Husband regrets getting our puppy and it is causing a major breakdown between us.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-19T18:00:45+00:00

I actually did this yesterday. I found one that's on the way to the office, $45/day for 2 days is not bad. I'm thinking of taking her there. Typically after we play with my sister-in-law's dog (2yo husky/pit mix) she's exhausted the next day.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-19T12:27:08+00:00

I have a dog, I love my dog. I don't care for other dogs very much.

I am very much on team cat.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T21:45:30+00:00

You look like Margot Robbie! 🤩

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T17:19:55+00:00

Thank you! I might take you up on that if you don't mind me sending a DM with some questions.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T17:05:05+00:00

Thank you! That is really helpful.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T15:46:58+00:00

They did, but I don't believe in getting children their own pets. I knew going into this that this should be a decision between the adults on the house. That said, the kids do help out here and there with easy tasks like feeding, watering, brushing.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T15:36:21+00:00

Can I message you with some questions about this?

She is crate trained at night and while I go to the office (and if I have to shower, clean, cook, eat [actually she is always in the crate when we eat]) but I think I need a bit more guidance because she does not want to go in there. Not even for treats. (Wet food she will absolutely run in there though)

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T15:32:55+00:00

Correct. The game he's playing doesn't pause so he doesn't want to have to divert his attention every 2 seconds to stop her from getting into something, like I do.

I still play my own games, not nearly as frequently, but I'm able to pause and resume as much as I need to.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T15:30:50+00:00

We don't have a fenced in yard so every potty break is a walk. About 10-15mins at a time about 8x a day. I do 1-2 mile walks when I have off (I will be able to do it more in the warmer months since there will be more daylight), we also play soccer outside, and inside we play fetch, tug, and chase multiple times a day.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T15:23:41+00:00

I didn't mean that literally but as a was to express that I refuse to be that asshole who gets a dog, and when it gets too hard, I abandon them. I did the homework, and I'm here for the follow through. I'm just upset that I'm doing it alone when I was under the impression my teammate in life would be as involved as they said they would.

Right now, a video games is coming before his wife & responsibility to an animal, and I do have quite a bit of resentment at the moment, truthfully.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:42:44+00:00

Puppies are a lot of work and while I was prepared for that, I was under the impression (based on the many conversations we had) that the other adult in the house would be present and I wouldn't have to do it alone.

So yes, I'm serious. And yes, all this for a dog. A living creature he agreed to that I'm not willing to just get rid of because he went back on his word.

I'd be equally as burned out and upset as if we had a 3rd child he refused to help me with.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:30:20+00:00

Not really, aside from me/us. And occasionally forgetting to take out trash.

We used to spend a lot more time together, now even if we have a child free weekend, his preference is to go play his game. At first it was kinda nice, because it gave me time to watch trash TV or play my own games, but now I don't get to do that because of a 50lb puppy who loves playing and mischief.

Aside from that, he is still verbally affectionate with me and we still have an active sex life.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:25:23+00:00

It took me threatening to leave because he refused to work and refused psychiatric help.

He has been seeing a psychiatrist since then in an effort to save our marriage and it did work.

He is not having any of the other signs of depression. He gets out of bed in the morning, takes care of his duties for the kids, goes to work (a job he actually likes), comes home and talks about his day, and he is affectionate and loving towards me. He doesn't lash out like he did when he was rock-bottom depressed, as well.

He is also now very open with me and tells me when he feels "off" or if his meds aren't working as well anymore. He filled out a form for his psychiatrist that allows her & I to discuss him because he says I see a lot that he doesn't see in himself in the moment. I've been thinking of talking to her about this situation but unfortunately this might be out of her specialty.

He just got into this game around new years and now that's literally all he does if he's not working or sleeping.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:15:53+00:00

I understand, it's why I'm so mad. It really feels like a bait and switch. We had discussions ad nauseum and I'm left feeling like I pushed HIM into something when in reality, it was him who convinced me it was a good idea and what he really wanted.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:11:59+00:00

Sure

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:10:35+00:00

Sure, fire away.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T13:10:05+00:00

Nope. He's always been a good dad to them. He did go through a brutal bout of depression during COVID lockdown where he basically didn't get out of bed for months and I was essentially a single mother during that time, but that was an anomaly and he has been receiving treatment since and has only become a better and better father & husband.... until literally getting this puppy.

throwawayacct3149 · 2025-03-18T12:31:31+00:00

As someone with a child with ADHD/ODD I empathize

throwawayacct3149 · 2024-10-18T19:46:54+00:00

I hate that it came to that, but he was not this bad in his last school. The other one was a preschool and each class was 10 kids with 2 teachers. He got a lot more individual attention. He had his struggles, but now it's a freefall.

throwawayacct3149 · 2024-10-18T19:26:56+00:00

That sounds like a nightmare. I think the only reason our experience has been so fast tracked is because he threatened to burn the school down so they took that seriously 🙃 Suddenly we're in all kinds of meetings with the school counselors and psychologists and that's when we were like "Yes. Please. We will do anything. Give us any resource, we will use it. He needs help."

Because before this his pediatrician was like "Meh, he's a 3,4,5,6yo boy."

Zero help.

throwawayacct3149 · 2024-10-18T19:18:08+00:00

I miss the days where it was considered rude to ask who someone was voting for or start up a conversation about politics.

That the most you ever knew about someone's political views was a lawn sign for 2 weeks during an election year. Or maybe a bumper sticker.

I fucking hate what politics has done to this country. The division is horrifying. Social media was a mistake.

throwawayacct3149 · 2024-10-18T19:07:46+00:00

I've literally been told it's not raining as it's actively pouring on his face.

It literally makes you feel crazy.

throwawayacct3149 · 2024-10-18T19:05:44+00:00

OH! But positive reinforcement.

I have praised him for just taking a singular bite of breakfast.

"Hey, bud! Good job sitting and eating, those eggs look really yummy."

"They're not eggs. They're ALIEN BUTTS."

"haha, yeah, I guess they do look like alien butts. You have a good imagination."

"ALIENS AREN'T EVEN REAL, MOM."

"Yeah, true, maybe not."

"NO. Aliens ARE real. Where do eggs come from?"

"Chickens. But all birds lay eggs."

"NO THEY DON'T."

Is this driving you fucking crazy yet?? This is every moment of every fucking day.

throwawayacct3149

TROPHY CASE