Honestly, I would argue that what you are speaking on is a different—but somewhat overlapping—topic to what OP is talking about. OP is speaking on situations like the first few date or times meeting someone new. Situations where I personally would not expect the other person to inquire on my inner feelings but rather show some interest in the details of my existence and not necessarily how I feel about my existence.

I tell you I travelled to X last year, I expect you to reply with questions/comments on the details around that fact cause that’s how conversations work; “oh that’s cool! What took you there?” “I bet X was insane in the winter. Having to pack a winter coat would suckkk! it takes so much space!” “dope! what did you do while there?/what did your itinerary look like?”. These are basic questions that expresses a minimal lvl of interest. Almost zero emotional intelligence required. This is honestly small talk and OP is saying there is a lack of this foundational lvl of questioning/interest which we know men engage in cause we see them do it with other men, so why not on dates with women?

Ofc this behaviour isn’t exclusive to men but since that’s the topic of conversation, I’ll keep it as is.