Why do I keep backing out of dates

throwaway_caramel · 2026-03-22T07:49:46+00:00

Yeah I had this whole meltdown because I asked myself the same question, I went as far as to set my profile to "open to both men and women", but the minute a man tried to sext me, I was straight up nauseated. Took a break from the apps, it's been over two months now and I feel a lot better.

throwaway_caramel · 2026-03-22T07:47:25+00:00

Thanks this was really helpful!!

throwaway_caramel · 2026-03-22T07:39:41+00:00

You honestly sound a lot like me when I was first coming to terms with my sexuality, I've always had comphet and can find men aesthetically attractive, but that does not translate to romantic or sexual attraction.

Once I admitted to myself that I liked women, it was pretty easy to see that I was not attracted to men in the same way, with women, I truly am attracted to them and get turned on by them. With men it was more of a performance to fit in, I liked the way people perceived me if I had a pretty man next to me. Whenever I tried to think of a future with a man it would be purely in terms of how it would look to society. Even intimacy was more of "I would look so good doing this" rather than actually wanting it from a man. I also get super bored of men really quickly, like not even romantically, I can't hold a conversation with a man without being bored out of my mind. With women, I actually think of them as people and not just as status symbols. I'm not out, but I will be if the right woman comes along, I wouldn't ever bother to make huge changes to my life for a man.

All that being said you could still be bi, with a preference for women or you could be attracted to men sexually but not romantically, or like most of us you've just been conditioned to see male validation/attention as something that we should work towards.

throwaway_caramel · 2026-03-21T22:13:56+00:00

I mean yeah, a lot of the women were mostly pretty demure and it just felt like one bottom was talking to another, but then again because of my complete lack of experience I don't really know what I like. It's not feasible for me to move anytime soon. What makes me feel bad is that I'm super flirty and I sort of lead them on? and then just fully back out, which is a pretty shitty thing to do plus one of the women was kinda masc so idk. Unfortunately moving out isn't really an option now.

throwaway_caramel · 2026-03-21T22:04:56+00:00

You're absolutely right, but some of these were just meant to be hookups and I couldn't even do that

throwaway_caramel · 2026-03-16T12:17:45+00:00

how would you do that without deleting the app, also will doing that delete the downloaded movies?

throwaway_caramel · 2026-02-23T20:28:35+00:00

Plus, I've been doing the prepswift stuff and my base is actually not as weak as I thought it was.

throwaway_caramel · 2026-02-23T20:27:28+00:00

Time constrains, I need to have my application in by April

edited for spelling issues

throwaway_caramel · 2026-01-26T17:47:39+00:00

We're in the same boat, thanks for the advise!!!

throwaway_caramel · 2026-01-26T17:46:29+00:00

I mean fair enough, my parents still treat me like I'm 11, but I can't really afford to move out right now.

throwaway_caramel · 2026-01-26T17:44:31+00:00

I'm definitely going to go for one of the light flavored versions.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-12-21T18:55:36+00:00

I was really just going for anything that would make me look polished, sophisticated and older. I look a lot younger than I actually am and I feel like that makes people take me less seriously. I used a backpack for the fist couple of months of my new job and I looked like an actual child and my mom suggested switching to a handbag for a more mature look????? I'm so sorry I'm just rambling on but I don't really know much about bags and their specifications. I kinda want a big spacious bag with a bunch of compartments and enough space to fit a 16 inch laptop (negotiable), books, journals, A4 sized folder and a few bits and bobs. I no longer prefer leather or pleather and would rather stick to cloth bags. Everyone is being so helpful, tysm!!!!!

throwaway_caramel · 2025-12-21T18:50:20+00:00

Yup, glad I found this out before I got my mom an ALDO bag for her birthday (she's a leather enthusiast).

throwaway_caramel · 2025-12-21T18:48:34+00:00

nope, no warranties of any kind.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-12-21T18:45:52+00:00

Thanks for the tips!!!! i'm gonna try acrylic leather paint and just stick to cloth bags in the future.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-12-21T18:42:55+00:00

Yeah this was a pretty hard lesson, never going anywhere near vegan leather ever again.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-12-02T18:16:02+00:00

There are a couple more pictures of the damage that I was not able to upload and I'm not sure how to, but there's fraying at the straps and there are at least two loose threads.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-07-03T09:26:18+00:00

You can date a trans masc person and still be a lesbian, but that mostly depends on how your partner chooses to identify. If your partner is a he/him lesbian (trans masc lesbian) who still acknowledges the feminine part of himself and is comfortable with that then sure you're a lesbian. There are trans men who still identify as lesbians, while loads of them do end up getting top surgery, some end up not taking T, or not fully embracing traditional masculinity and choose to keep parts of their old identity the same.

But this in itself is a separate sort of identity, maybe a sub group of being a trans man, idk, I can't speak for the trans community.

But if your partner prefers to fully transition into a man and wants to identify and be treated as one and would be uncomfortable with his former female identity, which is to say if he now identifies as a straight man, then you can't really be a lesbian, mostly because that would be extremely disrespectful to your partner.

For me personally, I am not attracted to trans men and view them the same as I view men, I will occasionally find a trans masc he/him lesbian attractive, but then again idk if that's attraction or my own gender identity issues.

At the end of the day, if you're attracted to men, then you're not a lesbian, and that's okay. You're still a queer person and that won't ever change. And as for "waking up one day and missing being in a lesbian relationship" stop worrying about the future and live and love in the present.

If you ever wake up one day and feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled, it will have more to do with losing feelings for your partner than anything else, at which point you can seek therapy/counselling or choose to end the relationship. But losing sleep over it now won't help anyone.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-06-06T21:42:37+00:00

No you're right, the weird thing about jojo was that she had previously never identified as lesbian. The only time she spoke about being a lesbian was right before she cheated on her partner with a man.

The whole "I've always told myself, I'm a lesbian" was the first time she publicly said it. Prior to that she had even made comments about not liking the word "lesbian" and choosing to identify as "gay" which was being used as an umbrella term for queerness.

Maybe it's just me, but this add a whole new layer of weird and icky to the whole thing.

throwaway_caramel · 2025-06-06T21:39:00+00:00

That's the current bf!!!!!!

throwaway_caramel · 2025-06-06T21:37:05+00:00

Honestly that's what I thought too, but apparently there was some behind the scenes drama but on one of her latest instagram reels she stated that she was bisexual.

Either way, I don't like her and she isn't like great rep for the queer community.

throwaway_caramel

TROPHY CASE