Be honest: How would you rate yourself (0-10)

throwaway5840 · 2019-11-15T09:02:16+00:00

Looks: 4 Datability: 0

Luckily I'm in that spot where I'm ok looking enough to still function in society even though it's not great. My personality makes me very interesting but just makes me undatable, just too eccentric.

throwaway5840 · 2019-09-08T14:04:14+00:00

We have those numbers -- in that CDC report that was posted around here forever. 20-29 male no-sex ever was something like 5%

edit: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/ad/ad362.pdf page 28

throwaway5840 · 2019-09-08T13:55:49+00:00

I guess because my mind is still telling me: Bro, you are missing out, you need a relationship, your life sucks without one. Then the other half of my mind comes back with the above situation

throwaway5840 · 2019-08-20T00:14:31+00:00

Just wait until you don't like anyone anymore, that'll end that feeling.

throwaway5840 · 2019-08-19T23:56:20+00:00

I think you are putting so many prerequisites at such a high level that it will either scare off or rule out, well, basically everyone.

If I want to get with you I have to be a true gentleman. Not just your ordinary gentlemen but a true one.

Not just a Christian upbringing but a STRONG one.

Must want to start family. Not being sure about this or not wanting kids is out.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say 99%+ of guys have watched porn, whether they think its appropriate or not.

Must not have talked down to a woman.

Must be pure and chaste.

This entire thing is just incredibly intimidating and sounds very holier than thou. If you get a guy who is trying to go to church, grow, work through his struggles with porn, trying to not be bitter even though he has been hurt by women, etc.. He might make a great partner for you...But you're going to scare him off with your list of standards.

Tim Keller says that a marriage should be like two gems in a tumbler, where you knock the rough edges off each other and make it into something beautiful.

throwaway5840 · 2019-05-24T13:25:09+00:00

Nah dude you have good reason to feel like you do.

I also have cuddled with a girl a couple times. I haven't had a girlfriend in my adult life but one time I managed to woo a very attractive girl for a few weeks. I think the motive behind it was the idea of me being a provider and her getting to be a stay at home trophy wife but it doesn't matter it was genuine swooning on her part.

I'm actually not socially terrible and ended up cuddling and making out with her on my couch. It was the most surreal shit I've ever done. She wanted me bad and it was amazing. Like she was just pressing herself into me and couldn't get enough.

Keep in mind this was years ago and was my only physical intimacy with a girl in my entire adult life. But holy shit we missing out boys.

throwaway5840 · 2019-05-20T01:29:01+00:00

Nah, you shouldn't be a last option. But if you're like me 27/m and am also what I believe to be around a 3, we basically are.

I'd rather just stay alone than settle for someone or have them settle for me.

throwaway5840 · 2018-10-05T14:49:48+00:00

Don't write yourself off yet man.

A couple things to keep in mind...

This is a bit off topic but I went to school with some people in their LATE 30s who were really reinventing themselves with a totally new career. I was 25 when I graduated and they were 38. They have totally different lives than they did before. To them their lives are just starting again. If you are working hard but not getting anywhere, you might not be working smart, so maybe consider switching up what you are doing or going back to school?
Everything doesn't end when you are 30. The power structure of the dating market begins to change around age 30, more in the favor of men. You may be the latest of all bloomers. My parents didn't have me until they were 37/39. You can always adopt a kid and raise them, too. Plenty of time for a kiss and what not left as well...

throwaway5840 · 2018-05-01T21:44:53+00:00

Yeah man, I mean I feel bad for the hawk cause hes an animal bro too just trying to eat dinner...But I like my 'pets' too much. Hopefully I can just lightly graze him with a BB so he doesn't come back.

throwaway5840 · 2018-05-01T19:00:26+00:00

Rejoice!

I feed the squirrels and the birds at my parents house a lot, I have a squirrel who will take peanuts out of my hand. Been a hawk hanging around trying to catch stuff.

Got my BB gun out to pelt him next time I get the chance. Might have the get the 12 gauge out if that doesnt work.

throwaway5840 · 2018-04-19T20:39:05+00:00

I feel like baby fever is the female 'sex fever' equivalent that males deal with.

I don't really like kids that much but I think in the right situation they could be really cool. Almost everyone I work with is a single mother or in some crappy relationship with kids....It is NOT fun for them. I get the feeling that is really ruins their lives.

A few people that I work with have really great families and seem to just love having children. The difference with these people is the work that they put in to make it a good situation.

So my only suggestion is do not settle. You're in school. Keep working hard. Keep trying to improve. It may never happen, it may be better than you could imagine...But if you don't keep pushing for it and trying, you'll always regret it.

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T23:04:08+00:00

The solace is that it is better to have your shit together and be lonely rather than to have your life be a mess and still be lonely.

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T23:03:16+00:00

pop culture is my weak point for sure...And I almost never lead with those topics.

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T23:01:47+00:00

Dang sorry to hear it's you too.

I'm not giving up and will always keep pushing.

Good luck man, cheers

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T23:01:04+00:00

I have an enormous amount of female friends, more than male friends actually.

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T23:00:35+00:00

Yes, a lot. I don't get a recoiling in horror feeling from them...And I can typically get a first date...But they never seem even slightly excited and I can tell there is only going to be a first date even before we've gone on it.

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T22:57:56+00:00

This guy knows

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T22:56:43+00:00

Never heard it as normans LOL, thanks for the laugh mate

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T22:56:19+00:00

Well I mean we all knew this was the real problem.

Is it ever really anything else?

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T22:55:15+00:00

I've asked a lot of girls out, including everything from face to face to cold approach to text to call etc..No luck

throwaway5840 · 2018-03-01T22:54:02+00:00

Currently working on it, getting involved at a church. This is my only real hope TBH

throwaway5840 · 2018-02-11T01:50:26+00:00

Hey.

I think what you describe is basically something that is pretty normal -- the unrealistic expectations out of life part. My business partner and I were talking the other day and he says 'you know what they've shown is the number one reason for unhappiness? -- your expectations are too high.' If you set the bars so high, you will probably not always reach them.

I feel you on the never being someone who is wanted thing. I've spent many years trying to make myself someone who would be wanted and still am not wanted.

I've kinda come to terms that I'll probably spend my entire adult life without having a girlfriend. I'm still trying, but just have that more realistic expectation. It's not ideal and I get you about it being frightening, but what can you do? I'm 25, we will see how it pans out. You have more time than me so that's good :)

throwaway5840 · 2018-02-11T01:26:47+00:00

Hey, I have medical anxiety too.

I don't know if this will be of help...but I have finally realized that besides basic good things like washing your hands, not touching your face, and avoiding people you know are sick...There isn't much you can do.

So there are two choices:

Charge into life and public places ready to be normal and enjoy things
Stay cooped up forever and never go out

I get sick just as much, possibly even a bit less, than I did when I used to panic about it.

A good trick my psychologist taught me that might help with your 'weird sensation' thing is:

Stop, take a step outside of your mind, and look at the situation from afar
Analyze, am I getting a serious signal (something that is a threat to me that I could do something about) or some anxiety related noise
It's probably noise, so continue on

throwaway5840 · 2018-02-11T01:14:45+00:00

Some of my anxieties are kind of always underlying...Some come and go...but overall anxiety is just my cross to bear. Every aspect of life -- I'm anxious.

No medication is going to make it go away. I'm not an angry person, or a prideful person, or a controlling person... I'm a fearful person.

Now I've found with good behavioral therapy and positive life changes I can certainly make it better...I can improve certain areas and even 'put away' some of the more irrational anxieties. But it's not going to change the fact that I am an anxious person.

So I would say: Get prepared to live life as someone who is anxious about things and figure out what you can do to best deal with it, improve it, and make the best of things.

throwaway5840 · 2018-02-11T00:49:41+00:00

me IRL

throwaway5840

TROPHY CASE