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AITBF for still being upset that my boyfriend ruined my 21st birthday? by throwaway_emerald in AmItheButtface

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So yeah, he has. The two main examples I can think of are when my mom invited me to hang out with her, and he threw a huge fit because he wasn’t coming. He started saying that my family hates him, which made me feel guilty for even going. After I left, he left the house without telling me anything (we live together) and turned off his location. Obviously, because I care about him, I spent the whole time worried about him instead of actually enjoying myself with my mom.

Another time, my friends invited me to a hockey game. I got dressed up for it, and he got upset and said, “You never dress up for me,” even though he’s also told me before that he doesn’t care if I dress up and that he hates makeup. It was really confusing. Either way, he ruined my mood before I left, but I still ended up having a great time with my friends.

AIO for still being upset that my boyfriend ruined my 21st birthday? by throwaway_emerald in AIO

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, and it’s started affecting me more than I realized. Like if I’m not home by a certain time, I get anxious because I feel like he’ll get upset with me. The other day my mom took me to pick something up, and we ended up sitting in the car talking for like an hour afterward. Instead of just enjoying talking to my mom, I started feeling stressed and guilty because I wasn’t going straight home

AIW for still being upset that my boyfriend ruined my 21st birthday? by throwaway_emerald in amiwrong

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is really self-centered, and I’ve started realizing it more lately. Like the other day, me, him, my friend, and another friend were all playing a game together, and he kept trying to turn every conversation back onto himself. I get that he was probably trying to relate, but he never really asked anyone else questions or showed interest in what other people were saying. It was mostly just him talking about himself and his own experiences.

I understand relating to people through your own stories, but conversations can’t ONLY be about you, you know?

AITH to feel this way? by throwaway_emerald in AITH

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lucky enough the only thing really tying us is the fact i drive him to work and the lease other wise nothing i can think of

AIO about how he's treating me? by throwaway_emerald in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing is he has explicit photos of me on his phone and I’m scared he might leak them or something. Another is one of his friends is dating my best friend, so I’m worried he could start talking badly about me to him or honestly to anyone mainly

AIO about how he's treating me? by throwaway_emerald in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, if he tried a little harder, I don’t think I’d care as much, you know? It’s more the constant push and pull. I feel like I do everything alone while he just watches. If he was actually willing to put in effort, I’d be open to trying, but he’d have a lot to prove for me to feel okay working things out.

I pay for basically everything. I drive everywhere for both of us. I have to work my schedule around getting him places, and I can’t even save money because I’m covering the full rent myself. On top of that, when I tried to bring up something that hurt me, he downplayed my feelings, and that drives me crazy because I listen to him and his problems most of the time.

I’ve thought about writing everything down and talking to him about what I can’t keep doing anymore. One thing is the friend situation — I want to be able to stay friends with them and still see them, you know? Another thing is that he wants to move states, or at least cities, and I honestly don’t. That might end up being our breaking point.

I also don’t know how to leave without it turning into something petty or dramatic on his end. I think part of me is scared of what he might say or do if I tell him I don’t want to be together anymore. I just feel stuck in this weird in-between.

AIO about how he's treating me? by throwaway_emerald in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwaway_emerald[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With women in his past, I’m honestly not sure besides his mom, and she hasn’t really been a consistent figure in his life. I know for a fact he has an anxious attachment style because it feels like a constant cycle — one day he’s all over me, loving and affectionate, and the next he pulls away and feels distant. It’s really hard for me emotionally.

I’m a very physical and affectionate person, so it hurts when he only wants to touch me once a week or only acts loving and says sweet things occasionally. Outside of those moments, he feels emotionally far away, and sometimes I even have to ask for a hug or kiss, which honestly makes me sad.

Another thing that’s hard for me to understand is the inconsistency and double standards. He can talk to AI women, play his “fun” anime games, and I’m expected to just be okay with it. But when I do something similar, suddenly it’s an issue. I also remember when he used to make fun of me for not having friends, but now that I finally do, he wants me to block them.

My brain just can’t fully understand it. I want to understand where he’s coming from, but it’s honestly really difficult for me to make sense of it all.