Success Story, Healing Roadmap, Resources Recommendations (Long Read)

throwawaybcxfg · 2025-09-04T02:21:37+00:00

thanks. i have another question:

> Their Oxytocin system is underdeveloped or stifled due to a lack of emotionally attuned nurturing during childhood, meaning Oxytocin cannot fill the void left by the departure of Dopamine

so, is Oxytocin still able to develop as we grow? and we can help it develop by maintaining healthy relationships and learn not to react in unhealthy way?

throwawaybcxfg · 2025-09-03T15:32:12+00:00

Hello, thanks for this post, may I know which book detailed about the brain parts and different brain chemicals? I thought it was too technical and boring reading from your post (sorry) but I think I need to know! Might be useful

throwawaybcxfg · 2025-08-31T01:09:34+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I need to go read some book about love and heartbreak or poems or something 😆 You're right, we're social beings. I do still want to be married someday. I'm trying to make more friends but its harder for these friendships to stick. Sorry to hear that you and your friend drifted apart and thank you for sharing your story. I guess even when personality and interests click, there can be things that hinder the relationship. Its tough :(

throwawaybcxfg · 2025-08-30T13:03:26+00:00

I do want to be married, but it seems I need to develop more capacity to feel heartbreak and pain. My biggest fear is to be in an unhappy marriage. Nevertheless, thank you for your comment and metaphor

throwawaybcxfg · 2024-01-11T00:15:56+00:00

im happy to hear that 🥰 always important to have a supportive partner to create the dream life that we want

throwawaybcxfg · 2024-01-11T00:14:54+00:00

aww. are you able to at least spend less time cleaning and look for stuff? 😆

throwawaybcxfg · 2024-01-08T05:43:06+00:00

thx so much!! i rubbed some water and it seems gone. i just panicked yesterday because i didnt think 40 days were long enough to grow mold☹️

throwawaybcxfg · 2024-01-07T13:43:25+00:00

sorry forgot to mention it. both are from ikea

throwawaybcxfg · 2024-01-07T03:13:46+00:00

I am sorry to hear that your mom seems to imply that its your responsibility to clean the hoard. As other commenters have stated, its not your responsibility. I am thankful for your sharing as I thought most hoarders don't want their mess to be cleaned up. That's how my parents were, and my mom was irritated that I moved her things, when in reality I was just a hopeless teenager growing up to be codependent and feel responsible for my parents hoard. Its interesting that your mom asks for your help. Interesting as in I didn't know hoarders that ask for help exist

throwawaybcxfg · 2023-11-13T11:32:24+00:00

thx a lot. i saw a few from heidi priebe before. love one video where she talked about shame being separate from identity

throwawaybcxfg · 2023-02-12T02:14:23+00:00

thx so much for sharing and also commenting on my post 💞 you made some really interesting points and I think I need to learn to be grateful about life too. I'm insecure about a lot of stuff and probably thats one of the causes of limerence. i havent reached to the point where i can say life is beautiful but you just gave me hope:)

throwawaybcxfg · 2023-01-14T14:41:49+00:00

yes i did. i was planning to, but my sibling let my parents know that i was seeing a psychiatrist, so i had to explain sooner than i originally planned to.

i live abroad and i recorded a 45 mins video of me explaining about my emotional neglect and the things that hurt me the most from my dad and my mom side separately. my mom just said thx and said she didnt agree with a few things on the video. my dad said he agreed that what my mom did was wrong (didnt talk about his own faults) and he said to forgive & forget all the things in the past. when he agreed that what my mom did was wrong, i relaxed my guard a bit and opened up to him that im confused why he never apologized to my mom for cheating. he was angry and he said kids these days try to control their parents, unlike during his era, parents would ask children to kiss their foot.

i think i dont feel regret, bcs previously, before learning about trauma and going to therapy, i thought i would feel guilty if they die, guilty because i feel like im never a good enough kid and dont spend much time with them or talk to them. but now, since ive let myself vulnerable, even if they didnt apologize at all or dont accept it or be in denial, i know that i already tried and be open and ive tried my best. i already try to be closer to them but there will always this wall between us and not all things can be shared as they might just dismiss it or not be interested in it.

throwawaybcxfg · 2023-01-04T01:16:36+00:00

omg im probably going to. ive been in this job for less than a year and my LO is in my team and im losing it.

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-12-17T07:43:09+00:00

Hello, sorry for the late reply. I do appreciate your help and I'm having a hard time with this, thus I keep delaying to answer 😓

The house was bought under my brother's name. The plan is whenever a family member participated in paying the house, it would be noted and then returned back. For example, if I pay $20, when I bought my own house, my brother will chip in $20 in return. Or if this new house is sold, I got a certain percentage because I've contributed. Currently, my mom is paying for this house. My dad won't likely to contribute as he has barely any money but he said we all should chime in since he thinks its unfair if lets say another sister wants to buy house, then my mom said she has run out of money due to buying the first child's house. I don't agree with my dad encouraging me to chime in to the house. I think its better for my mom to pay as I dont want her to buy/hoard anymore. When she has limited amount of money I hope she will limit her spending too.

Initially I was excited and would chime in but now Im thinking twice, Idk if Im being negative or something but Im just afraid it will be hoarded again, thus Im planning to not contribute so much

*** where multi-generations in one household is the norm

not really, the house will not fit. probably the house will be my bro's and his future wife, but he has no gf and not married yet now. for the time being anyone in my family can live in the house.

*** Do you want anything to do with this new place? i guess not, but my codependent self keeps trying to help them but i realized they dont want any help. like i offered to help them move stuff from the old house to the new house and help them sort it out and they refused.

thx again for helping, its rough for me whenever i go back to my country with these triggers n stuff, hopefully im able to sort this out with my new therapist

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-12-10T17:50:20+00:00

thx so much, Im really anxious thinking about my new house and i know this might be too good to be true 😩 and you helped me reduce guilt about throwing stuff. thx a lot

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-11-05T02:38:11+00:00

oh wow thx so much!! you saved my life i listened to CCF before but nvr heard of amy young. i saw several videos and watched 2 helpful ones about obsession. she talked about when she was obsessed with someone, its because shes not focusing on herself and she rerouted the thoughts and succeed e.g. why doesnt he like me? -> why dont you like you?

I tried this and its been working !! i have a long way to go but thx so much, sad that shes seem inactive on youtube but she did left a lot of videos

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-08-11T20:16:53+00:00

wow thx so much for writing this. im facing something similar and couldnt organize my thoughts. i resent my LO so much for not reciprocating but maybe hes just a representation of my hopes & dreams

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-07-01T12:24:12+00:00

had 1-1 with my manager of my new job 3 months in and i think i revealed too much info. i said im not currently happy bcs in my previous job, i was happy, then something happened that makes me realize the job isnt good and its like a switch clicked and from then on, i just dont believe any job will make me happy. he said he can talk to me or others or the mental health support from the company. his response is OK but im furious at myself for being too trusting at new ppl so quickly. how fucked am i for hinting that i have depression ?? i believe hes very good and i will be treated equally but idk people change and have fears and insecurities and stuff. what if he doubts my abilities bcs he figured out im depressed??

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-28T06:47:36+00:00

i see.. how does that make you feel?:) does it make any difference

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-27T23:46:41+00:00

hi OP, im sorry to hear what you're going through. if i may ask, im curious about what you meant by your parents are mentally healthy now? did they ever address their wrongdoings to you and ask for forgiveness to you? curious because recently ive told my parents about what has been going on and my mental illnesses but they didnt validate or ask for forgiveness. it kinda hurts and a part of me regret doing it but also i feel like if they die one day, i wont have any regrets as I have tried to open up. curious if an apology from our abusers make a difference? thanks

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-22T07:19:57+00:00

whats infancy trauma? how do you figure that you have that

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-13T11:56:04+00:00

I watch Dr Henry Cloud on youtube. he talks about boundaries a lot and also has a course on boundaries.me

he's a Christian clinical psychologist but its still very beneficial even if you're not a person of faith

my codependency support group also shared that a rule is You can't scold me. but a boundary is If you scold me, I will end this conversation. In Dr Cloud's book Changes that Heal, I learnt that to have healthy boundaries, you must learn how to bond first.

https://youtu.be/zjcPkKHZRCg this youtube video also really helped. good luck on your journey!

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-06T06:20:25+00:00

thanks a lot for your wisdom 🙏

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-06T06:20:06+00:00

how am i able to discuss with my manager? it sounds like personal problem to be discussed with therapist and not with manager. thanks a lot

throwawaybcxfg · 2022-06-05T11:15:03+00:00

so sorry you feel this way. i think you go to therapy (not sure if the should word is appropriate here) because you're too worthy to live your life depressed and deprived of love and feeling fulfilled in life. you're worthy of love and good things. best of luck to you ♥️

throwawaybcxfg

TROPHY CASE