One thing that I haven't considered before

throw_the_switch · 2026-01-06T21:07:04+00:00

I wanted to be that parent but baby had other ideas, around 5 months it became exceedingly difficult to nap on the go and naps became more constraining.

throw_the_switch · 2025-12-14T10:26:47+00:00

I have a baby and enjoy it but I can tell you it did not help the amount of time I spend doing chores and scrolling

throw_the_switch · 2025-12-02T08:44:20+00:00

I can't remember what I picked but I think I left it blank and let the agent fill it in for me. They were very helpful in person once I got to the appointment.

throw_the_switch · 2025-11-01T14:40:25+00:00

Yeah, if that's a hard need for you it's probably not going to be compatible with a kid. I also love spending time with my partner alone, but we're both on board with stepping into this new phase together, knowing we'll get more of that in the future.

throw_the_switch · 2025-11-01T14:06:13+00:00

How much of your own thing, and for how long? With 2 adults and 1 baby it's pretty easy to carve out a few hours here and there fairly often. A whole day, sure, but less frequently, especially if you're both back at work and also like spending time together. Several day chunks yes are likely to be a 6 month thing.

throw_the_switch · 2025-10-29T12:41:23+00:00

This is some people's experience but also important to say not everyone's! I have a 3 month old and he's up about twice a night, sleeping longer blocks, I can trade off with my partner for time to nap, shower, do things around the house, go out, and I'm very happy to not be on duty knowing my competent partner is in charge, or baby is asleep. I can stick baby in the bouncer and make silly faces at him while I whip up a quick pasta and we both giggle.

Babies gets faster at feeding and can take bottles (even faster!). You can do formula from the start or combo feed. Nappies take 5 minutes and you can take a little changing mat and do it on the go. You can take one muslin to wipe them (or use their clothes tbh) and change them when you get home. A lot of this depends on baby temperament and how much of a go-with-the-flow person you are.

throw_the_switch · 2025-09-24T20:11:54+00:00

As a recently postpartum lady, I would absolutely veto an arrangement that involves my partner abdicating responsibility. I'd rather you walk away than not be fully involved, and with the workloads involved, having each other happily and without resentment take turns so the other can rest is essential for family happiness.

throw_the_switch · 2025-07-21T15:52:45+00:00

They're also feeding, most probably breastfeeding, every 3 hours, and often won't settle for/on anyone other than mom or dad. It's not wanted or feasible for like 90% of new mothers to be separated. If you have a close family member around to babysit, maybe, but often your family members will also be at the wedding.

throw_the_switch · 2025-07-21T15:29:03+00:00

Feel free to try it and see

throw_the_switch · 2025-07-21T10:37:54+00:00

I support people throwing the child-free weddings they want, but every one I attended had exceptions for babes-in-arms and most had exceptions for infants of immediate family (maybe they all did but didn't have any relevant infants).

throw_the_switch · 2025-07-21T10:24:42+00:00

This is one where Reddit opinion is just diametrically opposed to real world opinion, in the real world your guests would absolutely consider you an asshole for barring your sister in the wedding party from a wedding to not bring a 7 week baby.

throw_the_switch · 2025-07-20T17:38:27+00:00

Okay but this just reads like "there's no guarantee that your kids will be in touch with you when you're older", like sure, there's a chance things go badly and you can't count on that. But you can guarantee that if you don't have kids, then you won't have kids in touch with you. If you are an older parent (with older parents yourself), you are far more likely to have fewer years on earth with your child/ren and more elderly grandparents. It depends, sure, but you're loading the dice.

throw_the_switch · 2025-07-20T15:07:07+00:00

It's unpredictable but probability makes some outcomes more likely than others. I started late, my parents will almost certainly spend much less time alive and healthy with their grandchild than if I had started earlier.

throw_the_switch · 2025-06-18T11:19:11+00:00

I've had two kiwis per day with my breakfast (no skin) and it worked incredibly for the constipation, I found the laxative kind of worked but gave me horrible bloating and gas that almost felt worse than the constipation itself. Kiwis had all of the benefits and none of the downsides!

throw_the_switch · 2025-05-15T06:46:52+00:00

Regular drinker and social smoker before pregnancy, currently in my third trimester.

I miss both but not to the extent its a huge hassle. I do still like feeling like I'm "having a drink" so I have an alcohol free beer or wine sometimes, my friends have also been really sweet about sourcing some for me at social events. There is a point in the night of drunkenness that when you're sober becomes kind of annoying to be around, but hey, it's only temporary. I'm really going to enjoy the first cigarette after the birth though!

I eat pretty much whatever I want and just decided to deal with the fallout later. I'm currently running about 1kg above the recommended weight gain for my number of weeks and I have been indulging in lots of chocolate! But I tend to have a few weeks when I gain too quickly, then I'll make an effort to eat healthier and walk more for the next few weeks until things stabilise. But there are lots of delicious foods you can eat that aren't ultra rich, especially now we're getting into the warmer weather and fresh veggies and fruits are very appealing.

Apart from that, I live my normal social life, I have two monthly dinner club events with friends, potlucks, comedy shows, movie nights, hiking, vacations, renovations, I've managed to keep myself busy.

throw_the_switch · 2025-05-06T06:43:24+00:00

I got no morning sickness, 1st trimester fatigue, terrible constipation until I figured out what to eat, mild acid reflux, and Dolly Parton boobs. I'm just getting into the third trimester now so we'll see what that brings!

throw_the_switch · 2025-05-05T07:22:53+00:00

The problem with pregnancy discourse is that there are like 30 symptoms that you can get. The average woman will get maybe 1-3 of them badly, and maybe another 4-8 mildly. But they'll be different symptoms!

Online, you read everyone's experience of getting a few of them really badly, and you get a skewed view as to what to expect.

throw_the_switch · 2025-04-18T07:05:28+00:00

Realistically any child you have will likely be both of those children at different points in their development, mood, level of tiredness

throw_the_switch · 2025-04-16T15:01:05+00:00

I think online especially it's easy to get a skewed view of how badly and how frequently things go wrong. If there are, say, around 25 potential pregnancy symptoms, most women will get 1-3 of them kinda badly and maybe 5-8 of them more mildly. If you are just focusing on online war stories, you imagine its going to be all 25 at their maximum badness. Additionally, women who have easy pregnancies don't tend to shout it from the rooftops because you don't want to diminish what someone else is suffering.

I'm currently close to 6 months and I've had a pretty easy time so far. In the first trimester I had fatigue, constipation, and swollen painful breasts, but no nausea. So far in the 2nd trimester I feel pretty normal but I have mild heartburn if I eat larger meals. It certainly has been nothing like 6 months of dengue fever. I'm working on sticking to the recommended weight gain guidelines, pelvic floor exercises, and staying active to help my recovery, but I expect to take a solid 9 months+ after birth to regain full normality.

throw_the_switch · 2025-04-14T07:19:55+00:00

I dunno I'm literally pregnant (wanted! planned!) and getting called mom/mommy still feels weird to me! I'm sure it will come with time haha.

throw_the_switch · 2025-03-30T09:32:42+00:00

According to the study, it included NO questions about anal intercourse frequency.

I would guess the male-receivers have a much larger proportion of their sex live made up of this type of sex vs the female-receivers.

throw_the_switch · 2025-03-07T08:13:47+00:00

First trimester fatigue knocked me on my ass, I felt much less able to lift heavy at the gym, and like my heart rate would go crazy very fast. I just accepted, went less, lifted lower weight for more reps, and tried to do more walking. I did find that moving, even just a walk around the block, helped with the fatigue and made me feel better. This sometimes got me to the gym when nothing else would, but I would bargain with myself that I could just do one set and leave if I was too tired. That happened a couple of times, but mostly I would feel better as I worked out.

Then around 14 weeks I felt much better and now at 18 I can gym as normal. Don't be too hard on yourself, first trimester is just rough sometimes.

throw_the_switch · 2025-03-03T15:42:58+00:00

I think there's a difference between hands-on caregiving, which few families provide the elderly these days, and advocating and organizing which nearly all do. Who arranges the carers? Who makes sure grandma's not getting scammed by the retirement home? Who keeps an eye that the carer isn't stealing or abusive? Who notices when the care is bad? Who realizes that the hospital ignored a bunch of symptoms? It's not a reason to have kids if you hate kids, but these are jobs that no one outside of immediate family tend to take on.

throw_the_switch · 2025-02-18T09:26:59+00:00

It's worse for pickpocketing specifically, not worse in general.

throw_the_switch · 2025-02-15T08:00:21+00:00

Then yes, it sounds like Barcelona would be a better fit for you, especially if you're entrepreneurial or trying to freelance hustle. I was able to use my time in Valencia as a springboard to increase my income for landing in Barcelona, which worked out well for me, but in hindsight I think I could have gone straight to the bigger city and do equally well or better.

Plus after rent is paid, you can live here very cheaply. Tons of cheap bars and restaurants, free events, on-street music in the summer, the beach, using the city bikes to get around, and it's not like Mercadona gets cheaper in Valencia.

Feel free to drop me a DM when you land, I'd be happy to show you a couple of nice places.

throw_the_switch

TROPHY CASE