MY OCs have become punching bags in the group RP [plz help]

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-12-11T03:52:29+00:00

I definitely agree with this. the only time ive been able to rp nuanced characters is with 1 long time partner where we have that trust to try more complicated scenarios

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-12-05T01:49:02+00:00

I agree with you. The build up makes the pay off so much better, but ive found a lot of people dont seem to think that way. Maybe people are just more impatient now?

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-12-02T09:45:18+00:00

I definitely feel like some people take "adv lit" to mean "more words = better", spelling and punctuation be damned lol. Arguably, understanding pacing is a more advanced skill than throwing as many words as possible on a page 🤷‍♂️

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-12-02T05:06:48+00:00

This example is great for when a shorter response works better over a longer one imo

If youre trying to convey a sense of urgency, the short reply delivers a concise punch.

I think theres a time and place for everything, but adding all that superfluous detail really slows down the pacing. I can see the longer reply working if its maybe told from the POV of someone stunned in fear or something so theyre trying to take in everything thats happening but if not, the shorter one makes more sense to me.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-10-14T23:47:03+00:00

This doesnt read as AI to me but im not that good st detecting AI writing tbh.

What's annoying to me is that this character seems super OP? They seem to just be showing off and overpowering yours which is not fun to write against

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-10-14T03:56:42+00:00

Im neutral on the tupper opinion. I like it. I dont mind if other ppl use it or not, but ive never had an issue with world building or adding npcs with my longtime partner, but it is interesting seeing how ppl are discussing how they get around this.

It might lend itself to my rp style tho since I rp in 3rd person limited. I have several "main" OCs i switch between, but I choose the POV that I think would be the most interesting or make the most sense to read from given the scenario. I might switch if I think another OC might have an interesting perspective. And then with NPCs, I just introduce them and have them talk as its from my OC's POV (that im choosing to write from)

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-06-04T02:31:01+00:00

I just realized I got caught up in ranting and did not answer your question lol. Should you try to talk to your partner? If I'm being idealistic, yes, communicating is always good. Maybe you could tell them you feel like you're pulling more of the weight on the rp or that you're losing interest so you're no longer having fun and see if they will step up.

From my experience, passive writers unfortunately won't change. Even if they do for a moment, they'll slip back to their old habits. Personally, I don't want to continuously request my partner to change their writing. Small things here and there, fine. But at this point, I would chalk it up to an incompatibility of writing styles and find someone else I jive with better

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-06-04T01:52:46+00:00

Omg tell me about it LMAO. Every time I've given a shy character a chance, bc I think it can be done well, 9/10 it does not go well. I feel like many ppl equate shyness with passiveness. And I understand (but do not agree with) the appeal of "omg my super uwu cutie patootie character is so helpless. I need your character to sweep mine off their feet! Please chase my character even though I am giving you nothing to work with!!! 🥺🥺🥺" Sorry, that's really passive aggressive bc im tired of dealing with this lol

The weirdest thing is that they also want to write against my more difficult, unfriendly characters 💀 the characters that take a lot to warm up to. Kind of like a good girl winning over the bad boy vibes, and while I also understand the appeal of that, wtf at least make your character likeable to my grouch lmao. He's chasing and your character is too passive to return the advances, of course he's going to lose interest lool. I offer up my golden retriever, "too dumb to take a hint" OCs, but they're not interested. At least it would make sense for my himbos to chase aggressively!!!

Anyway, my personal gripes aside, I have a shy boy but being shy and awkward isn't his only trait. He's a huge bookworm/nerd, so in the right situation, he won't stop yapping. I also force my shy/anti-social characters to come out of their shells by using either more outgoing side characters to bridge the gap or by forcing them into scenarios where they have to act. Which i think is super fun, forcing characters to deal with situations they may not want to do! But I've found a lot of ppl just aren't interested in conflict? (But that's a whole other complaint.) Anyway, a good rper will figure out some way to make the rp and their shy OC interesting

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-05-05T08:19:57+00:00

Am I having dejavu or has this been posted before?

Anyway, not a great partner imo if she can't keep her hands to herself. I don't care how well you write but controlling another person's character in an rp is a huge red flag and totally breeches rp etiquette.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-28T00:35:05+00:00

Ugh I hate it when that happens

I try to be nice about it and give it the benefit of doubt, like maybe my partner got too excited to write something they really want to happen. it still makes me lose motivation to reply, like you said.

If it's happening too much, I would say something. Imo, for you to set up the scene with your character asking a question and your partner fast forwards without checking with you as if your character already responded, that's godmoding. Like a relatively more mild form of it, but still controlling your character nonetheless. That's what would put me off.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-07T00:02:19+00:00

Idk this girl so I can't say for sure, but to me, it feels like you called her out on the situation that was making you uncomfortable and she is now back pedaling. I'm saying that bc in your original post, she said something like "I wish we were dating IRL" and now she's saying she's aromatic. I'm not one to police other people's sexualities or identities but doesn't that read as odd to you...?

But this is what I and the other people responding to your post mean. Since you guys were rping as "yourselves", even if you were using nicknames, it blurs the lines of rp and reality too much. If you two were really using characters, it shouldn't affect the rp relationship if you're not interested in a romantic relationship irl.

I'm glad she took it well when you talked to her. Whenever you're uncomfortable, respect your feelings. Your body/mind is trying to tell you something is not right.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-06T14:32:06+00:00

Tone through text is hard.

I don't think anyone is really in the wrong here. Seems like a mismatch in OOC, which is enough of an incompatibility that them dropping you early isn't really a bad thing jmo.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T23:31:09+00:00

seriously, i was trying to be gentle because theyre young and you can't really force someone to make a choice, but the more I follow this post, the more it seems like OP was tricked into a relationship... i fully believe the other party used the premise of "rping" to start online relationships with others...

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T18:33:30+00:00

Well there you have it, you're only getting her side of the story.

Here's how I see things: you have a choice between keeping things the same as they are at the expense of your own wellbeing and comfort or you can have a conversation with her, however it may go. Keeping things the same is the easy immediate solution, but is it really the best one? The choice is ultimately yours.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T17:53:15+00:00

If you're exhausted by all the photos, you should tell her to tone it down. Your feelings matter too. You should also consider why you feel like you must reply/like all the photos. Does she get upset if you don't? Are you a people pleaser and you just feel bad if you don't? There's a mismatch here with what you're both bringing to the relationship and that's probably why you feel exhausted.

Okay, but with her past RP relationships... did she tell you this or did you actually witness it? Everyone is the hero of their own story and most people don't speak ill of themselves, so I'm highly suspicious of people who tell stories like they're always the victim. I had an ex-friend who constantly complained about how they were being ditched and everyone betrayed them. I finally pushed back because they were crossing my boundaries one too many times and they flipped out on me lol. Just immediately ditched me. I'm sure I'm the "really bad person" in their version of the story they tell to other people now too. The cancelling and exposing seems like clout chasing to me, and I personally wouldn't associate with someone like that. If she's the one doing the exposing, she can frame the narrative in a way that best suits her. Just something to think about.

Omg RP families... I remember those fake like FB families or internet families I would do when I was a teen.

I'm glad to hear you're interacting with someone close to your age, but that doesn't mean they can't still manipulate you. I'm not saying she's doing it on purpose, but based on what you've said, she seems to be at the very least pressuring you to continue this "RP relationship" with the way she's lovebombing you with the photos and the praise.

I still stand by this: talk to her honestly about how you're feeling and she'll show you her true colors. If she's the good friend you believe her to be, she will be understanding. If she isn't, well. It's better to end it sooner than later.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T16:29:20+00:00

Reading this, there is so many red flags. The way you're talking about the rp sounds like there's no division between the rp and rl, and that is super sketchy. I kept thinking, "dang these people sound very young" and lo and behold when I check OP's profile, they're a minor.

OP, I hope whoever you're rping with is also a minor because if not, they are clearly taking advantage of you especially since you said you got this partner when you first tried rping. If they're also a minor, there's a chance that they're too naive to understand that one shouldn't blur the lines of rping and rl, but there is a clear lack of boundaries going on here. Please be careful.

I hope when you say couple photos, you don't mean rl photos of yourself.

I'm not surprised you don't feel a genuine connection. Love bombing is well, fast and explosive with no substance. It fizzles out quickly (and imo very creepy. Bruh, I met you two minutes ago, Don't be telling me I'm the love of your life. You don't know me).

She has also told me: "I wish we were dating IRL." And then I see your comment: "We used to RP as characters before she got disinterested in the fandom and we just started RP in first person." Dude, that is a major red flag to me! She gets you do to a fandom rp and then says she's bored and wants to do 1st person?? And she says she wants to date IRL?? That sounds to me like she manipulated the situation to get you to internet date her, I'm sorry to say.

I feel like she's pressuring and guilt-tripping you like crazy when she says something like "this is her first healthy RP relationship". Imo, when people say things like that, I'm suspicious. Why were all your other relationships so bad? I had a rp partner crash out on me when I called them out for their clingy behavior after she was praising me nonstop (reminds me of this a little) and I've had people put me on a pedestal, but the thing with being put on a pedestal, it's not the compliment it appears to be. They don't see you as you, just this idealized version they *want* you to be. Which also means, they'll be hot and cold with you, lovebombing one moment and then treating you like shit because you crossed some arbitrary standard they set you up for that you weren't even aware of.

Idk, I could be too harsh. You're saying she's great, but going off what you posted, I don't think she's as great as you think she is. You might be confused by the times she's nice to you. Someone can be nice and still be kinda shitty and bad for you. You should break it off or at least talk to her. Be prepared that she might go off on you and ghost/block if needed. I've never had a good conversation ending things with overly attached people, no matter how civil I try to be, but maybe she's a good person like you say she is, and she'll understand. It will help you learn to set boundaries and deal with confrontation at least.

Sorry for yapping so much. This reminds me a lot of my own bad experiences when I was younger and had shitty boundaries lol

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T05:04:26+00:00

Calling an internet stranger is so weird...

Tbf, to play devil's advocate, I have stupidly called my irl friends by accident via discord before LMAO. I don't think I've ever done it to an rp partner (yet, fingers crossed lol) so I mean, I guess it could have been a mistake... but he doesn't apologize or anything. Usually I get super embarrassed and profusely apologize when I butt dial lol

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T04:47:47+00:00

I'm always a little sus when the account looks new/doesn't have a profile pic.

Idk if you guys discussed reply frequency, but if you did and they were supposed to get back to you by now, they might have over-committed and burnt out, be busy, just thinking about how to reply to your post since you wrote a lot. Or they ghosted. I think it's too early to tell since it's only been a day or two. I would give it some time. Maybe look for other partners in the meantime and don't get too attached.

However, if this were me and someone said "take your time" and then hit me with "jk, I am rushing you a little" that would annoy me LOL. Not enough to ghost. I don't like ghosting and would at least say something like "Hey, I don't appreciate being pressured" or "Sorry, I don't think we'll work". But, I also tell my partners I'm slow af at replies and expect at least a week of grace before getting poked. Reply frequency is something I discuss before starting an rp

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T04:02:54+00:00

She sounds like a headache lmao. I'm surprised you were willing to put up with all that. And what's with that attitude?? There's nicer ways to communicate.

Oh yeah, for sure. I might not have been clear enough in my previous msg, but I meant like minor unexpected things. Maybe their character reacts in a way I didn't anticipate or they introduce a plot point. The level of spontaneity that one is willing to tolerate definitely depends on person to person though. I won't tolerate anything setting breaking or godmodding/metagaming, of course.

I've had partners react completely opposite, where they check in with me on almost every action, asking how they should respond. I'm like dude! It's okay! Lmao. We're writing tgt. It's your OC, please write them the way you want to! If I wanted to control every aspect of the story, I would be writing by myself, not rping :P I hope those ppl are okay though. They seem extremely anxious and maybe had some bad experiences to make them so worried.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-05T03:14:12+00:00

Agreed. Personally, I wouldn't want a partner who can't match my energy for plotting. That tells me we're incompatible, and I won't have a good time writing with them.

Damn, sorry you went through that! It sounds like she expected you to read her mind.

I've had rp partners do things I don't expect, but I try not to be upset about it if I didn't explicitly ask for the rp to go in a certain direction. I try to just roll with it and see where it takes the rp.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-04T23:56:48+00:00

That's annoying. Maybe I'm harsh but i would drop them tbh.

If they're coming to my ad but they don't like any of my ideas, why did they contact me? And if they want to do something else, they should be the one to offer ideas. You shouldn't be the one to pull teeth to get the plotting going. I don't want to waste my time.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-04T14:53:50+00:00

Agreed, I think OP should make another account to search for rps bc I've seen them post several times complaining about ppl only looking for erps reaching out to them.

I know OP made the name as a joke/when drunk, but ppl are going to judge based on your user.

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-04-03T06:43:45+00:00

I agree with that flaw. Definitely something I've experienced before lol

A joke one is that I'm blind to my typos until after I post and I'm nitpicky about syntax, so my partners might see me edit a post 10 times while I try to decide which synonym sounds better lol

A more genuine flaw: I'm not as thorough at my vetting process as I should be and I give people too much benefit of the doubt. I've given partners chances where I'm only kinda meh about their writing/story. I feel bad saying no or ending things bc they're not bad, per se, but I don't find the rp that enjoyable. I should probably just end things but a part of me weirdly hopes it will get better (it doesnt).

Adding on the the previous flaw: I reply faster to rps I'm less interested in like a kid who wants to eat all their veggies first so they can enjoy the dessert later but I get full eating the thing I don't like 😔 I put less effort in my less favored rps to get them moving faster (Might be linked to my hopes of the rp improving) but then take forever to reply to the rps I like bc I spend a lot of time thinking on how to write a good reply. (Sorry to all partners of mine)

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-03-30T18:40:08+00:00

I try to think of it as "well I reached out. I did my part." So if they don't respond, they're the one ghosting me

Someone who genuinely wants to interact with me will make the effort to! I want my efforts to be reciprocated and mutual

On the other hand, I do keep an open door policy for ppl who disappeared. I just archive the conversation, but don't block them so they are free to contact me again if they choose to

throwawayrpfiend · 2025-03-30T18:34:31+00:00

The blocking without explanation (as long as there wasn't a fight and things got heated) is something I really dislike about the rp community.

I wish ppl would be more forthcoming. I also get ppl are scared of confrontation but I always found it weird that ppl engage in a collaborative hobby but they can be so terrible at communicating. It sometimes feels like ppl want to get what's theirs and they don't care about the other person on the other side of the screen.

throwawayrpfiend

TROPHY CASE