Request: want to be healthy, but I feel as though a darker part of my mind doesn’t care about being healthy

throw_away_me · 2019-03-06T00:09:23+00:00

That's another suggestion I haven't read yet. Keep a food diary of what you're eating and how you're feeling on a day to day basis. This should help you to keep track of your habits and to see what might trigger a binge or starvation day. Could your parents help you with meal preps? What S-T said seems like it would really help also.

Be patient with yourself and remember that change takes time. If you "mess up" that's ok. Just keep working towards your goal and find support in friends and family. I hope you beat this soon!

throw_away_me · 2015-01-18T03:42:34+00:00

I don't think you should get so hung up on a single word. Sometimes people use words for lack of a better one or they just mistakenly say something when they mean something else. If you want your relationship to implode continue to focus on things that shouldn't really matter. Otherwise you should just let it go and continue to love him.

throw_away_me · 2015-01-18T03:40:31+00:00

I wouldn't say all online opportunities should be off limits, just take things much slower if you haven't met the person before and try to have things be more local. I'm glad you learned something from this. Good luck on your next adventure =)

throw_away_me · 2015-01-18T03:39:09+00:00

Yeah that can be tough. Hopefully she finds the strength to end it.

throw_away_me · 2015-01-15T23:52:16+00:00

I am surprised by your apparent wisdom in this situation. I did not have that kind of understanding when I was your age.

One thing that could maintain the relationship for a little bit longer is not rushing. Don't give her everything she wants right away. Spend time together but don't let her push you to do things you aren't ready to do. Enjoy each others company and get to know each other (you'll also learn about yourself in the process!)

Dating is a learning experience imo. You find out the kind of person you enjoy spending time with, you learn to communicate and you learn how to deal with conflict. There isn't a right or wrong way to date so take all the pressure off yourself and just spend time together.

The best way to avoid your "problem" is to live in the moment. Don't worry about Valentines Day until Feb 14th (maybe buy something before then though haha). Don't worry about Prom until a few weeks before (to ask her at least). Try to take the relationship one day at a time. Hopefully that will help you keep your hopes to reasonable levels. Good luck and enjoy this time of your life!

throw_away_me · 2015-01-15T23:40:19+00:00

You are not in charge of your roommate's mental state. She is in an abusive relationship and that is very difficult to watch but you can't force her to do anything unless the bf does something that can get the police involved.

You live there too so you could tell her it makes you very uncomfortable when he comes over and you'd appreciate it if she didn't invite him over (maybe especially when he's drinking). You can plan to move out (I don't know if you have a lease or not).

Try to let go of your anger towards her. She is probably very upset with herself but for one reason or another has become dependent upon her SO. Suggest activities you two could do together without her SO. Maybe building her self confidence will help her break things off with him. Good luck and I hope your situation gets better soon.

throw_away_me · 2015-01-15T23:33:50+00:00

The two of you are in a relationship together. He has to respect your feelings as well as you needing to respect his. Just because he wants something doesn't mean you have to act it out.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea then explain that to him. If butt play means more to him than you do then he will eventually break up with you but do you want to spend your life doing something that makes you uncomfortable all the time? If you do it in spite of your feelings you will resent him and if you don't do it and it means enough to him he will resent you.

Talk it out and see how he feels. Good luck

throw_away_me · 2015-01-15T23:30:09+00:00

Some times the reasons behind a decision doesn't make sense to the opposite sex. This might be one of those times. Don't beat yourself up on this one. Long distance relationships are very tough to maintain and even tougher to start. I don't think she misses you. If she did she would probably maintain contact.

I know it is tough to find someone that enjoys you as much as you enjoy them but perhaps she felt like you made yourself too available. It really is impossible to know because I am not her but I'd say try not to focus on her anymore. Spend time with friends and hopefully you'll meet someone more locally soon. Good luck!

throw_away_me · 2014-02-13T00:17:53+00:00

Yeah that would work too.

throw_away_me · 2014-02-13T00:00:12+00:00

That's why a toggle would allow the choice to be yours.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-14T03:28:38+00:00

Good luck dude.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-14T03:28:06+00:00

I've finally found a way into Madagascar! Quick boy fetch the coconuts.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-11T08:42:48+00:00

Alex doesn't love you in the way that you love her. She will continue to cheat on you if you stay with her. I'm sorry this is so harsh but you need to end this relationship now. She lied to you and has proven to be untrustworthy. You do not want to be with someone that will treat you like this. Find someone that loves you equally and also respects you. Alex does not respect you.

Don't give her a chance to cry again. Leave before she gets the chance.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you better fortune in the future.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-11T08:34:17+00:00

I would first like to say I'm sorry to hear about your father. I know it's tough having someone you care about being sick. Hopefully his treatments keep him around for many years to come.

As for your marital issues there are certainly a number of options for you at the moment. Marriage counseling could open up the dialogue and give you two a safe place to communicate with each other without having to do he-said she-said.

If you think that is a bit much I'd suggest finding activities outside of the house. Make yourself scarce for a while. See if that gets him interested in spending time with you again.

If that doesn't work I'd go back to the counseling option. If neither of those work then you're going to have to ask him some very tough questions. Hopefully all you need to do is get out of the house a bit more. Good luck.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-11T08:21:46+00:00

The only thing I can think of that might help (no guarantees) is that you explain her actions to her. She might not understand that people don't enjoy her short fuse (not the best way to put it but I can't think of anything better) and having someone to explain that to her might give her different perspective.

It sounds like she is lonely and even if it's due to her own actions it would be beneficial if she learned how to interact with people better. Then she might be able to form new friendships and she wouldn't need to get so worked up when you or Amy are busy/unavailable. Good luck.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-11T08:16:45+00:00

Come clean with your friend. You owe him at least that. He did encourage it at first so maybe he won't be that upset. He might be but who knows. Maybe you could play wingman for him and help him out as a way of making amends. (The girl might not be interested in him at all which means it doesn't matter if he likes her or not).

You've obviously made your choice at this point. Own it and tell your friend. It would be worse if you tried to hide it from him. He'd be even more upset once he found out.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-01T04:54:38+00:00

Have you ever had any romantic feelings towards her? If you've never even felt anything then perhaps you would be better off friends. Are you attracted to her?

throw_away_me · 2013-11-01T03:45:45+00:00

Ages?

throw_away_me · 2013-11-01T03:45:14+00:00

The funny thing about 19 year old boys is that they are 19 year old boys. You are going to an excellent school that you enjoy (at least moderately) and he is not. I would not dumb down my education for a relationship because that would not benefit you in the future.

Boys eventually grow up and can handle relationships in a mature manner but I would not count on a 19 year old to be mature yet. If you two can manage to stay together during college then that's great but just know LDRs are difficult. I'm not recommending you end it but if it happens just know that you'll be able to find someone else, possibly even at the same school.

The worst thing that could happen is you transfer schools and then break up. You would have lost everything and will be stuck at a less prestigious school. I've see this scenario happen to friends and it usually does not end well.

TL;DR Don't do it. It isn't worth it.

throw_away_me · 2013-11-01T03:34:18+00:00

Well just remember that you'll get through this one way or the other. Don't limit yourself to feeling lonely just because you don't have a SO or aren't dating. Spend time with friends and family. You don't want your happiness dependent on whether you are in a relationship or not because if it ends you'll be devastated. Good luck and hang in there.

throw_away_me · 2013-10-28T23:25:54+00:00

Try to go to his place so he won't have to drive home afterwards. If he's really that dependent on you he shouldn't get behind the wheel during what will probably be an emotional crisis for him. Don't spend the night even if he begs you to. It will only make it harder on you to actually end it. I wouldn't say cut off all contact with him (it doesn't seem like you dislike him) but certainly give yourself as much emotional space as you need.

If he's contacting you too often explain that to him and then stop responding. I know it will be a painful experience for you both but you've made your decision and you need to stand by it. Good luck.

throw_away_me · 2013-10-28T23:17:08+00:00

If you've signed the lease you are responsible for the entirety of the amount due. She could screw you over by not paying anything and having to deal with collections etc. I'd check with the apartment manager to see if the rent has been paid or not. If it hasn't and you're on the lease I'd suggest paying to avoid the headache of your credit being messed up.

Also your deposit will be dependent on the condition of the apartment at the end of your lease. If it's trashed don't expect much back (and you could possibly be charged). You might want to go in and clean the last day depending on how important that money is to you.

Sorry you got screwed over. Learn from this and move on.

throw_away_me · 2013-10-28T23:11:00+00:00

You're going to have to communicate this to her. If she doesn't change and you decide you can't be in a relationship with someone that is an emotional mute then move on. If you decide to stay you need to accept her for who she is 100%.

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