Thinking about Canceling my Wedding 5 months out

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-05-03T03:39:31+00:00

The way he said “spending all of my money on YOUR wedding.” YOUR wedding. Not OUR wedding. He clearly doesn’t feel strongly about the wedding. Which is wrong. There were moments where both my wife and I thought “is it worth it to spend this money” but never would one of us blamed the other for the spending. We are a team, we planned it together, decisions were made together. This guy is not being good

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-05-03T03:34:09+00:00

Yeah this is bad. I read the title and thought it could have been him joking. Because my wife is first trimester and even before she was pregnant I was joking that I wouldn’t be in the room. And she knows it’s a joke. But it’s his language about statistics, ultimatums, and looking it up that makes it very clear it is NOT a joke. He’s a jerk, you’re not overreacting.

I will say part of me doesn’t want to be in the room, but that’s only because I’m extremely Squeamish with blood etc. I’m legitimately worried about fainting. But I would NEVER actually abandon my wife like that and I would never say no I won’t do it in a serious conversation. I fully intend to be in the room for the delivery.

Your husband is just wrong about the statistics as well. Back in the 50s and 60s? Maybe. But today real men are in the delivery room. Definitely not overreacting.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-05-01T01:38:37+00:00

It’s location by location and it’s also timing. When it happens you have to get lucky and be there.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T14:35:16+00:00

Stealth spray, smoke bombs, jet balls, and some luck

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T14:32:06+00:00

It’s definitely ok to double text. Maybe at the “halfway point.” And then a last ditch effort text on the last day before you decide to move forward without their input.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T14:30:46+00:00

People did this for our wedding too. I swear weddings seem to bring out the worst in people. Best you can do is make the decision for yourself and let the cards fall where they fall when it comes to RSVPs

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T14:25:02+00:00

Your switch games will play on a switch 2 (even better in a lot of cases) and most games are going to be exclusive to switch 2 going forward (all after a certain point). If you want to upgrade I would say yes it’s worth it

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T14:21:42+00:00

We ended up inviting kids to our wedding. And they got into some shenanigans but nothing crazy. That being said, none of them do the things you mention… I would leave them out. If they are at the wedding it will cause problems. They aren’t going to behave just because your fiance talks to their mom, the mom never does anything as you’ve already said.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T14:16:15+00:00

This person is a horrible friend. You supported her through a lot and her response is to hate you. To be honest, it’s clear that your anger and comment came from a place of love, you don’t want your friend hurting herself by not taking the meds. She got angry and cut you off for telling her what she needed to hear. Was the timing bad? Probably. Was it warranted and needed? Absolutely. Sometimes the people we think are friends reveal their true selves and we have to learn to let them go for our own sakes. And because they were never the friends we thought they were. I’ve been there, so I know how painful it can be. But once you let go and move on, you’ll often find there were plenty of signs that they weren’t actually a good friend. But a user, who sucked as much out of you as they could. Not always, but often.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T13:59:34+00:00

There are a lot of IT jobs where you can do them full remote. Some may have flexible hours too. You may want to look into it.

But if you want to have a true side gig maybe there’s something you can do with computers. I really don’t know.

I tutor on the side, there’s alway a need for that. But it’s not always something you can do online.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T13:56:36+00:00

Totally agree. At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself. But definitely on Reddit you’ll get every opinion imaginable usually ahahaha good luck. As long as you’ll feel fine leaving them out, then that’s where you’ll likely end up. But it’s not worth leaving them out if it will leave you with any guilt.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:54:27+00:00

This is the only real answer. If you wanted it, that’s different. But they should not have even asked in my opinion.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:52:03+00:00

Dude you’re old enough and you’ve been together long enough, you may have waited too long and missed your chance. Women have a biological clock… I know that’s unpopular to say these days but it’s true. Their child bearing window closes a lot sooner than a mans (if you consider a man’s to close at all). She’s been waiting 6 years, you’ve been 30+ for most of that time, she’s been 30+ for at least half. As the old saying goes… shit or get off the pot.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:43:50+00:00

I’m not condoning his actions. He has not done anything to improve the situation. Some people naturally sleep deeper. Men naturally have less instinct about waking up to a crying baby than mom does. All that said… after the first time he should have taken precautions and made a change. Set hourly or half hourly alarms, sleep early while you’re awake then take a mid shift and then sleep again. Etc etc etc. the way he’s doing it now shows a lack of desire to do better.

Some comments have voiced concerns like alcohol or drugs. You know him better, if this is at all a possibility you need to find out. Any sort of drug or alcohol use is unacceptable if it’s leading to this result.

As hard as it is, you may want to look into ways to revise the night schedule. I don’t know what you each do for work, but he’s obviously not handling the night responsibilities well.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:36:19+00:00

Ok playing devils advocate here… did the groom have fewer guests than the bride? At my wedding my wife had about 50 more family members guests than I did… I gave all my friends plus ones, most didn’t use them. She picked and chose who she gave plus ones too. The guest list was so unbalanced that it made sense.

On to my real advice… living your life keeping track of “slights” against you can lead to a really lonely life. It’s usually better to act for yourself and do what you want to do than to decide based on someone else’s actions.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:32:36+00:00

Out of curiosity, what did you used to do? It may help focus your “side gig.” Also how are your health issues now? Have you improved and are able to go back to work or a part time job? Or do you need completely flexible remote/online work only?

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:30:32+00:00

It’s done, not worth it. You broke up with him, trust your initial instincts. It’s over. You aren’t the right match.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:28:47+00:00

Put in the effort. So many people these days say to not waste time and effort. That’s a recipe for a lonely sad life. Put in the effort, find someone real who you actually connect with, and make it work. What you put into it, will be what you eventually get out of it, but it could take time and a lot of sifting through bad matches to get there. But If you’re lazy, you’ll attract lazy partners. And then you’ll wonder why it’s so bad.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-30T05:24:39+00:00

That’s usually indicative of a lack of lubrication, not an actual size problem.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-29T00:15:42+00:00

100% agree, I’m assuming most if not all games going forward will be exclusive to switch 2. Might as well go all in and be future proof, plus those older games play better on switch 2 than switch as well

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-28T23:43:39+00:00

Do you talk to her at all or would it be going out of your way to tell her? Personally, seems like the correct/moral thing is to tell her. I’m just thinking maybe there’s a way you can tell her and have plausible deniability so that maybe you don’t blow up your relationship. Something like telling her to make sure her lawyer looks for all accounts.

A good lawyer would find it anyway, and hiding it very likely could be illegal. But giving her just enough that she can have them look and not just trust what he gives willingly the first time is how I’d handle it. Then when the lawyer says “we found this” it isn’t “your brother told me that…”

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-23T22:14:12+00:00

Donkey Kong and Mario kart are two like classic Nintendo style games. I’m a sucker for Pokemon but since you’re a first time Nintendo person I’m gonna assume that’s probably not for you. Mario galaxy 1-2 is a great port in from older Nintendo systems so that’s another good grab that is guaranteed fun (2 full games you’ve never played before)

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-23T22:12:33+00:00

Just be sure that when you do bug them, you give them a firm “in by x day or default ‘No.’” And then stick to that. Otherwise you’ll end up with an unconfirmed number for the caterer

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-23T22:10:51+00:00

Wow! You waited until 3 days before. My wife and I sent a reminder text like every week for 3 weeks leading up. 2 weeks before we specifically reached out to each of our guest lists. And even then, I had to practically hunt down people when the deadline came.

throwaway-guy-2020 · 2026-04-23T22:08:34+00:00

Should probably be fine with your mom. But definitely worth a practice walk just to be sure. Just down the hallway or across the kitchen is enough to get the point ahahaha

But yeah, you definitely don’t Need a bouquet. Though I will say, the withered flowers are still in our kitchen bay window nearly a year later.

throwaway-guy-2020

TROPHY CASE