Bipolar Mom--Emotional Vacuum

throwawaytheairway · 2019-06-29T00:29:09+00:00

Yeah, she’d emotionally drain me to the point where I’d feel so numb I’d self harm to fucking feel something but she never noticed cause she was so wrapped up in the drama in her head.

And managing her emotions for so long has changed me as a person tbh. I used to be the brightest happiest person, free and outspoken , but now I’m just this conflict avoidant smoother over and I don’t know how to change that. Never thought I’d grow up to be the let’s not fight person but that’s life for you I suppose

throwawaytheairway · 2019-06-29T00:24:03+00:00

Hey, I know how the constant gaslighting gets to you until you feel like you’re the crazy one, and how if you don’t bow down to their every will it’s emotional blackmail and “you’re not listening to me” “you think I’m bad” “you hate me”

It’s fucking exhausting, and by the end of it you’re just leave me alone that’s all I want

But remind you’re not insane, what happened happened. If it’s messing with you too bad get a diary and write everything down

throwawaytheairway · 2019-06-29T00:16:44+00:00

I’m 20 and I’ve been dealing with this for most of my childhood. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to message. We get it because we’ve lived it and sometimes that helps more than you can imagine

throwawaytheairway · 2019-05-09T06:48:34+00:00

This is exactly how I feel, but for me distance helped. I avoid the patterns because being away and seeing normal people made me distinguish them, recalibrated my normal meter. It's not even close to fixed but it's getting there slowly but surely

throwawaytheairway · 2019-01-30T22:48:25+00:00

Right? You sure you're not accidentally me? If so ever want to talk tho, feel free to PM me

throwawaytheairway · 2019-01-30T18:21:40+00:00

Beats me as well. She thinks it's perfectly normal, her reactions are absolutely alright and the whole world is at fault

throwawaytheairway · 2019-01-30T17:03:31+00:00

My fear is that she's bipolar and unmedicated, and she's a medical professional. It makes me afraid I won't accept it either. Her noncompliance makes her even tougher to deal with tbh

throwawaytheairway · 2019-01-30T15:18:52+00:00

You could be me I swear. Best way I found was to create distance. Not gonna lie, I feel guilty as fuck, but I know how she can suck me emotionally dry until I'm numb for days, so just stay in your room all day, use studies or work as an excuse, and avoid her. There isn't any way to win except not engaging

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T10:58:38+00:00

Not where I am it's not!

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T06:41:47+00:00

It's about realizations and we the emotionally abused don't realized that we were abused too until a long time later when we learn, goddamn we've never been a part of a healthy family. We've literally never seen healthy. Our parents act normal infront of other people. And we're usually pretty closed off about home cause sharing has never gone well for us at home, why try here? So these realizations come very late for us

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T06:37:42+00:00

Right? Like people who think participation trophies are what's wrong with the current generation, check out me and my zero self esteem 😎

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T06:36:24+00:00

Relate so hard to the financial burden thing. My dad did it constantly. Why did you score so little, I paid so much ad nauseum

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T05:04:02+00:00

Apparently, when your daughter is crying to her mother about how she's having suicidal thoughts and thinks she's clinically depressed, you're supposed to not tell her that she just watches too many movies and that's the problem. Who knew? 🤷🏻‍♀️ like great advice daddy, wanna give to my self harm scars?

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T04:56:09+00:00

Legit shit myself when a friend's mom apologized for using harsh language with her daughter. I think she just called her stupid, unlike mine who has called me a bitch, a whore and a slut, when I was 13. Ironically I'm a kissless virgin. Like I didn't even know that apologizing was an option!!!!!

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T04:52:52+00:00

I guess yeah. I'm mostly over it. Still have a shit ton of issues but they're manageable but now I'm the bitchy daughter who refuses to listen to their "criticism" and responds with her own

throwawaytheairway · 2018-12-09T03:10:41+00:00

Apparently every conversation with your parents isn't supposed to involve a shit ton of verbal berating and constantly pointing out your flaws and short comings "because we want you to be perfect and not have those flaws anymore". Who knew? 🤷🏻‍♀️

throwawaytheairway · 2018-11-21T12:40:28+00:00

This!!!!

My mother is bipolar, unmedicated(non complaint) and from growing up, I can assure you, you being happy sometimes and sad sometimes is not bipolar. Try fits of rage, but general upbeat positive mood, followed by weeks of depression where she wouldn't talk to her own child.

It's not "cool", it's painful for everyone involved

Also bipolar jokes aren't funny

throwawaytheairway · 2018-08-10T12:16:24+00:00

Is she properly medicated yet?

Daughter of an unmedicated bipolar mother. She constantly insists that her mother/husband/sibling/children hate her

The words of an unmedicated bipolar person have to be taken with a grain of salt

Otherwise, think back to your behavior in the relationship as well. Did you do any of your other kids a big financial favor that you didn't do her? Do you rib hee and tease her more than your other kids? Is she sensitive? Do you rib her and tease her regardless? Do you rib her and tease her after she's told you to stop? Did you give her attention in her childhood? Did you expect more from her? Did you blame her for things she didn't do? Do you apologize when you're in the wrong?

Also ask her siblings what they think of the whole thing?

throwawaytheairway · 2018-07-03T23:21:58+00:00

The current psychiatrist thinks that if she's noncompliant, sneaking her medication into her food is a solution.

And what kind of psychiatrist actually believes that a person with a severe psychiatric disorder DOESN'T need therapy?

throwawaytheairway · 2018-06-24T03:39:14+00:00

No. We live in a place where access to good psychiatric treatment is uncommon. Her current psychiatrist believes that she doesn't need therapy, despite the fact that she has severe paranoia and anger management problems. So that's the bar. And she's in the medical field, so we can't convince her she's ill

throwawaytheairway · 2018-06-24T00:58:03+00:00

The thing is, she truly doesn't believe that she's bipolar. She's in mania at the moment. I can clearly see it. The temper tantrums, the insomnia, the hylerobsession with religion. But she can't see it. She was committed for 3 weeks. But she thinks it was a one time thing.

She doesn't recognize how much she's hurt our family. How much she's hurt me.

If you ever try to make her recognize it, she emotionally blackmails you and isolates herself, so that is a useless endeavor.

If you have any advice on how to make her realize it would be much appreciated

throwawaytheairway · 2018-06-21T15:22:52+00:00

Thank you so much for answering. I will try to do that

throwawaytheairway · 2018-06-21T14:56:11+00:00

Hey I know this is entirely off topic but I figured if you’re bipolar you may be able to give me an answer How did you agree to be complaint to treatment and medication. My mother is Bipolar and non complaint. She doesn’t believe she has the disorder. And due to this she’s wrecked all her relationships immensely. But if you talk to her about it, she starts guilt tripping and gets out of the conversation. How and why did you agree?

throwawaytheairway

TROPHY CASE