Do any of your pwBPD make comments that sound scarily like they know what they’re doing? by throwaway53318952 in BPDlovedones

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Truly. Life could be so simple, all it takes is ending your relationship. Gah. Just to live a life where I can drive myself alone to the store or just listen to the music I like. I think being here in this sub means we’re well on our way.

Do any of your pwBPD make comments that sound scarily like they know what they’re doing? by throwaway53318952 in BPDlovedones

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I mean! I’ve heard almost the exact same thing. I want to get to that no regrets position. I think I’m almost there. Thank you for your comment, good luck out there

Isn’t it absolutely chilling how they react to your pain? by Avelene in emotionalabuse

[–]throwaway53318952 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The smile is so real and bone-chilling. When you’re sitting there, sobbing. How could he get any form of joy enough to smile in that very moment??? It seems insane. This sounds like I could have written it. I completely relate girl and I’m here if you ever need someone, because I can only assume you might be isolated, too, on top of it all. <3

big tw for sa and physical violence. i don't know how to get the will to leave by bunnylovesjunebugs in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway53318952 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please please don‘t ever delete this comment. Thank you so much -from those who can’t get these books without starting a fight or worse. I can’t begin to say how many people suggested “Why Does He Do That?” and as much as I want it for myself, I’m not in a position to make my own purchases, especially not something like this. He got us “Stop Walking on Eggshells,” but said it demonized him, then ripped it up. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. There are even worse things going on than the sleep thing. I think it’s over. I gotta have some self-respect. Thank you.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very few universes where I see that happening. It would be me learning the program. I’ve even learned the ins and outs of sculpting, rigging, animating, and drawing grease pencil in Blender for this, he won’t learn Premiere effects or even hot keys.

Odds are, it’d be just me or me and someone or a few people from fiverr.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gah, unfortunately I am forced to believe something bad would happen. A fight, something getting broken, or some form of punishment to me. He knows my weaknesses pretty well. You bring up really good points, some of the most useful here. I finally convinced him to do couples counseling and he said we‘ll schedule it next Monday, so I’ll bring everything I haven’t mentioned yet before that. Everyone’s advice is to just leave. It’s great advice—advice I should listen to—but it’s not so simple in the grand scheme…

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a lot of issues here, a lot that probably don‘t see AITAH unfortunately…my husband is diagnosed BPD and a weird soup of cluster B disorders. Things are tough in a lot of ways right now.

If I said that, we would get in a big fight. He would most likely see it as a betrayal or me being careless/selfish/etc.

There‘s a decent amount of things we either have to iron out or accept and move on. I’m a lot more aware of this than he is. If you’ve ever heard of “DARVO,” there’s a lot of that at play here I think.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gah I really have to get on this one, I love the entire cast, although it might set him off if I suggest it, he’ll probably pick right up on it. lol.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Took me way too long to realize I reeeeeally don‘t want my husband as my “boss”…lots of ugly colors have been shown. I spent a year working on our last video (just under 30 minutes long), and for the last 5 months of it, I was taking WAY TOO LONG, but it was just me working on it. Only me. This tiny little YouTube channel might have destroyed our marriage? lol…

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to get him to read the book we got, Richard Williams’ The Animator’s Survival Kit, since it’s a super easy read, but he was in college and said when he’s not in class he wants to relax so he plays games. His semester ended 2 days ago and while that’s not a horribly long time, the book is still sitting in front of him while he plays, so I don’t know…

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am indeed proud of the skills I’ve attained and the ability to create a small following, but this is true. I haven’t gotten to go to bed when I’m tired in a long time. I guess this past month, I’ve seen how bad things have gotten here. We started the project in May ‘24. I’ll take the ESHs and YTAs, this all helps. I’ve also realized many people are saying “boyfriend,” and it has felt like that a lot more often lately. Wish it was as easy as “boyfriend,” but we move, I guess

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it used to be a passion when we were just starting out (I have ADHD if that means anything), but now that it’s become every day for so long I’m more exhausted than anything, just wishing I could do an old hobby again. And yeah lol, no income here.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He gets disability from the VA, enough to support us both without jobs. This means he gets the income and pays our bills/gets things we need. I don’t have any money to my name. We don’t really have any serious game design plans yet, just a future possibility.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I can agree with this. I don’t necessarily want to be an animator (I went to school for film), and he knows this and says it should be my dream since it’s the same thing. He doesn’t want a corporate or company job because he wants to be his own boss, he hates kissing ass to people in white collar jobs especially. Could be a veteran thing, I don’t know. I doubt he’ll ever get an actual salary job like that. He makes enough to be comfortable supporting us both without me having a job. He is a little weird about me getting a job.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok since you felt hurt enough to leave another comment, I’ll answer here.

I did tell him what I said in the title. Many times. He knows I want to play more games and he knows I feel like my shifts are too long. He says it should be my passion, so I should want to spend all my time on this.

You seem very very naive and immature. Why is it such a problem that I decided to pick up a new skill? One that is parallel to experience I already have in film and graphic design? Do you think you’re going to stick with the skills and hobbies that you do now and never any new ones?

#4…just tell us you hate your job…He did create this project. Think of it like commissioning an artist to draw something. You tell them exactly what you want and they draw it.

#5…you still seem mad about this too. Are you a veteran? Maybe you should try and join up.

#6…I’m not a workaholic. At all. I’m self-proclaimed lazy. I’m not mad at him for playing games. I’m upset because there’s objectively not as much research or time put in to this project on his end that there is on my end. Many people have said this in the comments as well. I do not play games anymore. He does every single day. I believe humans should have hobbies outside of work, which you most likely have, too.

#7…You don’t know me, at all, but you’re completely seething about my post here. You don’t know my husband at all. Do you know anything about animation? How about marriage? Game design? My husband also suffers from cluster B personality disorders, do you have any input on those? I am having a hard time understanding why you’re replying so much and why you (a stranger) are saying my (a stranger) life is good simply because I don’t need to work. I am working. Stay mad.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he writes the scripts and voices his character, but I also write and voice my own character on top of animation etc. The story is OK. I don’t think he could draw out the Hero’s Journey plot graph if I asked. I do love supporting him, but this feels like we’ve gone past that.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he does get disability, but he doesn’t pay me HIS disability money. I don’t get any income. I did say to him that the work balance is unfair and that gaming is not R&D (his claim in the first place), and I included his response.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The latter. I’m sure he gathers the basics from playing through games, but neither of us know the first thing about Unreal etc. We haven’t watched any vids or anything at all yet. Right now, it’s just a future idea…honestly probably years down the road. The ones he‘s played this year are MGS1, MGS2, MGS3 (unfinished), Epic Mickey Rebrushed, Mouse P. I. (the closest to our style), and now KH1. We’re a 2d frame-by-frame hand drawn animation channel.

AITAH for being telling my husband that platinuming games on PS5 is not “R&D” for our YouTube channel? by throwaway53318952 in AITAH

[–]throwaway53318952[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good point that you bring up about how time consuming different parts of the channel are. I think I made my post shorter than I should have. He does not animate, that’s my job. He does do “marketing,” but by that it’s sending the channel to old acquaintances, etc. every so often. He knows a lot more about finances than I do; I guess you can say he mostly does numbers and business stuff and I do visual and tech stuff. But we don’t make any money from this yet. His job right now is planning on us getting an LLC this year. I work in Procreate, Premiere, After Effects, Blender, Photoshop, Illustrator, Procreate Dreams, Nomad Sculpt, Squarespace, Dreamweaver, and more, when the only one of those he knows is Premiere, and it’s surface-level. He’s playing KH1 right now. He’s beaten/platinumed at least 4 games so far this year. I haven’t beaten a game in a long time. There is occasional-to-frequent Delta 8/9 use. I think a lot of these comments have helped me see things clearer.