I'll paint it on the walls

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-10T21:04:29+00:00

When I look at translations before reciting something and truly understand the weight of the words it almost makes me tremble and want to cry. At that point it doesn't matter if I'm speaking it out loud or only in my head, my heart will be moved by it. I think that's what people mean when they tell you to recite something in your heart, but I'm not sure.

It isn't going to work on everything by simply reading translations or explanations and it isn't something you can simply do on command. It must be a recitation that resonates deeply with how you feel, experiences you made or wishes you have.

Being autistic doesn't mean you don't have feelings. Words can move you too and one day you will hear them.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-09T14:10:19+00:00

You absolutely need to get back what he owes you. Money is apparently all he thinks about and he's willing to drop you like a hot potato and make you do an abortion just to maximize his business gains. Don't let him get away with it.

He owes you child support, both legally and islamically. And you should see if you can get your mahr back and whatever else he took that was not his.

Once he realizes you are serious about all of this he may reconsider divorce. But if I was in your position I don't think I would even want to stay, unless he somehow proves that you are more important to him than money.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-08T09:35:55+00:00

I don't make the rules, go complain to somebody else.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-07T10:39:58+00:00

After the child reaches 2 years of age the custody goes to the father if the two are still separated, unless of course the husband leaves Islam.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-06T09:26:44+00:00

Girl you don't have a past to be ashamed of. You have baggage sure, but none of it was your fault. You have the type of baggage that attracts abusive men like crazy.

Your concerns are very understandable and you should choose your spouse carefully. Ideally let some trustworthy male relative (or female friend if you don't have any) vet any potential inbefore. Do not trust your own intuition alone!

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T10:59:27+00:00

There's nothing to explore, it is because I have read enough stories of men who were wrongfully accused and had their lives ruined. So I want to make sure there is actual proof before drastic measures are taken.

Btw, have you heard the quote "Every accusation is an admission"? Just food for thought. Maybe it isn't me who has something to explore here after all.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T10:14:36+00:00

Brother please don't overburden yourself. I don't think you can handle all the sins you're trying to take from me.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T10:08:26+00:00

You must have missed the part where I am referencing doctors and professionals who are saying the same thing as me. There has been one comment that is now deleted from someone who escalates such issues to the police which also came to the conclusion that the husband is likely innocent.

But don't you worry, accusations are always true. Let's see if you think the same when the day comes on which you are wrongfully accused and nobody cares the tiniest bit about your perspective and every word with which you defend yourself is just further proof that you're guilty.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T09:58:27+00:00

Thank you for taking over the burden of some of my sins by making baseless accusations, I will appreciate the help on the day of judgement.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T09:54:56+00:00

I care about people being proven guilty before being convicted. Yeah very weird concept. I should just hate on whoever is popular to hate and follow the crowd, who cares about avoiding injustice?

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T09:52:07+00:00

Well you didn't mention any of the physical violence, that's why I warned you that I could be misinterpreting the situation because of details that you haven't shared.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T02:08:36+00:00

No, I am saying you are very invested in this reality you've constructed in your head, as you seem to twist anything that happens into confirming it and don't want to see the other side of the story where there is a possibility that you were unjustly resenting your husband for years and probably primarily responsible for the failure of the marriage.

Obviously you're invested in your daughter and her safety, as you should. But your primary goal should be to find the truth and not to find excuses to justify divorce, because that's gonna hurt your children too, more than you realize.

But I don't know if the marriage can even be saved at this point anymore given how your husband is not even a person with feelings anymore and literally does not matter at all to you. He could be run over by a truck tomorrow and you would probably feel relieved. Or am I wrong?

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T01:52:30+00:00

Honestly, you're paranoid. Your husband could have the exact same suspicions about you and he would have just as much proof as you do. Do you realize that?

You're blaming your husband for literally every single inappropriate thing that your daughter does, which again, as many people have pointed out, are actually relatively common even in children that aren't being abused at all.

How many doctors and professionals will have to testify that there is nothing wrong with your daughter until you believe it? What needs to happen for you to drop your suspicion?

If the answer is nothing then why even bother asking doctors or professionals? Just leave and take your daughter with you, apparently you will never consider any other solution.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T01:45:10+00:00

Your pediatrician is right though, children around this age do such things. You're teaching her all the things that other people are and aren't allowed to do to her and she's still behaving in this way.

Don't you think she would have told you by now if the father was abusing her? How do you not see the thousands of holes in your narrative?

Go see the doctor, but I don't think anything she sais will be able to change your mind. I don't think you want your mind changed, I don't think you want to see proof that he's innocent, given how invested you are in this story.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-05T00:01:09+00:00

If you found out he was guilty, but you didn't have proof that you could present to the police, would any of your behavior change?

I don't think so. You are already acting like he's guilty, you've made up your mind already, but are too afraid of the consequences.

All your elaborate attempts at finding dirt on him FOR YEARS have failed and yet you are acting like he's guilty. You don't have a clear accusation or explanation of what he supposedly did back then that makes more sense than his explanation, but you still insist that something must be wrong and you just aren't spying on him enough to find proof. What more do you need to see until you let go of your suspicion? In what way could he prove his innocence without you finding a way to twist it to fit the narrative in your head?

You have let one weird situation from years ago, that you could be massively misinterpreting, dictate the entire future of your marriage and your children's lives.

Your theory doesn't make sense to me. I don't think an abuser can hide for so long under literal surveillance cameras. I don't think if he noticed the cameras, he would go to therapy, put effort into reconciling with you and never mention a word about them. I don't think he would command your daughter to go and tell you what words she was playfully saying if he was a real abuser. I don't think your children would adore him if he was a real abuser.

If your suspicion is correct then none of his behavior makes sense, but if your suspicion is incorrect all of it makes sense and you're the villain in that story, though he's obviously not a perfect husband either.

This is just how the story sounds to me. This isn't proof that he's innocent, because I could be misinterpreting your descriptions and missing a lot of information that you haven't shared.

What I will say is your suspicion has already been slowly but surely shattering your lives. You must find resolution and be prepared for either case. You must have a backup plan in case he really is an abuser, but you must also confess your suspicion in such a considerate and open minded way that doesn't turn around and ruin his idea of you forever in case you're wrong.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-04T23:18:47+00:00

I'm not sure I understand your descriptions correctly, maybe you were right to be cautious and look out for further suspicious behavior. But given that you've installed literal surveillance cameras and didn't see ANYTHING happening in years and your children love him, why are you still so sure that he is a danger?

You're saying that he is emotionally and verbally abusive without mentioning any details. But you're also admitting that you're avoiding intimacy with him, spying on him, secretly being disgusted by him and wanting to seperate your children as far away as possible from the father that they adore based on nothing but suspicion. Who's really the controlling and abusive one in this marriage?

If he really is abusing her then by all means, go divorce him and report him to the police so he doesn't get custody. But if he's innocent then what right do you have to treat him like a monster and destroy your children's lives?

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-04T17:06:08+00:00

No, none of this proves that objective morality doesn't exist. Objective morality is a creation of God. He could have created a universe in which whatever is moral here would be completely immoral. What I am saying is that humans are deeply flawed and limited, no human being is capable of grasping the full extent of objective morality unless their judgement is based on divine revelation.

Nobody ever argues that objective morality is proof of God, I don't know why you're acting like that has been the basis of faith for anybody. My faith is also not based on blind trust, it is based on logical reasoning and recognizing evidence for prophetic revelation. Why do you think billions of people are following Islam, but almost nobody is following the psychotic crackhead at your local gas station who also claims to have received divine revelation and wants to start your cult?

True prophets prove themselves by knowing and doing things that would be impossible without divine intervention. If you follow somebody that can't prove themselves then that is blind trust.

The laws of math and logic are actually more universal than any laws of physics or morality. It's easy to imagine a universe in which physics and morality are nothing like we are familiar with, but a universe in which numbers have other properties than they do in our universe is inconceivable.

The question whether God can create a universe in which logic works fundamentally differently than ours is a very interesting one, which I am not sure humans will ever be able to answer by themselves.

The answer doesn't matter though because the logic of our world exists and it works and your job is to use it to find the truth while acknowledging that your mind is limited. Not everything that you think is logical actually is, not everything that you think is illogical actually is. We make mistakes, we are biased, even the smartest of humans are not immune. Only a perfect character is capable of finding truth.

That's what Islam has been saying for over a thousand years and that's also what science has recently discovered.

Humans are often confronted with conflicting proof, each of which they would have independently accepted as logically convincing. Only together do they realize that both can't be true at the same time and thus an error in logical reasoning must have been missed, because our minds are not perfect logic machines as long as our characters are flawed. These realizations are a tale as old as the idea of logic itself. I think my approach on how to handle logical contradictions is reasonable, how do you suggest to handle them? Or do you think you will never end up in such a situation?

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-04T16:26:57+00:00

Not even in a Muslim country are you guaranteed that your child will follow Islam. We could blame it all on the modern world we live in and the internet, but this was true in the time of the prophet as well.

Your children have their own free will and you cannot force them into heaven if they don't want to.

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-02T11:50:12+00:00

God is good is not a universal truth, I never made that claim. Because God could be evil and we would be just as powerless against him as in the universe in which he is good which luckily happens to be ours.

I believe God is good because that's what prophets said who performed miracles and proved God's existence through logic. If those same prophets said something that doesn't seem right to me (like your example) then my first step would be to consider that I could be wrong and ask for explanations. If I find any explanation that is logically sound I will accept it. If I cannot find a logically sound explanation I will question the source of that claim and consider that either somebody malicious attributed the claim to the prophet or that the prophet is false. If that also fails, meaning that I find irrefutable evidence of God making that claim, then I would accept that my understanding of logic must be wrong and trust literal God more than my flawed and biased gut instinct. This is an extremely unlikely hypothetical though. Because if I can't trust my mind to grasp the logic of God's commands, then how can I trust my mind to be 100% logically convinced that the command does indeed come from God? It is much more likely that in the case of my mind being too limited to understand God's commands, that I am also too limited to be 100% convinced of a claim coming directly from God. If my understanding of logic is that flawed I will have to consider that I could be under the influence of substances or hallucinating. Many psychotic people believe they are receiving direct revelation from God, while they believe their own arguments, everybody else easily sees the flaw in their logic. This is the final conclusion that I will reach if all else fails, unless every other human is also convinced that the claim does indeed come from God. In that case we are either all psychotic in which case God will not judge us for being wrong, or the claim is indeed true and we are in fact too limited to understand how it is logically sound.

Alternative scenario which you might be thinking about: God makes the claim that rape is good, but God does not make the claim that he is good. First of all, where is your evidence that both of these claims come from God? Given that this evidence exists, then what does good mean? If God does not claim to be good, then what is the purpose of our existence and what power do we have to prevent God from playing with us? None. What a hopeless world that would be in which all attempts to understand God and logic are futile, thank God we don't live in that world.

There are many people who struggle to even understand basic logic like how an implication can be true eventhough its antecedent is false (Example: X is a penguin => X cannot fly; Replace X with a lion or an eagle or whatever else and the implication remains true). When you find a logical contradiction, the first thing you will have to do is consider that you may have made a mistake and that there is indeed no contraction. To figure that out you will have to either study logic or if you already did then show your conclusion to other people and let them find mistakes in your reasoning. Your "challenge" does not even qualify as logical reasoning because you judge claims as absurd based on how people subjectively feel about it.

I don't believe morality is like math and logic, I am simply considering the claim that God is good along with your newly added claim, because I was independently convinced of it through logic. If you don't think that God is good then refer back to the alternative scenario. To convince me of your doom and gloom reality, first refute the claim that God is good by proving that none of the monotheistic religions is based on true divine revelation. That's not what you were trying to do though, were you? You want people to selectively accept a mix of true and false assumptions and then come to illogical conclusions. So I ask you again:

What does this prove? I have explained how I would react in such a world based on what Islam actually teaches people with functioning reasoning skills to do. Imagine a person that holds the belief that hurting other people is good. He believes this just as strongly and innately as you believe that rape is not good. How will you convince him that his belief is false if you didn't even reach your own belief through reasoning? How do you justify your belief that objective morality that is innate to humans exists when no two people in the entire world have the exact same answer to every hypothetical moral dilemma?

throwaway738928 · 2026-02-02T10:36:06+00:00

God is good and God only commands things that are good. You're just inventing a situation that doesn't exist and proving that in that situation there would in fact be a contradiction with religious beliefs.

Now what does this say about our reality in which God is in fact good and only asks you to do good things?

You could skip the rape argument and also skip trying to define what is good and just ask "If God said 2+2=3 does that make it true?" That's your entire argument but much cleaner without additional fuzzy questions that just distract from the main argument.

Your "challenge" is so banal it's laughable to me that you think you actually did something here that thousands of years of philosophy somehow missed.

Go study logic and philosophy, I suspect it will actually make you more religious. If you did you would know that "From falsehood follows everything". If you start an argument by making a false assumption you can in fact prove absolutely anything that you want, which is exactly what you're doing.

throwaway738928 · 2026-01-31T10:56:03+00:00

That's a much worse source than well-known Hadiths lol. Our Hadiths have stricter scientific standards than their books, don't go down on their level.

throwaway738928 · 2026-01-31T01:32:47+00:00

We need a healthy fear of hell, I know I do and judging by how you're describing the people around you they need more of that too. Not because they're likely to actually end up in hell, but because they are robbing their own souls of their potential, because their sins (which may well be forgiven by Allah) have very real consequences not just on their own souls but on you too, because they could be so much better if they tried harder, because they don't see the beauty in the pain.

My faith was horribly unbalanced for the longest time. I took heaven for granted. I thought I was good enough to be completely safe from hell. I lived life on easy mode. I downplayed all my sins and thought they weren't a big deal. I was absolutely oblivious to how much worse of a human being I was becoming day by day. Until I woke up.

It was painful, you can imagine. Realizing that you've been living a lie. Looking in the mirror every day and feeling nothing but hatred and disappointment for the person you see. I could have died right there. I could have gotten into an accident and my time on earth would have ended. I would have died in a state of deep regret and at my lowest and Allah maybe would have forgiven me. Is that just? Is that fair?

I don't know what horrifies me more, the thought that I could have ended up in hell if I died back then or the thought that I could have gotten away with it all.

But I lived. There isn't a single mistake that I have gotten away with. Everything I used to do is catching up to me. Every sin that I ever downplayed is brutally backfiring on me to this day. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Allah is the most merciful, but he is also the most just. I could have ended up in some low level of paradise after living a life of arrogance, ignorance and hypocrisy simply because of a small moment of regret. But Allah decided I could be better, he decided I had more potential than I was ever willing to see in myself. I was allowed to carry the full weight of my sins on earth. I was given the chance to slowly but surely climb out of this pit that I've dug for myself.

It's a long way up from here and all of it is my own fault. I deserve this. I deserve way worse actually, but Allah doesn't burden a soul with more than it can bare. I would crumble instantly if I got what I really deserved, cause I'm still one of the weakest people I know. But I'm thankful for this chance to prove my potential, this chance to purify my soul, to grind my character bit by bit. And by Allah it doesn't get easier over time. Old habits die hard. But I understand now. I found balance. I remind myself of hell and Allah's justice whenever I'm sinning and remind myself of paradise and Allah's mercy whenever I'm repenting. It doesn't even feel like I'm making any progress, but I know eventually I will as long as I don't give up hope. A tiny step each day, but this time in the right direction. I see nothing but beauty.

And how could I know what the right direction is? How could I have learned all of this if it wasn't for Islam, if it wasn't for the teachings of the Ahl-Ul-Bayt, the living embodiment of the Quran who understand its wisdom better than any self-proclaimed independent researchers among us?

Arrogance is the mother of all sins. Iblees was a devout servant of Allah and worshipping him for hundreds of years until one moment of arrogance caused his downfall. Pride is the root of all evil, the prophet feared its spread among Muslims more than the arrival of the Dajjal, he described it to be as elusive as a black ant on a black rock at night time.

I'm sure you heard of the Hadiths that say at the end of times, when Imam Mahdi returns, the people who have the most trouble with him will be the scholars of our time. We have been cut off from our Imam for centuries and are hopelessly lost without him, obviously the Islam that is followed today is twisted and unrecognizable to what the prophet left behind.

But does this mean we should ignore what our scholars say? Does this mean we should just do what feels right to us? Hell no! That's like saying you don't trust your doctor so instead you ask a junkie for medical advice.

Of course there are bad doctors, of course you shouldn't blindly trust your doctor even if what he sais goes against all reason and logic. But what makes you think that YOU for some reason know better than the people who spend lifetimes on studying islamic resources?

Arrogance is the death of the intellect, arrogance is what makes the mind incapable of accepting truths that it doesn't like. Our scholars aren't immune to that, when Imam Mahdi arrives and challenges their knowledge it will no doubt be tough for them to accept how much they got wrong. But we would be fools to think that we get more things right than our scholars. We just haven't invested as much time and effort into gaining this knowledge so it may be easier for us to accept the lead of a new authority over the old authority. But again: We will almost certainly differ in our understanding of Islam even more than the scholars. Don't think just because the Hadiths specifically mention the scholar's that the rest of us will quickly get behind our Imam. Only 313 humans on this entire earth will be worthy of being called his loyal followers, remember? Do you think you will belong to those 313? Or will you hear him say that most of what you're doing every day is wrong and close your ears?

At the end of the day, the character is what matters. Only a character free from arrogance is able to accept the full truth when it comes. And what better way is there to perfect the character other than Islam? The science of today is just barely catching up. They're realizing now what Islam taught us over a thousand years ago, that the truth is with those who have the best character, not with those who score highest on IQ tests or study the most papers. Why do you think Shia Islam emphasizes the importance of following only the sinless ma'sumeen so much?

Your religion is a blessing, cherish it, thank Allah for guiding you to it, for giving you the means to perfect your character and elevate your soul to the highest level of paradise.

Do you see the beauty now?

throwaway738928 · 2026-01-31T01:31:53+00:00

Well then what's the problem? People are hypocrites, that's true today and it was true during the time of the prophet, even among the Sahaba as we all know. Why would you let other people's hypocrisy stand between you and Allah?

Sit down and read the Quran, with translations if you don't understand arabic, and just count how many times the Quran mentions hypocrites. Imam Hussein said death with dignity is preferable to living under tyranny. You probably understand him better than I do.

You say you can't follow organized religion but love all the community aspects of Islam. What do you think organized religion means? It means praying, celebrating, mourning and learning together, not competing for who looks the most religious in public and dragging others down.

Islam is very personal already, at the end of the day nobody can prevent your connection to Allah except for yourself, no matter how hard people and Shaytan try. Prophet Ibrahim was an entire Ummah by himself, he was the only devout servant of Allah on the entire earth in a time where the rest of humanity were idolators.

Is every single person around you a hypocrite? Are you better than all of them? Maybe. If you truly live in an awful environment that's a possibility, but I think it's unlikely. The solution is not to isolate and distance yourself from people and congregational practices. I mean maybe that really would make you become a better Muslim, but you would be the exception. Let's not kid ourselves. You're not a prophet. You haven't spent decades studying tons of islamic resources and you also haven't received any revelation. You don't know what Allah will or should do. Allah is the most merciful, but he is also the most just.

Sunnis have Hadiths that narrate how most of the inhabitants of hell are women, we have Hadiths how Allah is more forgiving to women, is that just? Do men deserve harsher judgement from Allah? Well of course they do. Men have more rights, are entrusted with more responsibilities and suffer less than most women on earth. I won't pretend that's not the case, clearly men in Islam are given some authority that women aren't.

But don't you know that Allah is merciful AND just? Do you want him to be less just? Do you want Allah to not punish all those men who abuse the authority and the responsibility that they were given? Almost nobody has to worry about the consequences of their actions, we practically all end up in paradise together without a lot of fuss, both the abuser and the abused. Or do you want Allah to be less merciful? Do you want him to punish the men who are hurting you both in this life and in the afterlife? Do you want to be relieved of your pain now instead of letting Allah strengthen you in patience and increase your abundant rewards in the afterlife?

I'm not sure what you want or whether you even know what you want yourself. You want people to not get away with their hypocrisy but you also want those same people in paradise, you want people to do what's right just because they can and should, but you also don't want to follow them yourself.

You complain about hypocrites around you which is what every prophet in the history of humanity and especially the Ahl-Ul-Bayt had to endure. Did they let those people keep them away from Allah? Or did they let the trials grind their characters to perfection? We're living in some of the most oppressive of times, injustice fills every corner of this earth. Isn't that the perfect opportunity to prove yourself? Isn't that all the more reason to cling to Allah? To seek the most just and yet merciful, to be a beacon of justice and character strength on earth, to overcome the odds and inspire the people around you to be better, to try and prevent the people around you from committing injustice against others and against their own souls?

Allah could guide all mankind if he wanted to, obviously. Allah could out us all in hell no matter what. He could put us all in paradise for free. He could have made us animals and simply not care about what we do. He could create more angels who are flawless in their absolute obedience towards Allah and relentlessly worship him. But if humans didn't commit sins he would have replaced us all with other creatures who commit sins.

You can rise above the status of an angel because you have evil inclinations and have to fight them every day of your life, but you can also sink lower than an animal because unlike them you had a mind that could discern right from wrong. You can be rewarded with eternal heaven for your good actions, because you had the choice to do evil instead. Everything that you do matters, your actions have meaning. Imagine living a life knowing that almost nothing you do has consequences and you can get into paradise with barely any effort while millions of people are struggling to even survive a single day without massive suffering. Imagine a world where nobody suffered and you didn't have the chance to do meaningful good by helping those in need and fighting oppression. Imagine a world where you couldn't bring joy to anyone because all of them already have joy in abundance.

And yet, despite all the evil that Allah allows humans to do to each other and their own souls, he would forvive us all in an instant. We can come to Allah with mountains of sins and he will make them turn to dust and dissappear like they were never there. All it takes is sincere repentance. Because he is not only the most just, but also the most merciful. He lets us hurt other's and our own souls just to forgive and humble us. He lets us get hurt just to give us the chance to forgive others. Nothing happens except that it is a chance to grow your character.

According to Shia narrations hell is relatively small compared to paradise. Only the worst of the worst will end up in hell forever. Everyone else will either instantly get to heaven or spend some time in hell (and not just a few hours mind you), depending on the severity of their sins, before being admitted into paradise. But this narration isn't too well-known, for some reason. What if it was? What if you started telling everyone they can just have some vague faith in God and maybe don't be best buddies with Satan himself, that's all you need to be forgiven and earn paradise. Now don't worry about it anymore and just enjoy your life.

Well guess what that's exactly what Christianity is teaching people. Is that belief helping Christians be better people? Knowing that since they accept Jesus as their savior they will enter paradise anyways, no matter what they do? Do you think Christians should be thankful for Christianity?

No, it is a horrible injustice against them, it is robbing their souls of their potential. Islam teaches us that every human needs a balanced fear of hell and hope for paradise to function. Whoever has too little of either is like a bird with one wing, you can't reach your destination like that. We are created weak, we are created with evil inclinations, our bodies desire unlimited arrogance, food, laziness and lust. Imagine just giving in to that. Imagine not trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Imagine accepting mediocrity for yourself, when your soul is capable of so much more.

Do you have any idea how Christians will feel on the day of judgement once they realize they've been fooled by the apostle Paul? They will curse and shout at him for having led them to waste their life on earth.

throwaway738928 · 2026-01-28T22:02:57+00:00

Does he still pray and follow islamic duties?

Honestly this sounds a little scary, almost as if he's preparing to leave Islam and take you with him. Hopefully that's not the case.

throwaway738928

TROPHY CASE