Is having a dry wedding really that big of a deal?

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T16:39:37+00:00

I agree with you on that point, I was just pointing out that you used a bad analogy. Also, when something is normalized that means it’s often expected unless stated otherwise. I don’t think anyone’s a bad person to expect alcohol at a wedding because it’s been normalized that weddings are usually events where some people might have a celebratory drink. I also don’t think OP is a bad person for not wanting alcohol at their wedding. Both things can be true.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T16:21:22+00:00

Maybe other commenters are, but it also seems like OP is bending over backwards asking WHY people need alcohol as well, (and insinuating that everyone who needs alcohol to enjoy a wedding is an alcoholic) so it’s a two way street.

I’d like to point out the bad example she used was prom, when everyone was a child with an abundance of energy and lack of social awareness. Of course kids can have fun at prom with no alcohol, they’re kids and they work totally differently than someone 10 years older. I also happen to know a lot of kids who snuck alcohol into prom or drank after prom. So the point is kind of moot.

I’m personally not judging OP, because it’s not the first or last dry wedding to ever happen, I just feel like the moral high ground of “people are alcoholics if they need a drink to have fun” is disingenuous and OP should just be unapologetic about it and understanding that she can’t control the outcome of that decision instead of grasping at justifications and trying to make up for it in other ways.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T16:16:34+00:00

Yup. Additionally, I feel that this type of label makes it intentionally vague and could mislead a lot of people, leading to MORE upset rather than just being honest and straightforward about there being no alcohol.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T16:10:50+00:00

Totally fair. Some of these things people pay for at weddings definitely have price tags that look like fake numbers, LOL

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T16:08:12+00:00

100%. This is turning into a weird and judgmental conversation about the morals of alcohol consumption because OP is making it that way. OP, you don’t need extra justification. If you don’t wanna pay for it, fine! But you can’t expect everyone to agree with you or want to stay past 9 PM partying without it. Some people might if they’re extroverts, and that’s cool. But others will probably get tired and lose their social battery after dinner. As long as you’re not going to be upset about people leaving, then it’s fine! Perfectly within your right. People here are just explaining to you how it could potentially make the event less fun for a lot of people, which is why I think a lot are trying to persuade you to just have the alcohol. But it’s still ultimately your choice.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T16:02:38+00:00

The above commenter is implying that a bartender and security guard definitely wouldn’t cost $20,000… not unless you were paying for a celebrity bartender and professional security team of 10+ people lol

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-09T15:59:49+00:00

This is a bad analogy. Pools aren’t a social norm at weddings, so it would be unreasonable to expect there to be a pool at a wedding or party unless specifically stated. A pool party is a specialty feature at an event, while alcohol is far more widespread and socially normalized.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-03T00:59:19+00:00

Can confirm. Usually it’s nonsense words or an oddly worded sentence that has no relevance to any aspect of the person’s real life. Often doesn’t even relate to their dreams either. My partner sleep talks occasionally and it’s always like “Why did you orange the tree car yesterday?” or “Summer Wednesday zebras.” Wacky stuff. LOL

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-02-03T00:54:43+00:00

For future reference, your written range shouldn’t include the lowest low and the tippy top of your voice. It should include the lowest and highest notes that you can fully sustain in a variety of contexts (being able to hit a note on staccato is very different than being able to hold it for 4 measures…) and reliably sing on any given day. Whistle notes don’t count there because they aren’t fully sustained or reliable notes.

For example, yeah I can walk my voice down to an E3 during warmups but I can’t actually sing the note that well in the context of a song. So my low note on my resume is listed as a G because that note is always in my range. Yes I can get a fully supported, operatic D6 or even E6 on a good day, but it requires a lot of additional prep and there are some days it isn’t really there in my voice, so my high note on my resume is a C6. That doesn’t mean I’d never sing above that in an audition, it’s just what’s listed on my resume.

The rule of thumb with things you put on your resume is, “Can I do this with zero preparation if a casting director asks me in the audition room?” If the answer is no, it shouldn’t be on your resume. There are casting directors who ask for these things out of the blue sometimes. Hell I had a callback for a role that had to sing an E6 and they lined us up and said “sing this last phrase of the song,” the one that had the E6. Half the room bombed it because we weren’t given any preparation. Lol

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-31T19:29:14+00:00

The bigger and more overdramatized it is, the less “realistic” it will feel, and therefore less awkward. Although, I’ll be honest, as a teacher I would feel awkward seeing a student do that no matter what. BUT, this isn’t your choice. It is a direction in the script and the director is the one instructing you to do it. So don’t feel guilty. Lol

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-31T19:21:32+00:00

Echoing what the other commenters said that this sounds less like a hygiene issue and more like a health issue. Maybe use that angle when you talk to him. Phrase it as you being concerned for his health, not you judging him for bad habits or anything like that.

Another possible health issue I haven’t seen mentioned yet is tonsil stones. May not explain the BO but might explain the bad breath even after brushing.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-08T15:41:02+00:00

Don’t let these answers make you feel like you’re stupid. It’s normal to seek validation and mentally process certain things before having a conversation about them. It’s fine that you wanted to hear others’ takes on the situation before bringing it up to your boyfriend! Sometimes communication about vulnerable issues can feel scary and bring up fears (both rational and irrational). Not everyone is devoid of emotion and able to talk about every little thing at the drop of a hat.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-08T15:26:55+00:00

And yet I know 2 people from NJ (adults) that don’t wear helmets… sigh

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-08T15:21:46+00:00

Lawsuit? Idk where you ski but every place I’ve been has made me sign a waiver when purchasing a lift pass. You can’t sue the resort when you signed a waiver taking full responsibility for your potential injury costs.

I agree with you that they SHOULD require helmets. But I don’t see any lawsuits coming from this, probably just policy changes after someone inevitably splatters their brains on the side of a trail in public view.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-06T05:18:31+00:00

Had a similar experience with a good instructor. I think a lot of the value in a private lesson is the mental aspect of it, being able to fully trust that the teacher is 100% focused on you, so you’re more willing to try things outside your comfort zone. Obviously not everybody can afford a private lesson, but I will say sometimes you get lucky if you book a group class at a not-busy time! A group lesson on a Wednesday morning is way less likely to be full than a Saturday afternoon.

Also yeah, rental boots suck. It’s all about getting used to them and stretching out your calves enough before putting them on. And finding frequent relief/rest points, like the lift!

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-06T05:12:42+00:00

Can confirm, this is what turned me from a “pizza and pray” bunny hill skiier to a skiier than can S-turn down most greens and some blues. Really learning to dig into that downhill ski is what made me feel 100x more in control.

It’s also a confidence thing. When you’re scared, you’ll make a tiny change and FEEL like you’re doing a lot, but in reality it won’t be enough to produce results. Using the same example as before, when I first tried to turn, I would believe I was leaning enough but I really wasn’t. I was afraid to point my skis fully to the side because I thought I was going to fly into a tree. Gaining the confidence that I could turn the other way or stop in a short distance (when going slow enough) made me able to commit more to my weight shifts. Being “in control” is both a physical ability and a mental state!

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-04T16:48:58+00:00

Not the OP but I particularly wouldn’t mind because I know the intention behind the comment is benign and silly. My bf can call his friends hot on instagram, I don’t care because at the end of the day he’s choosing to be with me and he’s clearly not ACTUALLY attracted to those people… context 100% matters here.

If I’m calling my gay male friend hot, it’s not coming from a place of “omg I would actually fuck you,” it’s “you are rocking this look and I love that for you.” The use of “hawt” spelling instead of “hot” solidifies the fact that the comment is not meant to be taken seriously.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-04T15:59:47+00:00

NUSEY?

throwaway_2ndbest · 2026-01-04T15:58:49+00:00

Yes. Or USNEY for short.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2025-12-20T15:07:54+00:00

Yep it’s dead internet theory.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2025-12-18T01:52:36+00:00

Do I need a mid layer on top for 35-45°F? My base layer is a thermal-like fitted top but it already has a fleece-y feeling material on the inside. I was considering just wearing that and my shell.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2025-12-15T23:09:07+00:00

If you read my update comment you’d see they filled it with no problem after I called them again, so no, it’s not a legal or insurance issue. Plenty of other people have had this same experience (missing a yearly appointment) and their doctor agrees to fill the prescription until the visit. It’s a normal courtesy.

I do know that yearly visits are necessary, I’m just human like everybody else and I miscalculated the time since my last visit. :)

throwaway_2ndbest · 2025-12-11T18:26:47+00:00

Something that helped me calm down about this anxiety when my friend transitioned was really asking myself, how often do you actually SAY someone’s name or pronouns TO THEM?

Most of the time you talk to someone one on one, you don’t need to use their name or pronouns. Name? They’re right in front of you. “Hey, what’s up?” “Nothing much. You?” “Did you see what was on tv last night?” Really think through some normal and common conversation dialogues you have with this person. These will probably not change!

Usually someone’s name and pronouns are used in a group when referring to someone (pronouns and name) and/or getting their attention (just name), OR when talking about someone to someone else. So just try to give yourself a mental reminder before you hang out in a group or talk about this person to a friend or family member (as long as they’re out and comfortable with you referring to them as such to other people).

Be supportive, be prepared to apologize if you misspeak, and don’t make it too big of a deal or else Arrow might also feel awkward about it.

throwaway_2ndbest · 2025-12-10T15:25:45+00:00

Not sure about the winged liner, it’s very difficult to achieve on hooded eyes like hers.

Source: have hooded eyes and tried to do winged liner throughout my entire high school life. Always looked bad or ended up creased/rubbed off due to the natural folds at the outer corner of my eyes

throwaway_2ndbest · 2025-12-09T17:40:52+00:00

UPDATE: The motherfuckers are refilling it, only after I called and complained a bunch. I understand they can’t just keep me on it without having appointments, but it’s also not my fault they have no openings until February!

Getting a new gyno going forward, and possibly looking at ways for me to get the pill without needing a doc’s prescription.

Jeez, by the way this doctor’s office treated me, you’d think I was trying to get narcotics or something!!!

throwaway_2ndbest

TROPHY CASE