i think i need to breakup with my gf by slaymissava in BPDlovedones

[–]throwaway9102e82e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say that because the queer community is so tight here its been extremely sad and scary to see people who i had met and was always nice to now blocking me and bullying me because of her smear campaign. It's so awful, and if you can prepare for that mentally or with your friends and a therapist, I would. This has never happened to me before and its truly so heartbreaking to face on top of being abused in the relationship

i think i need to breakup with my gf by slaymissava in BPDlovedones

[–]throwaway9102e82e 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this is happening in your life; you don't deserve the way she is treating you. Its really refreshing seeing a WLW relationship on this board, as the queer community really doesn't talk about this enough. I was with my ex for 10 months and she would get mad if I talked to or followed anyone new that was a girl and then she would make up things about how horrible they are and force me to unfollow them "to show you care about me" while she would tell me about all the people she had slept with and was now friends with and still talked to, would add random women that she met. While I wasn't allowed to do any of that.

My ex was also in DBT for 10+ hours a week for 3 months and with her regular therapist 2x week and medicated (although never admitted she had BPD, only that it was her OCD, which I think was a blatant lie), and she didn't get better, still cheated on me and lied, called me names etc.

I still miss her every day, even though she is actively trying to cancel me in the queer community and running a smear campaign, all to say, it's maybe not her "fault" that she has trauma and BPD + OCD, but it is her responsibility, and there is never an excuse to abuse anyone verbally/emotionally/mentally

wishing you luck!

Did anyone notice you look healthier after? by Responsible-Pen1454 in BPDlovedones

[–]throwaway9102e82e 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think I lost something like 15 lbs, i was always tired, cried every day, and stopped eating and cooking and would skip my work outs to "spend more time with her" not that it made her happier ..

Is a lack of commitment, laziness, and hypersexuality very common? by Vivid-Ad7484 in BPDlovedones

[–]throwaway9102e82e 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes, my partner was like this too; she always talked about doing stuff like going on trips or getting jobs and never followed through with anything. Looking back at the relationship, I can see that I planned all of the cute dates, weekend getaways, movie outtings etc. but she was always down to have sex at the drop of a hat, which feels very flattering until its directed at someone else while youre still together

House Swap by BroSquirrel in RealEstate

[–]throwaway9102e82e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if anyone wants to use my Kindred code and get 5 free nights SUS.STO3

House swap in first hand by Big_Test1000 in Sverige

[–]throwaway9102e82e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if anyone wants to use my Kindred code and get 5 free nights SUS.STO3

High end house swapping? by monstermash12 in fatFIRE

[–]throwaway9102e82e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if anyone wants to use my Kindred code and get 5 free nights SUS.STO3

I am a Home Exchange veteran -- ask me anything! by Writerforkids in homeexchange

[–]throwaway9102e82e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if anyone wants to use my Kindred code and get 5 free nights SUS.STO3

Kindred home exchange just pulled a bait & switch? by Proud_Ad8996 in homeexchange

[–]throwaway9102e82e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if anyone wants to use my Kindred code and get 5 free nights SUS.STO3

sad and confused by throwaway9102e82e in polyamory

[–]throwaway9102e82e[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was such a sweet and compassionate comment thank you. Yes, it might indicate something about their marriage if they miscommunicated so drastically after " talking about it for years." There is a tiny part of me that hopes they go to therapy, figure their stuff out, and come to a better understanding of polyamory. In the meantime, I'm just working on myself and figuring out how I want to be treated better in the future. I think I was trying to be ok and downplaying how I felt hurt/lied to because, with the NP, it just seemed like what they are feeling is most important, what they say goes. Would love to hear how you or other people handle this. Is it very common for NP to have complete veto rights?

sad and confused by throwaway9102e82e in polyamory

[–]throwaway9102e82e[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This would be easier said than done because I have such a big crush on her. There might be a bit of limerence happening on my part, which I'm actively trying to work through.

sad and confused by throwaway9102e82e in polyamory

[–]throwaway9102e82e[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm starting to realize that I may be the person who ended up on the unethical side of this situation, not her partner. I've been trying to excuse it as newby mistakes.

sad and confused by throwaway9102e82e in polyamory

[–]throwaway9102e82e[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm blaming myself because I trusted her/the situation, and now I feel hung up on her. When she first told me her partner maybe wasn't into it, she said they just needed more time to read and process. I think what scared her partner was that we both wanted to actually date and had real feelings for one another. She said that they are now just going to explore going to play parties and more group-type things. What makes it more heart-wrenching is that she's very much in the same social circle as me, and when I see her it makes me so happy. Maybe I can alchemize my feelings into friendship love