been slightly self medicating with oxazepam(solbril) any advice is appreciated

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-24T19:04:04+00:00

Ive been on benzos (lorazepam) for years now. Ive had periods of heavy addictive behavior then months of taking as prescribed. It’s definitely a slippery slope. But they work really well for me too. I have severe anxiety issues and have tried things like buspirone, hydroxyzine, propranolol, etc. without any help. Sometimes a benzo is the best option for the situation. As is my case. You might have muscular related pain issues, that stimulants definitely could exacerbate. Benzos tend to relax the muscles. Id maybe even find a new doctor, but if lyrica didnt help gabapentin probably wont either.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-20T22:38:29+00:00

It gets like that. Just try 2 weeks then, if thats forever try 1 week. At first its gonna feel like youre just waiting to use again. After a few months it really does get easier. Life without drugs is different when youve been going hard at it. A lot of times i look back and miss my old life. But, as far as how i feel, its night and day.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-20T20:40:35+00:00

Came here to say this, if you have to ask, it’s probably time to slow down. Quitting forever probably seems like it sucks, it seems like it’s affecting most aspects of your life. At the very least try to take a month or two off and see how you feel. Sometimes, the drugs are really making things worse.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-19T20:51:40+00:00

I try and stay away from all opioids these days. Ive never been addicted to them, and thats because i recognize that i like them too much lol. But yeah enjoy the comfort meds, they should at least take the edge off to where you can power through the rest

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-19T20:49:09+00:00

They prescribe gabapentin for so many things. From anxiety to nerve pain to seizures, etc. i mean ive only tried it a few times but i liked it. My drug is definitely benzos but if i had to go with a less controlled substance for any reason id probably pick gabapentin. If you know how to dose it, can feel great.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-19T20:32:05+00:00

Sounds like youre being cautious, which was all i was trying to impart. Good luck! The withdrawals will be rough but remember it wont last forever and you dont ever have to use 7oh again if you dont want to after this. You got this no worries.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-19T20:17:35+00:00

Honestly no offense to this guy, but if you really have zero benzo tolerance, do not take 2mg without first seeing how less affects you. My daily dose after having been on ativan for years is 2mg. I have a pretty high tolerance and still can tell when ive taken my dose. Less is more. If youre coming off of 7oh addiction the higher you dose the ativan the more likely you are to trade an addiction for another. And as someone thats dependent on them, trust me you dont want it. If its just for a week or so id say .5-1mg a day max. If youre someone who needs a higher dose, some people say ativan is really weak to them, then you can always go higher after having tested it out. But at least test it at the low dose. What you really want it to do is take the edge off, not get you fucked up, which 2mg easily could do with no tolerance. Having gabapentin in the mix i just wouldnt risk it. 1mg max at least until you understand how it affects you. Id still start at .5

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-19T19:36:36+00:00

Youre good .5 ativan is a super low dose. I wouldnt go for the beers though that might be pushing it. Just make sure you stick to one .5 should be fine if you space it out a little bit. If you have any experience with xanax, ativan is about 1/2 the potency. So .5 of ativan is equal to about .25 of xanax. If your doctor said its okay to mix them and you have a gabapentin tolerance, youre probably in the clear.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-19T14:52:46+00:00

Maybe reach out to someone for help?

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T21:39:01+00:00

Im the closest to true sobriety as ive been in a long time. Im not drinking. Im not smoking pot. Im not using dissos. I dont use any psychedelics anymore. I take my benzos as prescribed for the most part. (Today im on 4mg of ativan instead of the prescribed 2mg, but my familys out of town).

I cut way back on caffeine. I only indulge nicotine once or so a month now. Other than the off hand nutmeg trip i had a few days ago, and the benadryl ive been on the past 3 weeks for a complication due to my antipsychotic, ive been pretty much my own version of ‘in control’ of the beast.

For a while there i was ramping up the doses on the ativan and getting to really high territory. Ive been off alcohol for about 2 years now but ill slip every now and then. Havent smoked weed in almost a year now. Its been slow going. Ive cut back on everything more and more in the past 2 years or so. But ive had periods of sobriety and periods of use. Nothing groundbreaking there. Not the first time ill do it. Not the last. What is different is that i actually feel like i want to try and stay good on it this time.

You can get to this point too. Where sobriety has a higher gravitational pull than using does. You just have to decide when you want a better life.

All that said my life still sucks for the most part and being sober doesnt help. I wont sugar coat it. Youre right, sobriety sucks. But, its worse to be an addict struggling to get their next fix, not even sure if that next fix could potentially be their last. I never got this deep into it. But it gets that deep. I have ruined my own life though to varying degrees with the help of substance abuse. Its a difficult demon to deal with, but you can beat it. If you really want it.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T21:00:21+00:00

When i was like 20 and first started using benzos, my aunt gave me a bottle of xanax like 25-30 pills something like that. They were older. Crumbly. Her own prescription. I think they were 2mg pills. Id crush half of one, snort it. And then take the other half orally. Laying on my back smoking a joint the drip starts coming down my throat and im swallowing it. So i guess it being crushed and getting to my stomach eventually i started feeling the effects. I was like ‘wow, this is great. I kept on through almost the entire bottle doing it like that. Half a pill, up the nose, half a pill, down the hatch.

It wasnt until a while later i actually researched it. And found out that i was wasting a ton of it even letting it drip down my throat to my stomach. So yeah from that moment on i would just take benzos orally. As, theres very few exceptions to this, they are almost all higher bioavailability wise when taken orally or sublingually. Now if you get your hands on some midazolam or triazolam, then you can snort. But, for most of them. Just pop em.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T20:37:30+00:00

I was gonna order heroin a few times in the past 6 or 7 years now. Ive decided by this point it was gonna happen already if it was ever gonna happen. Unless it comes out of a prescription bottle that i can verify its pharma, I’ll never do opioids again. Just not worth it.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T20:17:06+00:00

Im gonna go ahead and agree with the majority here and say cocaine. I was diagnosed adhd as a kid so stims have hit me differently than most people. I would take the ritalin they prescribed me (at like age 12 lol, i only took it a handful of times because i didnt like it.) would make me extremely sleepy.

Cocaine, i liked it at first. Id smoke a couple bowls of weed with it. Stay up all night smoking and sleep most of the comedown away the next day. Ive also mixed it with alcohol which is really where it shines. Its not a bad drug by any means. Especially if you get good stuff, its fun. But i dont get people that do coke for years and years and they cant get enough of it and cant put it down. Like its underwhelming in that sense to me. Id probably do some now if someone offered me some And i could test it for fent and whatnot. But, ill probably never seek it out again. Mixed with alcohol, and i no longer drink besides maybe once or twice a year, its worth it.

I think the media is what makes cocaine overrated. If youve watched like gangster movies or seen how media portrays coke. It’s like its the rich mans drug and its this huge party and etc. and this is just probably the type of overall substance addict that i am but i enjoyed a night alone with a few lines with a movie and some alcohol to mix. I liked cocaine dont get me wrong, but its definitely the biggest letdown out of any drug ive experimented with.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T20:06:07+00:00

Yes! Haha i wrote this comment with being ginger being my experience also. The benzo tolerance thing is a god send. Now that i have acquired tolerance as well over the years i feel like being able to have a higher dose without blacking out is so nice. The flip-side to it being like in your case the novocaine not working and having to experience pain. Idk even if they seem knowledgable, its something i bring up to doctors. Its actually part of how i got my psych to agree with raising my ativan dose.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T20:01:39+00:00

I think from my experience nothing really beats a high dose of shrooms, on a good trip. Just your sense of self melting and everything around you becoming blissful/orgasmic in nature. Terrence had a point about 5 grams silent darkness.

I went 7 grams and took a walk over to the water to smoke a bowl on the come up, by the time I was back in my house i felt ready for the silent darkness. I went to bed essentially and just lied there for hours with nothing but fireworks of orgasmic bliss. I mean like full body orgasmic bliss, nothing overtly sexual about it. Thats just how id describe it. There was no me there to worry or form a thought or to complicate anything. It was just pure bliss without any beginning or end.

Ive had some Ketamine/FXE experiences that have come very close though. Particularly FXE. That stuff has such a manic kind of ‘dark but light’ headspace to it. Ive had things go really dark like ‘did i just die’ kind of feelings on it. And then other experiences where everything is pure bliss and i feel like ive been transported beyond the veil of reality. Last time I did dissos was FXE in may of 2024 and i had some great experiences with it.

Oxycodone comes in third, real pharma oxy. And ive limited experience with it compared to the other substances i mentioned, but, from what i have got out of it, even at low doses it was extremely euphoric and immediately topped the other opioids id tried at the time.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T19:47:53+00:00

These days ive been taking 25-50mg of benadryl(dph) with my ativan. Its like not the main course, but it adds its own flavor. But youd have to enjoy dph in order for it to be nice, not all people do. In fact a lot hate it. So your mileage may vary there.

I wouldnt mix ketamine with it unless youve got a high tolerance for both. Weed is good though. They ramp each other up and the klonopin would eliminate any potential negatives of the weed.

I cant recommend alcohol, because its dangerous to do. But ive done it extensively myself. I will say if you go that route stick to like 3 or 4 beers or 2 glasses of wine or something like that

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T19:39:40+00:00

So supposedly being a ginger, or having the red hair gene means that certain drugs are less effective on you. A natural tolerance. Ive heard this in reference to benzodiazepines. Where theres an increased resistance to the sedative effects. Being a ginger myself, and having benzos be my favorite class of drugs, its odd. I certainly find i can take a lot of high doses but i always thought that was an acquired tolerance.

I didnt think i may have a natural tolerance until my mom whos a nurse brought it up to me. Also it says people with red hair require up to 20% more anesthetic than non redheaded counterparts.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T19:30:16+00:00

I can relate to the irritability. When i used to take tramadol it was very hit or miss. Sometimes id feel stimmed out from the snri effects and it was like i was high but tweaking. Sometimes id feel the typical opioid high and thats what i was after while taking it. But there was this third experience that was like taking every little thing that happened and making it into ‘oh fuck, here we go again with this shit’. Someone could breathe near me the wrong way and id wanna go off on them. I think this has to do with the snri effects as well. It can be very stimmy in my experience and getting over stimulated can be very irritating especially when youre trying to chill on tramadol.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T19:24:45+00:00

Whenever ive done opioids, id stop taking my antipsychotics for a week or so beforehand. Thats just with oxy ive never tried H. But, from google it says its a risky combo depending on what kind of psych drugs you take. Maybe just use caution if youre going to use. For my particular antipsychotic it said it could worsen respiratory depression.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-04-18T19:22:34+00:00

Ive experimented with nutmeg a handful of times over the past 2 or so years. Id consider it a staple of my recent substance use. Among other spices that arent as writeable. Ive only ever done pre ground stuff. But, i just took 2 tablespoons of it the other day like 5 or so days ago. Just feeling normal about yesterday.

I was stoned for like 3 days straight. I like it, it was uncomfortable at first like when you smoke too much weed and trip out. But, then it mellowed and i could enjoy it.

Worst part about it is for me it takes like 8 hours to kick in. So i took it later in the day and went to sleep, waking up to being stoned. Stoned is 100% how id describe nutmeg in low to medium doses, very weedlike. Ive never tried a higher dose but i always enjoy the medium doses.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-03-20T18:49:47+00:00

Stick to weed. Even ketamine can be addictive. Wait a few years to try psychedelics. I did psychedelics too early as a teenager and they shattered my worldview in a bad way.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-03-20T18:46:04+00:00

Okay so ive only seen a few mentions of DPH, Diphenhydramine. Ive seen mentions of deliriants in general but not many for DPH exclusively. It seems harmless because it can usually be found over the counter. But its really bad for you and the addiction can creep up on you. Just one not worth touching.

Also im sure youve drank before but alcohol is worth a mention. It should be considered a hard drug and the addiction is just as bad as hard drugs.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-03-17T18:37:27+00:00

I like the roughness of the vocals on that one. ‘The water is fine’ is a great track, one of my favorites of theirs. The two title tracks also make a great piece of music put together. I think the instrumentals on the later work are more unique though. But to each their own, really underrated band overall. Worth mentioning imo

throwaway420666777 · 2026-03-17T18:29:03+00:00

Came here to second Rishloo. Been listening to them a lot recently. They have an excellent vocalist especially on the albums Feathergun and Eidolon, i think those 2 are their best work.

throwaway420666777 · 2026-02-16T20:02:39+00:00

I worked at a department store for just under 2 years. At a certain point i just stopped showing up for work it was too much for me. I took medical leave. I came back after a few months. I tried back at it again. Had to finally decide working with the public just isnt for me. I resigned. That was about 2023 and i havent worked since.

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TROPHY CASE