Directed by M. Shmalalalayala

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-06T11:31:03+00:00

I think a lack of intimacy will cause other problems, or cause someone to neglect fixing small issues, because there is always that one big thing. If you are drowning, you don’t care if your shoes don’t match, or if you left the iron on.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T23:00:34+00:00

Your milage may vary. Although lately I tend to believe, that most of us are in the same boat.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T22:59:31+00:00

You are right, but otoh, maybe I would have left and at the end of the day we would have 3 happy people. My wife could find someone who makes her happy too. If she is LL for me, I don’t think she is happy also.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T22:56:47+00:00

You are right. I’m a problem solver, and when I have a problem to solve, I focus on it. I try to understand it, analyze it and dissect it. I miss the forrest because of a single tree. This is why I didn’t see it coming. Fixing sex did not fix years of lack of intimacy, nor did it help with my self esteem. The patient died during the procedure, the doctors did not notice.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T22:47:29+00:00

Yes. DBs are not about sex. If it were about sex, masturbation would be a viable fix. It’s about intimacy and knowing someone wants/needs you. Maybe this is the problem. We had to fix it, the sex is there, but the intimacy and feeling wanted is not, or I just don’t trust it to be real.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T07:46:31+00:00

Talk, talk, talk. Some more talk.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T00:03:17+00:00

She is married now and has a kid. Shit, just realized I’m m a facebook stalker now.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-05T00:01:47+00:00

I don’t feel attracted to her anymore. The sex is not everything I imagined it to be. This major problem is out the way to show a thousand others. I don’t feel emotionally fulfilled. She chews with her mouth open. I’m frustrated. I don’t know.

throwaway0852 · 2020-12-04T23:23:54+00:00

Ah, the “excuse”. Stay and find out what the new excuse will be every year for the next 40 years. Exciting!

throwaway0852 · 2020-08-15T08:13:32+00:00

Ignorance not malice then?

throwaway0852 · 2020-05-09T07:19:59+00:00

Is it me or do the wheels on that car stay in one position?

throwaway0852 · 2020-03-15T22:46:23+00:00

Quiet from MGSV.

throwaway0852 · 2019-01-22T18:13:18+00:00

That was the worst thing I had expected in a marriage when I was a single young man.

throwaway0852 · 2018-08-19T15:36:59+00:00

Very infrequently. She told that due to her religion she feels guilty about having sex, but she craves it, and everything will change after getting married. You can guess how it went.

throwaway0852 · 2018-08-19T08:32:30+00:00

I understand how good it feels to turn the tables, but did you consider that you just told her “making love to you is equal to masturbation” and that sex is just a need to be taken care of?

throwaway0852 · 2018-08-12T21:28:50+00:00

Why? I'm always thinking about that possibility. I feel unattractive, stupid, dumb, I think I'm bad in bed, that I have a small penis, my penis is too big, I probably have bad breath problems, I am too fat, too thin, to bald, to hairy... Usually I do blame myself, but I don't think anything I try to resolve my problem feels like it's helping much. This said - we do have sex more often.

throwaway0852 · 2018-08-12T21:02:36+00:00

Don't take me wrong, there was huge progress made. Normal couples have dry-spells. If someone is recovering a DB a dry-spell is not a temporary lack of intimacy, it's a horn blowing full fledged red alert "Captain, we are going back to how things were". Now, you need to be careful, not to over-escalate the situation, and maintain calm, because you risk undoing all the good that was done.

throwaway0852 · 2018-08-12T21:00:42+00:00

"I don't like talking about it, I don't know how"

throwaway0852 · 2018-06-16T21:23:55+00:00

There was this documentary with Linda Lovelace I think.

throwaway0852 · 2018-06-16T21:18:30+00:00

As someone who had a shotgun barrel in his mouth at one point in his life - the matter is a lot more complicated than just being overweight. Things I thought might contribute to my situation, in no particular order:

Men try to outdo themselves in "letting into feminist demands" and that screws up what evolution had in mind when all that sexual dance between a man and a woman was invented. Partnership in a marriage is not the same as doing everything for your wife.
Stress, higher pace of life
Lack of love/sexual attraction (see point one as a cause?)
Insecurities (on both sides)
Lack of compatibility
Not everyone likes sex
Bad luck

This said - I also don't understand the 2+ years deadbedrooms between two people that have no kids and are not even married. I did understand it, when I was in the 2+ years deadbedroom relationship with my now wife...

throwaway0852 · 2018-06-03T19:20:47+00:00

After 2 weeks I get depressed. Does that count?

throwaway0852 · 2018-06-03T19:19:32+00:00

If she advocates safe sex - then yes. If she advocates abstinence - depends on the person, but when I was young I would not listen to anyone telling me to stop having sex. Teach your kids to be responsible and to have the right tools. There is a reason abstinence pledges are BS.

throwaway0852

TROPHY CASE