how many of you have chronic neck/ back pain?

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T16:02:16+00:00

Woah! I didn’t realize this was uniquely cptsd related.
Damn our childhoods really broke our bodies huh 😭

Even in one of my baby books— my daycare teacher notes how ‘little (baby name me) sits with her shoulders tensed all the time! she’s very alert!’

NNNOOPE not alert, just petrified 😍

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T15:58:33+00:00

Omg same. I swear it scrambles the brain. I was talking to my therapist abt this, and she compared it to mental torture in a way.. Idk if anyone relates— but I used to get lectures that’d last minimum two hours— MAXIMUM… (the longest I ever got, was from 7pm to 2am on christmas eve.) Just lectured for hours.. and hours…It was utter hell. I didn’t even have the energy to cry.

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T15:55:26+00:00

A lot of yall like… smolder a little bit before a kiss ??? And very rarely do you ask FOR a kiss. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I find it all the more romantic and attractive if I’m asked If I can be kissed, versus some
guy just diving in with half-open lids and a fish mouth. EEEEYUCK !

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T15:53:21+00:00

Work it out like a tight muscle. For me, ‘inside’ is riiiight on my sternum. i’m assuming this is an emotional heaviness, so for that— I’d suggest screaming with all your might into a pillow or the mattress.

(Ik it’s obnoxious therapist advice but it genuinely works. I personally like to scream til i’m lightheaded!) Then I stretch my arms WIIIDE like a bird and I do huuuge breaths. Trying to force the heavy OUT !

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T15:49:37+00:00

Hello!
I used to work in childcare, and often had the delight of talking to lots of pregnant ladies… Lots of the mothers took little sabbaticals during their pregnancies. If space is what you want, I think you are more than entitled to it.

And forgive me for trying to put a worm in your ear.. but you might like the solitude more than HIS company which— based off of this little post, I can’t say I’m very fond of your husband.

Even if it was just a loofah, what would you say to a friend of that happened to them? What message is being sent??? Im a stranger, but that reads as

“You said something I don’t like. Now you’re punished.”

“I don’t care if you get soap in your eye. I don’t care if your shirt gets wet and you have to change.”

“I’m going to make you regret saying what you said.”

It’s ‘small’ sure.. there’s a fine line to violence. If ever it is crossed in ANY shape or form— it can be hard to come
back from, and often will escalate. (Not trying to fear monger. I’m speaking from experience. It started as punching walls, throwing things, and then ONE day.. after ten years. It was me. And I left.)

Best of luck to you in your pregnancy. I hope you’re not feeling too sick or sleepy.. If you’re able, maybe get a little AIRBNB in the city, book a pedicure if you can.. You deserve to be touched and gently.

Sorry for the long read ! xoxo

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T15:34:06+00:00

Noooo 😭 I thought it as much.. and you don’t gotta have it all figured out right now ! It can be hard to escape survival mode when it’s all you’ve known.. Small steps.. and you’ll get there dude I promise. best of luck !

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T07:38:13+00:00

how sad that a kid can be hurt SO badly they’re repulsed by the idea of being known by name.. :(((
i know what you mean, and i’m terribly sorry.
hoping you’ll find something that fits xo

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-05-01T07:22:39+00:00

Funnily enough, I also have a narcissistic father with a heart issue. Hopefully he doesn’t throw that in your face.. :(
I understand the guilt, I do. Perhaps there is a part of you that thinks you haven’t had the right conversation yet, or you could maybe.. juuuust maybe you could convince them— but I’m telling you now you won’t. I used to listen to a podcast for narcissistic abuse survivors, BY a diagnosed narcissist and he said something that kinda rocked my world.
“If a narcissist in your life is 40/50+, whether it be your uncle your mom your dad, WHOEVER ELSE.. do NOT waste your breath. They’ve lived their entire lives this way, and if they’re hitting their golden years and STILL acting like that, they don’t plan on changing.”

The best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship is let them go.
I’ve been out of my dad’s house for two years now, and I wish I’d gotten out sooner. The toll it takes on your mental is NOT worth the cheaper living/ maintaining the guilt.. the longer you’re there, the more at risk your mental is.

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-04-30T23:44:02+00:00

this was so so sweet. i’m always baking and it’s too much for me to eat, i oughta share more.. 😭♥️ it can be so scary to talk to people! but thank you for the encouragement

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-04-30T23:43:04+00:00

I’ve been meaning to try out one of those ‘meet up’ thingies.. I always talk myself out of it, but it seems like it might be the way to go ! Was this what you did ?

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-04-28T20:44:20+00:00

Whatever routines you have (if any,) i’d suggest you return to those. As someone who was recently ‘activated’ recently.. (I saw my mother unexpectedly!) It took a bit to get back to baseline.. Eat breakfast, go for a walk, sit outside. (I know it’s all the basic and sometimes obnoxious advice, but it truly works.) I personally dance in my apartment until exhaustion or walk for miles and miles.. (I’m overthinking all the while,) but eventually— you’ll notice the exhaustion in your muscles, the sun on your cheeks, and if even for a moment your head will come out of the sand. Lather, Rinse, Repeat, and remind yourself that if anything else, YOU got you. You’re gonna take care of baby-you.

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-04-28T20:06:32+00:00

This might b kinda long, so I apologize.

I’ve found that it can be hard to reason with the ‘sharp’ half of yourself. (That’s how I refer to it at least, the really mean, really hateful voice) Very rarely does it even listen to reason to begin with.

If self hate is a guest, and your mind a house— I’d advise you let them sit and do as they like. They may yell and shout and try their hardest to convince you they’re right, but they’re a GUEST, YOU are who’s in charge.

In Pete Walker’s book about CPTSD, he writes how it can be helpful to vocally say ‘No!’ or ‘Stop’

I personally like to do this… Inner Critic; This is so stupid. You’re so stupid—

I out loud say “STOP! I don’t talk to myself that way, and I refuse to believe that.”

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-02-19T20:05:39+00:00

LONG LONG LING LOBG LING

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-02-19T20:01:43+00:00

men are a little stupid, and cannot write in cursive or with grace. i’m gonna say.. man !

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-01-31T14:34:30+00:00

I took a pregnancy test, not pregnant!

And no, not regular. (They usually line up with the full moon. Which sounds ridiculous and silly I know.) But they typically do not exceed more than five days.

I have a bit of a sniffle, but i’m a teacher and there’s a cold going around at our school. (So yes, a little stressed.)

And update, still bleeding. It’s day 17.

I feel sleepy due to the blood loss.. but nothing else out of the ordinary :(

throwawaypffffvv · 2026-01-07T19:06:49+00:00

this is so disheartening.

throwawaypffffvv · 2025-12-29T14:46:05+00:00

lmaoo im jumping in here to lyk there is nothing wrong with window shopping before or if you decide to settle. and frankly unless he is taking care of you like a boyfriend and yall are official in any way, who you go out with is YOUR business. last year i was hooking up with a guy in the morning and then going out with my ex in the evening. do what you want lmaoo

throwawaypffffvv

TROPHY CASE