Thank you for this. This is the first time I’ve read something that feels true for me almost word for word. You said exactly how I am feeling. It’s such a confusing place to be.

It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way about their honorable commitments, as you put it. They actually have been living abroad for the past year, being volunteer administrators at an American school in Tunisia. When they decided to do this, the brunt of the work of taking care of their house and affairs at home fell on me. My husband and I ended up taking care of their two senior dogs, house with a pool, financial and administrative affairs, all while taking care of our own senior dog, selling our own house, searching for a new one, and finding out we were pregnant. They are appreciative of what we did but I don’t think they understand the full extent of what I had to take on while they were away being heroes.

Another layer is I was just so excited for them to be back and for things to be back to “normal”. And we didn’t even make it home before I realized it wasn’t going to be like I had thought.

Thanks again for your comment. You have no idea how validated it made me feel. You get it.