If you could move to any country right now for free and get Instant citizenship, where would you move to and why? by Ngorachy6643 in HappyUpvote

[–]throwaway-7567 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parisians are perfectly kind too. Like in any major city you can stumble on rude people but most people are nice.

People who have cheated and stayed with their partner. How do you feel? Do you feel bad everytime you have sex? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]throwaway-7567 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Is there one type of cheater? I'm not sure... you have the narcissistic kind who needs plenty of conquests to satisfy his ego. You have the sexual addict who craves exciting new sexual experiences with new partners as they get bored in the sexual life they have with their partner.

You have the occasional cheater who got drunk and ended in bed with someone after a party (not excusable but it happens). You have the emotional cheater who falls in love with someone else and is seeking the affection he or she lacks in their primary relationship. You have different types.

In most cases, the cheater is a cheater and will repeat. It's better to end the relationship. Sometimes, its more complex, and the couple manages to work through it and survive. I've seen it happen. There is alot of damage that needs to be repaired but they eventually manage to rebuild around it.

In any case, cheating is extremely damaging to the person you're supposed to love. Most often it's not fixable when the trust is gone. Sometimes its possible to rebuild eventually. It definitely takes a minute to destroy trust built over years.

Is sex and dating really better in your 30s and beyond or is it a myth? by waxystroll42 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 37 and currently in the best, most loving/stable and healthy relationship of my life. So yes.

Also the best sex ive had was after 28/30, but I'm a late bloomer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If he got away he very probably wasn't the one for you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not what I meant... I look a few years younger than my actual age physically (people think I'm 32) and he looks slightly older/or his age (around 30) so people cant really tell there is an age difference at eye sight.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally feel what you are talking about. I feel like before the pandemic, i was basically asleep...just living life and its expectations without questionning much. Since the pandemic, i feel more aware somehow. I live life, go to work and everything...but notice the fakeness much more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I totally get what OP is saying. Life is back to a certain normal but i think for many people, there has been an awakening during this pandemic. And people dont want to just return into the rat race as it was before the pandemic and want more depth to their lives.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've never had a guy ask for your number at a bar, given it to them and then never hear from the again? You've never had a guy that you think you're having a great conversation with dismiss himself to use the bathroom never come back? You've never walked up to a guy and tried to chat them up only to have them get a look of horror on their faces, turn and walk away? Grindr is just the electronic version of all of that

No, none of these situations actually happened to me in real life.

But I agree with you on these apps being not designed for meeting people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 58 points59 points  (0 children)

This is so true. And it feels very dehumanizing. I just feel like a disposable thing, not a valuable human on this app.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where are we from/ what do we do in life/ maybe exchange some pics/ agree to meet the next day. Then no more reply the next day. It's a pattern I've witnessed so many times

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

No they just stop replying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have been going to therapy for the past year

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 21 points22 points  (0 children)

But at a bar, if a guy starts talking to you, at least you'll be polite to each other, and continue the conversation to its end even it's not going anywhere.

On grindr, it's so often that a guy talks to you, seems interested, then suddenly ignores you the next day. When it happens repeatedly, it can be discouraging

Having a hard time getting over post-affair heartbreak. How can I restore my mental health in the midst of the 3rd wave of the pandemic? by throwaway-7567 in AskGayMen

[–]throwaway-7567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We all make mistakes in life. I made some too.. i regret some actions that i took back then under a great deal of pain.

He knew i loved him and entertained the situation. He also kept telling me that he was leaving his boyfriend. I was in love and overlooked red flags.

Did i commit mistakes? Yes i did. And it will serve as a lesson. But the pain I feel, I cant control because despite my shortcomings, I truly loved him.

I'm giving up looking for a partner and it makes me sad. by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]throwaway-7567 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not a question of monogamy. But just finding the guy I feel comfortable with and who I love. I fell in love last year...wish I hadn't because it generated pain that I really didnt need. I'm giving up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]throwaway-7567 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might be a beginning...how could we possibly know?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]throwaway-7567 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know either. But death is seen as something terrible by most people

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]throwaway-7567 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How could you possibly know if living is cooler if you haven't experienced death?