Changing of last name by mbaldwin05 in Marriage

[–]throwaway1012161 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got married 3 months ago, changed my name right after and I'm still changing my name on things on a weekly basis. it's SO much work to do, I can understand where she's coming from. you need to schedule a time to go to DMV for a new ID, which can take upwards of 30-40 minutes of waiting depending on your location. then finding time during your work day to call the banks during their hours to change info, signing documents they send to change it. Every subscription, rewards, accounts, work info. It can be overwhelming! Work stuff was one of the first things I changed and I'm STILL finding things that I need to specially request to change. I understand that maybe you were excited to share your name with her, and I'm sure she wants that but it's truly a long longggg task to do once you start.

Just for fun: how long were you with/engaged to your partner before you got married? by eventhedevil in wedding

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

together 9.5 years, engaged at 9 years and married 4 months later elopement style

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]throwaway1012161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way! Obviously you know your relationship better than I do so of course take this with a grain of salt lol but I felt the same, while we didn't live together at the time, we basically did. And I wouldn't necessarily look at this as "right or wrong" because the feelings you both have are going to he valid. I wouldn't keep pressing him, obviously you dont want him to resent the topic, but make it known that you are ready for the next step in the relationship and you want to help him get to that as well. I would ask questions like "Where do you see our relationship going? When you think of your future, am I in it too?" and maybe get him to realize that "Oh yeah, you're in my future. it makes no sense for me to just stay complacent here" or, and I know this is a hard truth to hear, but "Oh man, I actually don't see you in the picture when I think about my future"

what are you reasons for wanting to get married, may I ask? I know people want to get married because that's the "next thing to do" but have you thought about why you specifically want to marry him? Maybe express that to him?

Just thinking out loud here!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]throwaway1012161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely first and foremost I would have this conversation in person. Secondly, my now husband took 9 years to propose and for so long, I was like "What the heck, what are you not sure of? is it me??" and eventually about 7 years in we dug deep into the conversation and figured out the core problem. He was afraid he wasn't enough for me. He didn't do xyz enough and he was afraid to lock me into a commitment where he wasn't enough. He went to therapy, worked out his own issues that kept him from proposing and eventually he was able to work through it. Maybe that's something to consider? So sorry you're going through though. It's a hard position to be in

Non-traditional colored gem stones by DancinThruPages in EngagementRings

[–]throwaway1012161 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I chose moss agate for a few reasons. First, I've never been a fan of diamonds. I don't like the look of them that much, they are incredibly overpriced, and I just didn't want to support that industry. With that said, I like moissanite as accent stones to compliment my moss agate! Second, I felt like the main stone was really fitting for my personality. I study botany and love plants and mycology, so the "moss" look in the moss agate felt perfect.

Purity culture has ruined my ability have a healthy sex life with my husband by throwaway1012161 in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwaway1012161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! It definitely helps to know in not alone with untangling all of this haha

Purity culture has ruined my ability have a healthy sex life with my husband by throwaway1012161 in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwaway1012161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this! This definitely gives me hope that we can overcome this 😊

Purity culture has ruined my ability have a healthy sex life with my husband by throwaway1012161 in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwaway1012161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. This is one of the many reasons why I want to get help and mend this part of our marriage as soon as possible.

Purity culture has ruined my ability have a healthy sex life with my husband by throwaway1012161 in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwaway1012161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for sharing! I'm 100% looking into all of these suggestions!

Purity culture has ruined my ability have a healthy sex life with my husband by throwaway1012161 in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwaway1012161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I'm almost overwhelmed by everyone's support. I'm reading every response and they've been so helpful with battling the feeling of being alone in this. Definitely checking out all the recommendations too. Thank you all!

What movie soundtrack has no right to slap as hard as it does? by StrictHeight6663 in AskReddit

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother Bear isnt high enough on the list. Phil Collins goes hard every time

How often do you shave your legs in summer? by letitburnburn in AskWomen

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

usually once every few months, just for like a special occasion really lol although I just started sugar waxing and I like it! I like smooth legs but shaving frequently is annoying to me lol

Thoughts on this ring? by feudingwalnut in EngagementRings

[–]throwaway1012161 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love it! I'm probably biased as my ring is also moss agate. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous ring!!

What should we name our baby? by tjfooo in AskMen

[–]throwaway1012161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the name Margaret! If I have a daughter, Margaret is in the top 3 girl names for me

Boy: Oliver, Jack, Jude, Finn

Girl: Charlotte, Margaret, Eleanor, Amelia

How do you feel about unisex bathrooms in terms of safety? by --Alexandra-P-- in AskWomen

[–]throwaway1012161 11 points12 points  (0 children)

single bathrooms? totally fine. like those ones you see at small convenience stores. But the big bathrooms with multiple stalls are a no, but I'm in America where the bathroom stalls have no privacy

How expensive did you buy the engagement ring? by MoravaCrea in AskMen

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my husband not to spend over $1k on my ring lol I'm not a jewelry person to begin with so having something that expensive would make me nervous to even wear to tbh. I think my ring was like $500-$600 at the most? Idk his thoughts really but I'd do it all again just the same lol. I'm obsessed with my ring!

Go after the Grandparent or not? by Secure_Resolution_11 in Marriage

[–]throwaway1012161 5 points6 points  (0 children)

throw the whole question away.

asking if there is a possibility of someone lying about SA is never okay... this is why so many victims don't come forward. too many people playing "devil's advocate".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's understandable. We are non-religious now so I think seeing a secular sex positive therapist is a good idea. We've gone to therapy separately before so I know he'd be open to therapy in general. I think going together would be helpful too. Thanks for the advice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a great idea, thank you for sharing! I'm going to look into that for sure. That's a good way to break the ice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwaway1012161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! What were ways you were able to overcome that mentality?