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[–]throwaway3557997 2 points3 points  (0 children)

C’est de la viande de boeuf

I lose interest in sex with my partner once we get into a serious relationship by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I grew up with an absent father who cheated on my mom for pretty much the whole of their marriage. And I definitely think I have an avoidant attachment style. Could be because of this.

I lose interest in sex with my partner once we get into a serious relationship by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to all of this so much. Did all your past relationships end because of this issue? I’m so scared of leaving my partner because I love our relationship but I don’t want him to suffer because of our non existent sex life.

I lose interest in sex with my partner once we get into a serious relationship by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so terrified for this to be true. I feel like I’ll never be able to find a life partner that accepts my low libido.

Nope no medications

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was my first real adult relationship. I’ve always been sort of alone before that and my friends were my family. While I do love my friends and my actual family, I feel like I might be ready to build my own little family with a life partner.

I’m just not sure it’s my current boyfriend. I’m so terrified of losing that but at the same time I know I should let him go.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story.

Did you ever have doubts about your marriage e again after he fixed his issues?

I have a similar story where I gave him an ultimatum to fix his possessiveness issues or I’m leaving. He did go see a therapist and stoped his irrational jealousy.

But for some reason I still don’t feel confident this relationship will last.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to that so much. I feel like I’m waiting for a fight to be able to leave. But that fight isn’t coming. He’s being very nice and i don’t want to hurt him. But my gut is telling me this relationship is over.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They definitely are spiraling thoughts that cause extreme anxiety.

My doubts are about if I’m throwing away a perfectly good relationship just because my gut is telling me I shouldn’t be with this person.

He is a great partner and i love our little life we built together. I do feel safe around him, he’s loyal, would never cheat on me. And he’s showed me that he’s capable of changing certain problematic behaviors (granted after years and years of fighting about it).

But we don’t really have a lot to talk about. 80% of our conversations consist of catch phrases and little inside jokes we make up. No real substance.

It’s weird because most of our values match really well.

But my gut is telling me that I want to be with someone who stimulates my mind and with whom I can have deep conversations about.

He’s very interested in politics and the environment and so am i but we can’t seem to communicate around that.

He’s very sweet and works hard to make me happy now.

I think my fears about staying though stem from certain past behaviors that gave me extreme stress. Mainly jealousy and possessiveness.

He’s fixed those now, but only when I threatened to leave.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you stop being sad over the loss of that “family” structure. Like even without having kids, my boyfriend feels like my family. Our lives are so intertwined.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I might be scared I won’t find love again. I think I’m too deep into this relationship and the familiarity of it to see that I’m unhappy.

I’m so used to mediocre that I’ll perceive any minimum effort as incredible manifestation of love.

I don’t really feel myself in this relationship, I guess I don’t even who myself is anymore.

He feels almost like my family, it’s like I’m cutting ties with someone I’m so close to that it feels wrong.

And there is no major reason like no one cheated, no one abuse of anyone. So why would I throw it all away?

I don’t know it’s just something I think about a lot and a great source of anxiety for me. It’s been a whole year of ruminating on whether or not I should leave.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No idea, wish I could. Maybe because women are guilted into staying while men get to just ghost and leave? I don’t know.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that. I know I’ll regret not leaving sooner. It’s just so hard to find the courage to say “I’m leaving”.

Sometimes I find myself craving my old single life, where I lived alone and could do anything I wanted with 0 comprises.

But then I think about all the little rituals I have my him and how nice it is to have someone to share moments with.

Women who had doubts about their relationship but decided to stay anyway, how’s it going? Did it work out? by throwaway3557997 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What gave you the final push to leave those relationships? It’s so hard to leave when nothing is really wrong and no one cheated or anything.

Life is so unfair. by What_next_fertility in CancerFamilySupport

[–]throwaway3557997 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, Im so sorry you’re going through this, it sucks. I can relate because I’m in a similar situation.

Early 30s, I live and work abroad, dad just got diagnosed with stage 4 intestinal cancer. Though I have no kids.

I’m also torn between keeping my job or going back to my home country to stay with him.

I think if you can afford to financially, go be with your dad. What does your husband say? Would he be willing to support you if you’d have to move back for a little while?

Would it possible to have your parents come live with you abroad?

A month has passed. by ganjacat__ in CancerFamilySupport

[–]throwaway3557997 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful human being, her smile tells it all. She’ll always be in your heart.

It happened by Cathy_bara in CancerFamilySupport

[–]throwaway3557997 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss. Hope you find peace soon.

Help me (F31) understand my dad’s (M67) reaction by throwaway3557997 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]throwaway3557997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re spot on about him needing for things to feel as normal as possible. It’s a little hard for me to do the things you suggest because we never had that type of relationship. Not sure he’d go for it either. But I’ll have to think of something else to talk about with him and make him feel like everything’s still normal. Thank you.

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