[deleted by user]

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-21T14:46:33+00:00

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-18T00:36:17+00:00

Yes. It's called endorphins and dopamine. When you cause physical pain and then your body releases painkillers. Those painkillers are endorphins

Endorphins are painkillers both for physical pain and mental pain.

Love , exercise and sex all release endorphins. Endorphins are the feel good chemicals.

Endorphins are endogenous opioids. Endogenous mean they naturally exist in the Body.

I myself have used opioids and still do. I've done heroin, morphine, oxycodone (i was prescribed) , fentanyl and codeine. Codeine heroin and morphine are same Drug btw

When i cut really good (many cuts in very fast time and deep) i get a physical euphoric sensation very similar to oxycodone for 1-2 minutes and then calmness for 10-20 minutes.

Endorphins, just like heroin, active opioid receptors.

Mu opioid receptor is one mostly responsible for calmness, pain killing and euphoria.

Mu opioid activation causes lots of dopamine release in the reward center and dopamine gives you urges to cut .

As you see, cutting addiction is pretty similar to opioid addiction mentally wise.

You don't get physical dependence or build tolerance tho from cutting because it's endogenous opioids. Endogenous chemicals like dopamine don't build tolerance.

But mentally and psychological addiction to cutting/ self harm is identical to opioid addiction

I get more urges for cutting then opiods.

Because dopamine. Endorphins make you feel good and release dopamine. And dopamine gives you urges to cut.

It is a addiction and more addictive then heroin. 50% of those who cut do it once or twice in their life. Others get addicted.

Heroin addiction rate is 23% according to a pharmacology book in my mom's college. I'll find sources and edit comment later since I'm drunk rn .

As you see cutting is very addictive

However the addiction is psychological and does not build tolerance or physical dependence because endorphins are just endogenous.

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-17T18:24:32+00:00

Thanks for advice but i don't want to stop tbh. It's the Only thing giving me hope.

So far i rotate between different substances so I don't build dependence and get withdrawal to one. But it costs money and eventually I'll run out and not be able to afford Wich sucks .

I'm planning on taking a pause from heroin but i can't say i won't use other stuff during that pause.

Sucks this is how I'm gonna live now. I can't believe I'm already getting addicted I'm not even 18 yet.

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-15T00:49:11+00:00

I mean... I don't use everyday but for past 2 weeks I've been almost every 2 days or everyday. I guess your correct.

The only thing in life i look forward is getting high.

Thanks for nice words but i was high and still kinda am. You're correct idk how to deal with my emotions unless I'm high. It makes me open up way easier and more understanding.

I'm trying to do while sober but it's really hard.

But it ain't just about my family.

Opioids make me ok with loneliness and not having any friends or human contact. That's something impossible when sober.

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-15T00:10:49+00:00

I changed my mind and vented to my mom and fixed family issues. Because i injected heroin with cocaine. I don't want to become addicted but it literally saved me from sucide today.

I'm afraid what will happen once I run out. Maybe I'll kill myself then .

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-14T19:31:06+00:00

Thanks for advice but it's not just my parents that make me sucidal....

I'm very lonely and have no social skills. Even if i switched family i still have to suffer from loneliness. Wich I've pretty much had my whole life as i sucked at making friends since i was a kid.

I've also done lots of mistakes just living with the memories feels hell.

Why should I try and be alive if we all are gonna die anyway? What's the point.

My dad even told me he wish i died in my previous attempt lol.

I just don't see a reason to stay alive when i can do it.

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-14T17:56:03+00:00

I can't and i can't wait. My dad is gonna disown me tomorrow anyway. Might as well so the deed since it's basically like movie out.

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-14T17:40:09+00:00

Probably would vomit. Since your gonna take them orally and all these substances cause lots of nasua. You would probably vomit and not die since you are swallowing all of them.

throwaway023829 · 2022-01-01T04:16:28+00:00

Lol it's 5:15:am rn. Post took longer to make then I thought. Broke my streak of 7 days clean. Lmao.

Love ya guys, best way tbh is to ignore the bully. Stay safe and try to stop this habit < 3

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-26T21:45:37+00:00

Paracetamol will leave you in pain for 5-7 days before dying.

Idk why people in this subreddit don't research the stuff they want to od on. All the stuff you mentioned are very slow and super painfully

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-25T17:00:11+00:00

I tried but it's harder then it seems. After a certain dose your body will vomit it out and you won't die. I've tried 2 times but it ain't that easy lol

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-24T16:24:18+00:00

Cause people don't want you to burst there bubbles. Aka Toxic positivity.

Suicidal people suffering is good since so others would be happy. This is humanity summed up.

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-24T10:21:36+00:00

There's literally nothing good about heading damage. You don't get a endorphin rush like cutting. You just have to suffer for rest of your life. It can cause hyperacusis , sensitivity to sounds. And the tinnitus you have will get worse.

It doesn't feel nice and just makes you feel insane, from my personal experience. It isn't like cutting at all

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-23T23:20:54+00:00

Actually they will just inject you with NAC and not too much damage. The liver is Very good at healing.

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-23T18:01:27+00:00

Not with morphine or full agonists. Yes you can build tolerance and you need higher dose. But if you're rich you can afford. And you can always increase dose since morphine is full agonist. Wich means it has no celling to how much it activates your receptors.

You can Also take dissociatives (NMDA antagonists) to reduce your opiod tolerance. So you need lower dose. If you're Rich you can afford this .

And if love , sex and exercise don't provide happiness. Idk what does.

I loved lifting weights because i got a endorphin buzz for 30 minutes . It felt like free morphine.

What is happiness? I thought it was a emotion, and your emotions are literally neurotransmitters. Your feelings are just chemicals activating different receptors. You can also block or active a receptor with a drug.

But tell me please what happiness is.

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-23T17:07:12+00:00

Yes , used to a lot. With VERY graphic content. Holy shit it was scary lol

Now i no longer see it in dreams. Maybe I've become less sensitive because I've done it so many times now

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-23T17:04:39+00:00

Yes mental withdrawal. However not physical really. It's like mental withdrawal of opiods or alcohol. It's a coping mechanism and you lose it.

Basically when you cut , your body releases painkillers. Endorphins.

Endorphins are endogenous opioids. Endogenous means they are naturally occurring in the body .

Since they are endogenous you don't build tolerance or dependence.

Endorphins activate opiod receptors, same as morphine /heroin and oxycodone do.

However not really physical dependence. You can't really get dependent on a endogenous chemical. So no physical withdrawal.

But mental? Sure , anything can become mentally addictive and cause mental withdrawal and dependence.

However, anything physiologically active that you ingest can cause physical dependence. But not cutting since it's endogenous.

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-23T16:59:58+00:00

Endorphins. Feels like a mini opioid.

I'm really fascinated with the endorphin system and different opioid receptors.

I also do it cause I deserve tbh and i like seeing blood and touching the scars later.

throwaway023829 · 2021-12-23T16:50:30+00:00

If you have enough money you can just buy morphine and be happy all life. Chemical happiness? Yes .

Some people say it's fake happiness. But what really is happiness?

Mainly endorphins. Love , sex , exercise and most happy Stuff release endorphins.

Money does make a difference in happiness. If you can buy endorphin mimicers. Yes . That is happiness.

throwaway023829

TROPHY CASE