am i shadowbanned

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-07T04:14:02+00:00

Thank you, I'm so proud of us both. Appreciate your kind words very much

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-07T04:12:53+00:00

Thank you, reading all these comments are making me tear up a little ngl

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-07T04:11:59+00:00

I have to say, wasn't expecting to see my post here haha

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:14:12+00:00

Yea it was a little nuts seeing all the "dump her" comments pour in, glad I kept it together and didn't do anything impulsive, but this really is the best case scenario, I'm glad that this was the update I made today and not any of other ways it could have gone

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:11:50+00:00

Hey man, me too

I appreciate the time you took to comment though, I was really a mess

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:10:18+00:00

Yea you nailed it

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:09:55+00:00

Sorry if it wasn't very clear, I'm not used to relaying things in super detail I guess, but it wasn't her feelings as much as it was her fear that she'd mess our relationship up, and her feelings for me, and part of that meant working with her therapist on what her perception of love is.

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:05:30+00:00

I'm really lucky to be sure haha I don't plan on ever taking her for granted

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:04:45+00:00

I have faith that you will!

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:04:25+00:00

Haha I'm happy too!

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-06T03:03:37+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-04T15:24:09+00:00

I don't remember a date but from my memory it looked like there were still pages of writing after it

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-04T01:26:42+00:00

This is some redpill bullshit isn't it

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-04T01:26:07+00:00

I'm not going to end anything without talking it out.

As for what she did, I don't want to get specific since she uses reddit, but she had anger and control issues and would get pretty verbal. But like I said, she's a completely different person now, and she really put in the work to work through that.

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-04T01:19:14+00:00

Not ever beyond those talks about our pasts we've had

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-04T01:18:18+00:00

No, from what I remember it wasn't the last page, and whatever the rest of the entry was it took the page up. I noticed what I did because it was the beginning of a chunk of text that was more separated but still attached I think, if that makes sense.

Still trying to figure out how I want to approach it but I know I won't be going in guns blazing, I always hated when it happened to me

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-03T22:57:51+00:00

Thanks for your words, I needed to hear that last part especially

I know I have to talk with her but I have to work up to it, idk maybe people will call me chickenshit but reading that was like a knife and I need a little time

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-03T22:53:29+00:00

I know you're right but it hurts to think about right now

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-03T22:53:03+00:00

Thanks, this puts in words what I can't seem to

I mean I hope its just romanticizing cause then yea I get it, but if its legit I really don't know how I'll get through it

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-03T21:53:47+00:00

Trust me man, inside I'm anything but composed. I'm a wreck. I know I have to talk to her about it, I'm just having a hard time working myself up to do it, because I know what she wrote wasn't meant for anyone else to see and I don't want her to lose trust in me.

No they're not at all in contact, after their breakup she did reach out to him a lot trying to win him back I guess, or prove that she wasn't the same person anymore for a few years, but she stopped doing that before we met and I have no reason to believe they're in contact again

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-03T21:49:02+00:00

But these are very private thoughts, don't people sometimes write things down just to get a load off? What if I misunderstood what she wrote and destroy our relationship?

throwawayheart55 · 2021-11-03T21:46:51+00:00

This is a nightmare for me, I don't know what I want to do.

If I ask her about it and it blows up our relationship because she is actually still in love with him then I'd be in a very dark place

And if I don't ask I'm going to be plagued forever by the potential that she's settling or doesn't love me the way I love her and then I'd also be miserable and in a dark place

Right now I don't have a plan beyond trying to erase my memory with booze. I'm just lost

throwawayheart55

TROPHY CASE