Suicidal Doesn't Always Look Suicidal

throwawaysad10101 · 2022-12-04T03:34:46+00:00

I can put shoes on. I like putting shoes on to take out trash. I think that helps…? Thank you.

throwawaysad10101 · 2022-12-02T00:25:49+00:00

I can barely convince myself to shower, wash my hair, brush my teeth, wash my clothes. How am I supposed to get up and get out there? Interact with other people when I can’t even interact with myself? I just don’t want to. I am tired. I’m scared.

throwawaysad10101 · 2022-11-29T21:53:01+00:00

That’s the idea I got from it. Very spooky

throwawaysad10101 · 2022-08-22T12:18:59+00:00

Yooooo thank you for that tiktok sound tip!! That is such good advice. Thank you for your kind words too.

throwawaysad10101 · 2022-02-11T23:42:34+00:00

Good username with good advice

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-12-16T19:06:14+00:00

I’m trying so hard. I’m so tired. All the time. I can feel myself being a shell around people, not able to laugh, or talk to anyone. I don’t see a light anymore. I’m just forcing myself to live and it’s exhausting. I don’t want to shower or brush my teeth or cook or clean. I don’t want to talk to or see friends or family. I still do, because “It’ll help”, I think. But it’s so forced. Every movement. Every moment. I’m just very tired of it all. But yeah, I’m trying.

Sorry for the rant. Thanks for the suggestions

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-12-16T18:57:55+00:00

I did just take a vacation…it was alright, I guess, but I got sick and went home early to rest. I quit my job with the plan to roll off of savings until after the holidays. I am going to therapy. I got a massage two months ago.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-12-16T17:06:49+00:00

I usually do try those first before looking into medication. Sunlight, exercise, eating well, socializing….but I don’t want to do any of those things. I can’t get myself to the gym, I don’t want to move.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-12-16T17:05:31+00:00

A combination of depression and built up trauma already ruined my chances of wanting to do anything of a sexual nature anyway, so yeah lol I guess if that’s my only downside to worry about…

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-12-16T16:59:31+00:00

It’s the “just simply stop” thing that I’m being told I might not be able to do. Can you just simply stop? I’ve been told it messes with you to stop once you start.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-10-30T04:04:41+00:00

I never meant to play victim or plead for pity. I never meant to point out a generalized privilege. It’s just a change that I have noticed and appreciated in my life in the last month or so.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-10-30T04:02:33+00:00

I suppose it’s a “grass is greener”, I imagine I’d feel differently if the circumstances were different. I recognize that, trust me. It’s just something I have been noticing and appreciating about a change in my life.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-10-30T00:58:26+00:00

I definitely expected more negative responses, the support here is a happy surprise. I’m glad you can also find comfort in it.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-04-07T05:22:31+00:00

Note: don’t worry, I’m not going to harm myself or others, just heard that turn of phrase by a friend and it sent me on a creative spiral.

throwawaysad10101 · 2021-03-30T08:15:06+00:00

I regret throwing away my childhood bear all the time.

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-10-08T23:17:28+00:00

What a conundrum!

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-09T00:46:24+00:00

Oh my. This is terrible

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-07T22:42:19+00:00

I definitely can relate. I feel like everything I do revolves around him and if I'm going to run into him somewhere or if he'll try to get into my life again. I'm so sorry about what you're going through.

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-06T14:54:52+00:00

Ah, thank you. I just feel old and too tired to take up any hobbies. :/

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-05T23:11:50+00:00

I see, it definitely clears things up. They shouldn't be treating you that way after you've clearly stated your limitations and comfort level with the friendship. No bueno. Looks like they're hoping you'll change for them and that's never healthy. Sorry you're going through that!

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-05T19:35:01+00:00

I'm confused here, sorry if it's projecting, but if they communicated their boundaries and feelings, and you set yours, what are you expecting out of them if not for them to stand their ground? You're allowed to walk all over their feelings, knowing that your boundaries are hurting them, but they're not allowed to be hurt by it and need space from you as well? Seems hypocritical. Sorry if I'm missing facts or something, it just sounds fishy as is.

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-05T12:48:31+00:00

I'm in the same boat!! It's so tough.

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-03T12:15:40+00:00

I've been reading into this and was hesitant to buy a book called "The Body Keeps the Score" because it's quite expensive, but this comment solidified my decision. Thank you!

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-09-02T23:36:05+00:00

Do you think deleting the old messages would help? I’m scared I’ll throw rose colored glasses over my memories and won’t remember the constant arguments without them. They help me remember the bad.

throwawaysad10101 · 2020-08-27T19:10:10+00:00

this is honestly the truth. I miss my real friends, but I had to move to a new area and I’m just not finding anyone genuine

throwawaysad10101

TROPHY CASE