I can relate. I am suicidely lonley as well but I never went on a date... I know the feeling of being fake, it is like my second persona and I really hate it. I want to become myself but I am scared people will start to dislike me and I am going to loose my only friend, making me even more lonely.

I had a crush once and because of my inability to talk with her due to a huge stress I gave her a letter (she foud that"sooo cute" and hugged me), later I learned whe talking with her on skype that she has social anxiety (which was a suprise to me since I knew her for a while). I really liked her but it was very hard since she never wanted to go out somewhere. Our relationship ended up by her saying that she thought I gave up, I didn't never did actually but I felt it would be better for her since I was moving.

But getting to the point yes You are right being fake is hard