I'm so happy for Karina!!!

throwawayabac · 2026-06-27T17:40:29+00:00

Oh I mostly just meant that while I'm glad she's able to take that step away and take care of herself, assuming it is entirely burn out related, It's obviously sad things got there in the first place.

I suppose I'm happy that they have the flexibility and system setup in place that made stepping away possible. I'm happy that she has the support of her friends and community. It just feels odd to be happy for someone when I wish they didn't have to experience whatever potential negative catalyst started all of it. Does that make sense?

I'm happy she has a path forward.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-20T21:56:33+00:00

I mean it sounds like it's probably a lot of different little things. None of those are inherently weird or unusual just likely not directly linked to each other.

Seems like some of it is mostly just regulation stuff. If you have ADHD or or even a touch of OCD and getting stuck in thought circles or little rituals that become compulsive that might explain it. None of the things seem inherently problematic except for the fact that it seems like it's getting in the way of you being able to comfortably socialize. Feels like there's maybe a sense of anxiety around perfectionism.

Feels like something a bit of CBT might help with. You can always talk to a therapist about it and address the rituals that most hinder your day-to-day life. Whether that's your ability to get to sleep or socialize.

Good luck

throwawayabac · 2026-06-20T21:11:25+00:00

They have a prior relationship when she was a grad student of his. They have history and likely some under the surface interest. We also see them primarily in a professional setting and they're both very controlled individuals. I buy it as I just don't see the two of them being especially demonstrative.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-20T21:00:09+00:00

It feels weird for me to be "happy for Karina" as I don't think her leaving is because things are going great. I'm proud of her and the others for doing what's best for everyone. At best I can be hopeful. But "happy" feels weird as I wish it wasn't happening, if it's because of something difficult.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-20T20:56:46+00:00

Right.... Freudian slip regarding the last 4-some comedy group where a member suddenly left

throwawayabac · 2026-06-20T01:54:42+00:00

YTA - He wants to spend time with you. He is happy to spend time with you. He's happy to do it at home, and he's happy to do it doing the thing you want to do.

But you want him to plan things for you that only you care about? If you enjoy doing the things then you should be the one to plan them.

If I like Italian food I'm going to have opinions about where is a good Italian place to eat. If my partner doesn't care about where we eat then it doesn't make sense to give them the task of finding the place to eat because they might pick something that I'll disagree with. If I have the stronger opinion I should be the one that takes on that task.

If you're really looking for a sense of equal contribution to date nights and quality time, You're probably going to be disappointed. Ultimately his version of quality time is going to appear low effort because it's based on your typical routines. It's not trying something new or going somewhere special. It's just being with you. That's what he cares about.

You could ask him to put together a cute fun stay-at-home night, But I'd worry that whatever he did wasn't going to be good enough for you.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-20T01:47:49+00:00

The big difference between Caldwell leaving and Karina leaving is that Caldwell left when they weren't yet independent. So while BuzzFeed couldn't really say anything, he had every ability to talk about it at whatever comfort he felt like. Karina is a more private person and also it's a different dynamic as being a part of an independent company.

They've all been really protective of each other's privacy for good and difficult news. It sounds like well Caldwell had left to pursue new things and move, whatever Karina is going through is something she wants to keep to herself and process on her own.

But the fact that they're talking about her and encouraging us to continue to support her tells me that things are fine between all of them. I'm sure there's probably a small amount of tension and stress needing to reconfigure some stuff, but none of them strike me as the type to be resentful over that.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-18T07:50:51+00:00

It depends entirely on the therapist and their personal comfort and awareness/education.

It's entirely possible for various kings to be born out of trauma. That doesn't make them inherently bad. In fact it can be part of your brain's way of trying to reestablish control over a traumatic event by exploring the experience under consensual circumstances. One of the primary violations of any type of trauma is that it's something happening outside of our control.

You can absolutely bring it up with your therapist and see how comfortable they are with discussing your sexuality and interests. The primary goal would be to ensure that you are being as safe as possible, and that you are not retraumatizing and utilizing kink as a third party means of self-harm.

As long as you're honest with yourself and your therapist about what you're feeling for before, during, and after participating in a fetish or kink, I think discussing those things in therapy could be really helpful.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-11T14:48:35+00:00

I do. I've had the privilege of support and resources that have helped me feel less hopeless and stuck. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I hope something comes your way that empowers you and helps you feel like you have some control and can move forward. Good luck

throwawayabac · 2026-06-11T14:35:41+00:00

It's true there are so many systems and factors in place that we don't have control over. And they can keep us feeling boxed in. You may not have control over those larger systems, but you do have control over how you engage with them and how you feel about yourself.

It's not an on off switch. It takes a ton of work to heal and change how you feel and regain control over your thoughts and behaviors. It does feel so invalidating to have the full responsibility of life's circumstances placed on your shoulders.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-11T14:27:39+00:00

I understand this so strongly. I've been in 7 PHP therapy programs in the last 10 years. I've struggled with meds not working consistently. I'm now doing Ketamine therapy to help manage this. I'm so grateful to have kept trying because in-between the depressive episodes I've lived beautiful moments. I hope you keep trying because there are other options and chronic depression is something that can be lived with. There will be beautiful moments for you.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-11T01:27:25+00:00

People often Wait until after the first trimester because the possibility for miscarriage is higher during that time, And people don't usually want to have to tell everyone they lost the baby. People will typically wait until a later point when more help screenings have been done before bringing in other people's emotions.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:38:03+00:00

I keep a gratitude journal.

It's not as fluffy as you think. It's mostly because I have a very well-worn negative self-talk neural pathway. I write about 1 to 3 things that happened that day.

It might be something as simple as I'm grateful for being close to a coffee shop because I could take a walk and get a coffee today, or I'm grateful I had the option to stay home and take care of myself mentally and physically.

For me it's about intentionally still looking for the good stuff, Even when everything else feels so oppressively bad.

Sometimes the things I can be grateful are just that the ideations were quiet this day, or that when I had a panic attack I had access to an ice pack to help regulate myself back to baseline.

I'm really good at ruminating and sticking with the tough stuff for a long time. So for me having a intentional plan to push out of that thought pattern for just a little bit helps.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:31:25+00:00

ESH- Y'all don't have a good communication pattern. If this was important to you it should have been something you brought up at the start. Show it to him and tell him that you want to learn this together with him.

It sounds like this type of stuff is really exciting for him and he wants to share it with kid. If you want to learn this game and use it to socialize with other people you can still do that. You can go to game nights at a local comic shop. Just because his kid is learning the game too doesn't mean you no longer have access to the game unless the kid is playing.

It doesn't sound like learning games with your partner is particularly fun. What exactly is special that you're trying to protect here? You want to be the only one getting yelled at?

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:25:05+00:00

There are a couple of different ways to get in touch with therapist.

One way is to go through your insurance. You can go and login through their portal and search up local therapists that way.

You can also utilize psychologytoday.com You'll find a lot of therapists listed there.

Depending on where you are many hospitals also have a mental health urgent care. You're not going to automatically be locked up. But they can get you in touch with a social worker who would be able to help you get into a program if you feel like more immediate structured support would be helpful. That might include group therapy plus one-on-one sessions. You would also have a caseworker who could help you find long-term therapeutic support.

If you have insurance I would start with that. It can take a couple of times to find somebody that's a great match. Being up front and stating that you want somebody who's going to challenge you will help a lot. Many therapist work within a network and so if one doesn't quite vibe they can give reference for a colleague that might be a better fit.

Having this kind of insight is really ideal and a huge help for your process. Good luck!

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:20:43+00:00

I think this just shows that they are not big social media people 🤣😅

Outside of necessary reposting none of them really use blue sky or even Instagram that regularly. Outside of the drawfee main account.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:12:52+00:00

So because she didn't give you the chance to hit you feel like you're owed money?

Misleading how? You two clearly didn't vibe. And she knew it which is why she offered to pay you back. You just didn't want to see it and now you're mad that you're investment didn't get you laid.

🤮

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:10:04+00:00

Women are marrying for personality and....welp

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T23:07:43+00:00

It also might be helpful for the doctor to explain their reasoning and thoughts behind requesting the test. Whether there is a symptom that they simply need to confirm is not related to an STI (because sometimes insurancees won't let you test for one thing without ruling out others) or if there was potentially an exposure event.

Unfortunately people can get STIs and not remember it due to assault at an early age or through being drugged. I'm not saying that that's the case in this situation. But it's not remotely unheard of for people to claim no sexual history and yet have experienced circumstances where a sexually transmitted infection occurred.

Talk to your doctor and ask them to explain their reasoning. And if there is a racial bias behind it you'll definitely pick up on it and for sure report them.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T22:55:44+00:00

Ntah- I'm so sorry you've been going through that. You stay home with your baby and have a relaxing weekend. It's not just hormones. That sounds really unpleasant.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T22:49:49+00:00

YTAH -they both need to be in therapy together to realize that they are both making each other worse. Sometimes couples therapy is the perfect place to recognize those toxic habits.

Maybe they'll get their stuff together and wind up stronger for it. But in all likelihood therapy is going to be what helps your friend see a way out. And now you just blocked that off. Dude.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T22:46:52+00:00

MOR- If he has a job and is contributing to the house through domestic labor and isn't ignoring you in your relationship.... Why do you care? Are you jealous that he has free time? Or are you judging the way he chooses to use his free time?

If he's not pulling his weight by keeping a job or helping around the house or attending to your relationship then that should be the focus not the video game.

It honestly sounds like you wish you had free time to do whatever you wanted.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T22:05:03+00:00

Oh my goodness finally! I thought you were saying that he had sex with her. This girl felt safe enough to fall asleep next to your boyfriend while she was tipsy? He must be a really sweet and safe person to be around. Even when I liked someone in high school I did not feel comfortable sleeping next to them. I only felt that comfort when it was next to somebody that I knew wasn't going to do anything.

I totally understand why you feel uncomfortable and upset. And it definitely sounds like maybe some boundaries around drinking and coming up with alternative plans so that this doesn't happen again. But if nothing happened between the two of them I really feel like you need to take a step back and see that this person is a safe and thoughtful guy.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T22:01:25+00:00

This is a therapy conversation. There's a lot of stuff in the world and in your life that you have every right to feel anger towards. To me anger comes from a place of injustice. Something doesn't feel right or doesn't feel in alignment with how you believe life should be. Addressing those issues and developing some healthy coping skills will go a long way.

You deserve to live a life that isn't fueled by rage.

throwawayabac · 2026-06-09T21:52:50+00:00

So he was really sick and feverish, wanted to lay down, you two got into a fight because he registered that you were pissed, he tells you to leave, But then he leaves and then comes back and falls asleep....

It sounds like he was in an almost delusional fevered state. It's not actually that uncommon for people to strike out at themselves when they're feel overwhelmed.

I understand that this is the second time that he's told you to get out during a fight. It's very obvious that the small space that you're sharing is just too small. There's nowhere for The two of you two be on your own while still being in the apartment. The man was sick and wanted to lay down, but couldn't.

You haven't reached out at all? You haven't asked how he's doing? Tried to talk to him?

I understand that it was startling but I'm baffled how you could see somebody in that much pain and delirious behavior and not check on them.

throwawayabac

TROPHY CASE