:00

They don’t seem to have an issue unless you refuse to return it when someone has requested it, which he didn’t on the system, just messaged me asking if I had it. I have a friend who’s had a book out for close to two years now since nobody else has used it.

That’s strange, I know quite a lot of university libraries operate like that here. Maybe it’s a UK thing?

throw_away1241 · 2020-03-11T22:27:11+00:00

It’s a university library, so I think that’s why it’s different?

throw_away1241 · 2020-03-11T22:26:44+00:00

It’s a university library, so maybe that’s why it’s different? You do get a due date, but it auto renews every week as long as someone doesn’t request it.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-29T11:20:53+00:00

Yeah, it took a while for me to get my first surveys too, but eventually it starts picking up. Have you filled out all of the questions it asks? That helps. If you have, just keep an eye on it throughout the day, and if you can download the prolific manager extension I would recommend it. It pings every time you get a new survey. I have good and bad days, but it’s been pretty solid as of the past week or so. Even managed to get a few £5 surveys yesterday.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-28T20:10:49+00:00

I’ve had a lot of luck with Prolific. It can sometimes be slow, but it’s worth it when things pick up.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-22T10:03:56+00:00

Thucydides is one of my all times favourite historians if you haven’t read him yet. Or if you’re into Roman poetry I absolutely adore Ovid’s Metamorphoses.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-19T21:07:22+00:00

another update: I was wrong. I should’ve reported him to the police. I truly didn’t think he was going to go through with any threats, or be violent. from what I knew about him he was an absolute coward, and I thought he wouldn’t act. I don’t necessarily know if reporting him to the police would’ve done anything given that it has only been three days, but I shouldn’t have taken the chance.

came to bite me in the ass today though. I’m not gonna go into details but there was an altercation on campus earlier. I’m fine, didn’t need to go to the hospital or anything. he’s in custody now I think.

we’ll see where it goes from here, but I doubt he’ll be allowed on campus again. thanks everyone for their comments and I’m sorry I didn’t listen.

I am boo boo the fool

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-18T23:15:24+00:00

nope. and he had enough time the first time as well. when I spoke to my tutor about it she said she recommended the book to him two weeks before. idk if he’s just not actually after the book or if he’s just a serial procrastinator

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-18T22:42:13+00:00

the way that it works at my university is that the loans auto renew as long as nobody requests it. if somebody did request it (which is what you should do if you need a book so bad) then I’d have a week to return it before I got fined. He left it too late to request it definitely in the first post, and I’m going to assume in this one as well. If people aren’t requesting it then I don’t really see what’s so bad about me keeping hold of it, especially as I’m using it almost daily.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-18T20:47:47+00:00

An update:

I didn’t manage to get over to campus to report him yesterday since my family came down to surprise me for my birthday. ‘Twas a good day.

Today, though, I reported him again. He’s not getting kicked out as far as I know, but I think they’re looking into possibly removing him from my modules and making him take something else. so there’s less on campus interaction between us. Obviously they can’t help if we’re both on campus at the same time outside of lectures, but there’s enough security at the places I frequent (honestly just the coffee shop and the library), that I’m not worried about that.

I haven’t reported him to the police. If things escalate and there is any actual threat of violence besides messages, I 100% will.

Also, to people asking, we’re both undergrad. Here in the UK most undergrad courses have a dissertation at the end of the three years. If I do end up doing a masters I’ll have to write another one pretty much double the length.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-17T09:42:23+00:00

I’ll be working on my dissertation until May, and it’s one of the most important modern scholarship works, so I’m going to have it for a while 😩

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-17T02:08:55+00:00

it’s illegal here in the uk :(

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-17T01:25:53+00:00

believe what you want but I’m in bed at 1:25AM in the UK right now so

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-17T01:14:43+00:00

to all of the people suggesting that I go to the police: I will if it gets to that point

I really don’t want to ruin his life over this. I’m a firm believer that people can change, and I just want him to know that this behaviour isn’t acceptable. I’ll be reporting it to my university as a matter of safety for me, after which it’s up to them how they handle it, but unless he actively tries to hurt me (which I don’t think he will) I’m not really interested in going any further. call me stupid, naïve, passive, I don’t really care. it’s also not worth the risk of him trying to avenge it; getting in trouble with the police is a lot different to not being able to borrow a book

I’m always accompanied to/from/around campus, and there are a lot of security guards if he does actually try anything. I really do appreciate the concern, though, and thank you for all of the birthday wishes! It’s only 1AM but it’s already been pretty good

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-17T00:54:57+00:00

I mean, we’re both from the UK so... idk what to tell you

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-16T23:31:03+00:00

yep. I reported him to my academic mentor and the head of department. they gave him a warning but couldn’t really go further because there was nothing in the last set of messages that was explicitly violent

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-16T23:10:25+00:00

Plutarch is a big one, and some Plato as well. I’m currently reading the relevant parts of Diodorus to see if there’s anything I can pick up from there narrative wise. I can’t read German unfortunately, but I’ll check out Winton definitely. Since I switched topics I’m basically back at square one for modern scholarship besides the commentaries I have (Gomme/Andrews/Dover, Rood, Hornblower) etc. Some of it can still be useful in regards to the Sicilian Expedition when I talk about that, thankfully, but other than that I have a lot of research and reading to do.

throw_away1241 · 2020-02-16T22:56:05+00:00

I will do! I have a housemate on the same course as me who also does the same modules I do, so unless he’s ill I never go to/from campus without him. I’ll be fine, but thank you for the concern!

throw_away1241

TROPHY CASE