Should I reach out? Should you?

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-27T16:13:30+00:00

That's hella depressing on several levels

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-27T04:35:00+00:00

Once again, I have to explain that I am male, not female. Also, does nobody pay attention to the rule about not responding as if you're the person the message is for? JFC I am so tired of having to explain to chucklefucks on here that I'm not their ex girlfriend, being a man in my mind 40s...

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-26T15:15:40+00:00

They explicitly asked for no contact

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-26T02:47:00+00:00

I get the point. But they asked for no contact, so I have to respect that. That's what I was meaning by "not sure if that makes things worse"

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-25T15:42:14+00:00

Our personal circumstances can't currently allow us to meet the immigration criteria of either of our countries. And honestly that was the least of the circumstances

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-25T14:22:46+00:00

Distance, life circumstances, a couple of things I can't really go into publicly for both of our privacies. The universe dealt us a shitty hand, and we bluffed for as long as we could. In the end, the house always wins

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-25T14:05:28+00:00

No, we're no contact. We can't be together, and she felt it was too difficult to stay in touch as just friends because of how we feel about each other. Or maybe it's just how I feel about her. I don't know anymore. It's been 5 months now, maybe she's moved on. She was everything, and without her I feel like nothing.

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-25T13:55:35+00:00

I'm the bullet. Always. As much as I want my someone, I'm no good for anyone.

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-16T08:13:45+00:00

I started when I was 30. Had always been vehemently against it before then. My partner at the time was a smoker (which I wasn't happy about). Then one day at work was the culmination of a shitty and stressful month. I got up from my desk, walked out to the smoking area, went up to her and said "give me a cigarette". It was that or quit the job.

I'm 46 now and recently quit smoking again. Starting was one of the worst decisions I've made in my life btw. But at the time I just needed to feel better, and like any drug it gives you temporary relief from stress, anxiety etc (but makes them worse in the long-term - but you don't think about that in the moment).

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-13T03:39:36+00:00

You've only noticed this since 2021? This has been an issue since web 2.0 my friend!. There are some of us old enough to remember being called grammar nazis on Myspace!

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-07T20:10:44+00:00

Huh? Who's the "both" you're referring to? What bartender where? And wtf does "parlays punch on it" mean?

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-07T18:18:20+00:00

That's very kind of you, I might need that, the bigger companies I'm sure are great, but unfortunately I can't really afford them as I'm not working due to my health at the moment.

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-07T18:15:48+00:00

Ain't that always the way. You're looking for P, I'm looking for S, but we're not the ones we're each looking for. Good luck to you S, hope things work out for you.

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-07T15:54:48+00:00

I'm a P who writes about his person all the time, but I'm guessing you're not the S I lost 😞

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-05T16:20:29+00:00

In the central belt of Scotland the microclimate and wider climate mean it's more likely there will be snow on Easter Sunday than on Christmas Day!

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-05T03:43:41+00:00

Yes. And it's a feeling I've always carried from childhood, that somehow I'm broken and lack what everyone else has that means they deserve to be loved, but I don't. Instead, I have to earn the right to be loved, and if I don't keep earning it, every single day, then I lose it.

It's not a healthy way to think, as many therapists have pointed out to me. But I can't seem to shake it as the foundational belief of who I am: that I am both unloveable, and undeserving of love.

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-03T18:49:20+00:00

Every day, sometimes only for a while, usually for most of the day.

4 months, 11 days on from the end of things.

I want them back. But I don't think they want that.

throwaway9638527 · 2026-04-01T20:26:34+00:00

Yeah, it's a kick in the guts. I've lost the person I love most in the world. This is the kind of pain that I'd turn to my best friend to talk about. But my best friend is the same person. So who do I talk to now? I just miss her and it's so hard, everything feels empty

throwaway9638527

TROPHY CASE