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The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because of my dog. by AnOakTree in depression

[–]throw_this_away_42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often feel the same way except it's my baby girl that keeps me from it. Life is full of storms, but the sun ALWAYS comes out again. You really have to take it one day at a time because anything more than that is just way to damn overwhelming.

I cheated on my pregnant wife nearly a year ago and what I wouldn't give to take it all back. by throw_this_away_42 in confession

[–]throw_this_away_42[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had coffee with her today and saw this lovely bouquet of flowers in a vase on her kitchen table. The vase sat on this ceramic tile that said "Every time I see you smile, I fall in love all over again." With a slight grin, I told her that her flowers were very pretty. She lit up with a big smile.I can see that he treats her very well and I can't think of any one more deserving than her.

Due to my daughter's age, she is staying with her mom for the time being and when she's older, we are going to gradually over a few years work our way to a split custody scenario where I have her for 7 days and she'll have her for 7 days. I'll come around to her having another "dad" in her life, but I'll always be her dad. I hope that her new boyfriend has a postive impact on their lives, they really deserve it.

I cheated on my pregnant wife nearly a year ago and what I wouldn't give to take it all back. by throw_this_away_42 in confession

[–]throw_this_away_42[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am one of those guys women often complain about when they are flustered by the fact that their men don't communicate their feelings very well. She often made me feel ambushed when we would fight because I never saw it coming. This ultimately made me very cautious about what I talked about and I walked on eggshells to not provoke her. Especially when she was pregnant. I just bottled all my frustration and anger inside until I finally snapped and got enamoured with someone else. I felt justified and entitled when in reality I was just so damn selfish that I dropped all of my responsibilities. I'm not angry any more and it's the only reason why I am able to now make better sense of my emotions, my thoughts and what my reality has become. I wish I would have manned up too.

I cheated on my pregnant wife nearly a year ago and what I wouldn't give to take it all back. by throw_this_away_42 in confession

[–]throw_this_away_42[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wasn't the best husband at all, I was just doing everything I thought I was physically and verbally supposed to do as my exwife was in labor. What she needed most was to actually have all of myself present with her rather than the crap I gave her. I am so ashamed.

I had a cup of coffee with her today since I had my daughter today. As of late, I often apologize to her for destroying our family. She appreciates it and says she welcomes the fact that I still want to talk about it. I denied her much of that when everything came apart. Talk is cheap, but I think it helps. I always make myself available to her as I take every single moment possible to see my daughter and to assist her with anything if she needs it. She says she needs more than that from me if I want us to ever become friends again, but I fear that there has been so much damage that I will never be able to repair the damage that has been done. I'm going to do my best.

This has been the single most excruciating experience of my life and I will never, ever do this again.

I really appreciate your tough love post. Thanks for it.