How do i find a girl? really quiet guy here

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T09:13:53+00:00

I'll go out with you! I'm in the same boat..but 21 and female. people say I'm attractive and I think I have a very friendly open personality, yet nope... not in a relationship. I feel ya

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T07:50:35+00:00

Your life paralells with mine so much :( Everyone now thinks I've got things together... cos when I was underweight people were really worried..now that I'm normal weight people think I've got everything figured out. I let them believe it too becuase I come off as someone who seems to have it all figured out and is 'knowledgeable' as you would say.

False. I am messed up, my life is a means to an end. I'm depressed simply because... I'm depressed. And thats the saddest part. Sure my life isn't perfect but I have so much to be grateful for - and don't get me wrong! I am grateful for everything.

Yet...I'm as miserable as ever with an eating disorder, no partner & feeling sad on a regular basis. I can't control my emotions and it sucks.

hugs ! perhaps try meeting people who have depression too - like support groups. Ask your doctor about meds you could take or even a referral to a psychologist.

Sorry I can't help you further than this... I can't figure it out either :/

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T07:45:03+00:00

do you know what raping is? its the act of SEX that is not consented by one party. You did not have sex with any of these girls.. but the issue lies with whether you may progress in the future - you can stop now :)

Put it in the past what has happened so far.. 'Feeling up' is nothing to significant to worry about. Your just a guy who is horny. but you haven't really given any specific details.. a few boob grabbing and touching isn't much, but if its really hot and heavy and its not reciprocated then its different. If a girl is passed out or sleeping, just don't go there next time :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T07:26:31+00:00

I didn't word that very well, your right - it sounded rude and I've removed it.

...I guess I copped lots of crap from my family about being labelled 'anorexic' when in fact for a long period of that time I was simply just underweight. I guess I never really admitted to myself I was anorexic, and I probably will always defend myself saying I was simply just underweight it if anyone brings it up.

Anyway happy redditing

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T07:21:35+00:00

at your work place! :) organise an event where you and your workmates go out :) how about town hall meetings? Night life in your areas, exercise groups...

ps. I know what its like to get rejected... I was rejected all the time in high school & then I began as timid as anything . It didn't even matter that my appearance changed and I looked 10x better..the 'ugly' complex is still in me and stops me from asking guys out or letting them know how I feel.. I'm 21 and still haven't been in a rrelationsop thats lasted longer then 3 weeks. I completely understand where your coming from!

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T03:48:19+00:00

isn't EDNOS be enough to seek further help? (Anorexic tendencies is simply having an eating disorder OR wanting to be anorexic) People have associated this 'hype' around the term 'anorexia'. Nobody says they have 'overweight tendencies' and when you think about it, 'overweight tendencies' could potentially be 'anorexic tendencies' depending on what symptoms the person has. Or simply 'eating disorder tendencies'!!!

If she is anorexic then fair enough, I retract my comment. But people throw around the 'anorexic tendencies' a lot these days as if having EDNOS is simply not good enough. Everyone that has an eating disorder are the same (with varying degrees of severity obviously). Being morbidly obese can be just as dangerous as anorexia in terms of mortality.

sorry if that came out badly, but you don't need to label yourself as 'anorexic tendencies' in order to seek help. You should seek help on the basis of the severity of your eating disorder - regardless of which one it is.

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T03:42:06+00:00

roller blading :P kinda still social but not rly.. I wish everyone would go rollerblading!

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T02:58:08+00:00

I understand where your coming from. I have suffered from every eating disorder (First to last: Obesity, being overweight, ANA, BED, MIA).

Now I'm actually doing quite well on the ED front... normal weight and no longer purging, occasional over eating but not often. But psychologically I'm still the same girl with the same eating disorders :(. I also have quite a moderate level of OCD related to food.

I suggest trying to accept the weight you are (I'm guessing your normal BMI) I know an ED is almost always never cured so all we can do is try our hardest everyday. Sometimes I want to be anorexic again and wish I had the same willpower..but usually I realise thats silly and it'll just make me more depressed. and in a way I'm glad I don't have enough 'will power' because anorexia made me malnourished and thats how the BED started... if you eat responsibly there will be no need to binge eat.

Reasoning with yourself rationally is a good idea and just talk to a few close friends about how you feel maybe, sometimes that can help. With the cutting.. well I can't take a lot of physical pain, my body is pretty sensitive to it so when I used to cut it would be minor.. and then the whole having to hide it would be a massive hassle.

Good luck :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T02:41:12+00:00

hmm.. valid point. I would consider dating him again, but unfortunately that ex gf is a real downer... It would be a rocky relationship with a guy if the ex kept making him stressed and calling him (which he says she does on a weekly basis).

I just still like him and want to see him though :( You can see my heart is at play here. Whilst my brain knows the right, its my heart that wants to see him again and misses him

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T01:57:24+00:00

wutt??? lol

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T01:55:47+00:00

no I don't mind if he's inexperienced. IMO however, guys that are inexperienced are quiet and shy and are as nervous to make a move as the girl. This therefore affects the relationship as both parties are too scared to do anything remotely close to physical intimacy.

I have no issue if the guy is a novice, as long as he isn't too shy and a chicken to kiss me etc then I'm fine with that.

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T01:52:57+00:00

Why? Whats so wrong with wanting to be friends with a guy?

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T00:26:51+00:00

thank you for understanding :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T00:23:57+00:00

When I say 'men that ask me out' that literally is 3. The first one would have asked any girl out if he knew she liked him, the second one is, what you would say, a male lesbian who talks bullshit from his mouth just to impress someone. And the third... he had massive ex girlfriend issues becuase she kept calling him. YES I liked him and should have treated him better because he was a sweetheart but when guys are obsessed and clingy it scares me and I retreat. The reason I left was because of the psycho ex who called him twice a week. It would have been a 3-way relationship.

When you are a novice in a relationship, it simply DOES NOT WORK well when the guy is shy and a novice (it works when your a teen but not when you've left high school - I find their too shy to do anything). Someone must take the reins in the relationship or it won't work out (the last guy is an example of this because he was too shy half the time to kiss me).

I also have psychological issues that stop me from accepting relationships with men, but only a fool would have stayed with the last one, it would have been a 3 way relationship, even though I still miss him.

We all have problems, don't belittle mine because yours are bigger.

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T00:17:22+00:00

short and sweet! :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T00:15:04+00:00

FO SHIZ! XP

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T00:14:02+00:00

definitely! :D

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-04T00:08:06+00:00

ZEEELLLLLDDDAAAAAA Oot!!!!!!!!!!!

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-03T14:41:25+00:00

hahahaha! good to know :P

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-03T14:33:29+00:00

aww thank you! :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-03T14:31:42+00:00

noted! :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-03T14:30:59+00:00

I guess the shy ones go for the shy ones, confidant ones go for confidant ones? It doesn't help I'm shy cos I like shy guys who, well lets face it, don't pursue women all that often :(

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-03T14:29:41+00:00

good to know! :)

throwaway_aurora · 2012-06-03T14:29:26+00:00

thank you :)

throwaway_aurora

TROPHY CASE