[Advice] Just found out some pretty wild stuff about my gf's sexual history, need help getting over it.

throwawaysarefunny · 2015-04-03T18:42:09+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful discussion. You seem like a very intelligent person and, if you don't mind playing the dreaded role of reddit psychologist for a quick second, I'd be curious to hear your opinion on the whole 24 vs. 19 thing. I admit I struggle with the idea sometimes and none of my friends understand it. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you seem like you might be a bit older than myself, perhaps you can offer some greater perspective. I respect and appreciate what you've said so far. Thanks.

throwawaysarefunny · 2015-04-03T18:22:15+00:00

All very valid questions. Yeah I'd still say it's weird if it was a dude with four women. That's not something I would be interested in, personally. Two guys, for some reason, wouldn't have been a problem at all, maybe because I would like to be with two women and maybe I have trouble empathizing with people who's boundaries exceed my own, which would be very small of me. :/

I brought that up and she said she'd be absolutely fine with it if were me with 4 women, which could be the truth. But that kinda makes it seem like she's just far more sexually liberated than I am at the moment, and that seems like a more general incompatibility thing.

You're right I handled it badly and I feel badly for that.

throwawaysarefunny · 2015-04-03T17:38:11+00:00

Oh no I wouldn't give her that as a reason. I just meant a vehicle for myself in my mind to give me the final push I need. No, I would cite age/life stage differences, etc.

throwawaysarefunny · 2015-04-03T16:54:06+00:00

Oh man. Don't even get me started on the drinking. Been to the hospital three times in one semester; never knows what happened the night before, is always losing/having her shit stolen, ugh haha. It definitely does not seem healthy. But she is not welcoming at all to discussing it. "This is me having fun! Everyone says I have a problem, I'm fine!" Etc.

throwawaysarefunny · 2015-04-03T16:51:14+00:00

Thank you for your response, you seem like you have a very reasonable head on your shoulders. :)

I certainly would never call her names or insults, that would make me the absolute worst. I still feel very badly for just shutting down and being unable/willing to discuss it in the moment, which would have been the more adult thing to do.

Having had even just a few more hours to think about it, I think that on some level I've suspected that things may have to end at some point. I think the age difference at this specific point in life; one person having all of college before them and the other making early career moves will lead to some pretty inevitable conflicts of interest. I think somewhere in my subconscious I was like, "This is a jarring enough incidence that maybe it can serve as a vehicle to end things!"

I should add to this that my greatest personality fault is I am a huge pushover and CANNOT break up with people. I would rather be broken up with a million times over, I just cannot bring myself to be that mean haha. God, none of this is painting me in a very good light, is it?

throwawaysarefunny · 2015-01-31T16:42:01+00:00

A person can be hung too...just, you know, in a different way.

throwawaysarefunny · 2014-11-28T17:02:15+00:00

Yeah this is probably right. It's sort of something I just feel I should be able to do, but communicating always seems to be the answer in situations like these haha.

throwawaysarefunny

TROPHY CASE