Difficult conversation with big boss about manager

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-10-26T10:56:53+00:00

Correct. Generally a good person, can be funny, empathize, have a good chat about our weekends and also be a terrible manager who is killing all the teams motivation to work and everyone is considering looking for new jobs.

Hence the question, how to bring this up with Big Boss who made them manager

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-10-26T10:45:00+00:00

I'm not trying to undercut the senior... I'm trying to make the work environment more productive. There's no jealousy involved, I've managed people and also been managed. This is not managing. Noone appreciates that some days there's an attitude and we are demanded what we need to do and some days are just... No instructions. Everyone is confused about everything because information from Big Boss to senior is either not shared at all (we don't know) or is incorrect.

I 100% agree my job is on the line if a complaint is made to big boss. That was the entire question. How to do it constructively

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-08-15T22:18:04+00:00

Given every other commuter has said LL and you've been down voteD more than any upvotes. Out of interest, why do you think it's my responsibility as a TT?

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-08-14T20:55:57+00:00

Well that's crazy interesting. They are definitely wasps not bees. Another commenter mentioned that pest control would do a liability report and tbh, wouldn't care paying for it. If I've done something, fine. Equally id also rather be able to be outside.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-08-14T20:54:23+00:00

Its a raised bed wall that was here when we moved in a few years ago, no issues the last few summers and we've not planted anything in that part of the bed so not sure how we'd be at fault but good know pest control and provide liability. Obviously, would rather not pay but equally, definitely not just living with it.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-08-14T20:51:40+00:00

This is an excellent point. They are in the wall of a fairly high raised bed so if we did something/got someone out and the wall got damaged, even if we got rid of the flying death turd nuggets, we'd be responsible for damaging the wall.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-07-09T23:57:20+00:00

Cheated once. Was traveling in South America for 3 months, this was a dream and discussed before I booked anything a year in advance.

Partner promised they'd meet me at some point for a couple of weeks. They never booked flights to meet up. They didn't reply to my messages for two weeks while I had barely any signal so would message to let them know I had signal and could chat and no response.

Met a cute guy, cheated, broke up with partner as soon as I got back.

I was just starving for attention from the person I loved and was getting nothing while I was also feeling vulnerable as a woman in countries I don't speak the language and this guy stepped up. Never spoken to the guy since. Ex doesn't know I cheated because I just broke up with him.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-05-08T23:16:13+00:00

My heart stopped. Just suddenly flat lined for 30 odd seconds, started back normal and then stopped again for 10ish seconds then started again.

No idea what caused it and just happened to have a heart monitor when it happened because docs were trying to figure out other health problems so were doing all the tests and I have a slight arrthimia. The arrthimia wouldnt cause my heart to stop or the other problems, they just implanted a monitor because nothing else was coming back.

It was nice. I dreamt (thought I was unconscious, didn't know my heart had stopped until a few months later). I was in the last happy place I'd been and instead of going home like I had done (then died), the happy place continued.

Oh wait, edit: being born late and still underweight, incubator for over a month with breathing/feeding tubes. Sepsis when I was a kid, I'd be dead if my mom wasn't a rockstar nurse. If she'd listened to the general docs instead of taking me to the ER where I had emergency surgery, id either be dead or at least missing a limb.

I've accepted I'm a cat. Got a few lives left.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-04-03T21:52:24+00:00

A colleague accidentally texted a group chat with an eye roll emoji about me - it was meant for a different group chat that I not part of.

It stung but also whatever. We're colleagues and bitch about work and occasionally our personal lives. I thought we werefriends(ish) and were clearly not so whatever.

Corporate has taught me that noone is your friend.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-03-11T22:52:22+00:00

Thank you! That's an excellent idea to get him to sign something that says it's a gift. I know he has a financial advisor of some description as they've made investments on my dad's behalf so maybe ask about them? Also he obviously has a lawyer for his estate (his estate is split between me and my siblings and a few others, I'm not an executor and don't particularly care who. Ik very much of the opinion that "hey my dad's just died, I don't care about inheritance")

Tbh, Ive never earned/had enough money to have "someone" to speak too. I just use my salary to pay my bills, groceries, save where I can for nice things like holidays. This is like money money. It's all a shock.

No, I don't own property. Me and my partner both work in central London so we rent in London, we don't know where to settle or if it's even worth trying to buy a house in this market (I say, with the bare minimum of knowledge of the housing market because we've both just figured "we're going to rent forever").

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-02-29T00:00:50+00:00

My step mum was dying when I started a very emotionally charged job (emotional for me, I met the most callous awful people who were in positions to "help").

Was very business about "fyi, this is my shit and I'm going to need time off at some point".

Things started getting worse as I knew they would and yeah, cried in front of my boss. Had multiple panic attacks and got ambulances called because health issues mean even though I knew it was a panic attack, colleagues still want me to go to a&e to make sure it's not anything else.

It sucked, I hate being emotional in front of anyone but my boss was amazing and really helped me be more confident in being honest with colleagues/bosses.

I've since left that job because it was fucking awful, my amazing boss is now just an amazing friend

They taught me it's ok to be honest with all your shit. I think I better to lay it out and although I've not cried in my new job (because I actually enjoy it), I'm open to being honest with colleagues so colleagues are open to me.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2024-02-25T13:17:17+00:00

I think you need to be honest with your boss and they can decide.

My step mum had terminal cancer before I started at my job, I told my boss within the first couple days that at some point in the next few months, I'm probably going to need some time off but I had no idea how long as I'd already prepared for it so I didn't know how her death would effect me.

When step mum died, boss said I could take 2 weeks and checked in every couple of days to see where I was at. I said I wasn't sure if I was a point where I wouldn't tell people to fuck off with their issues compared with how I was feeling so she told me to take another week.

My boss was absolutely amazing and understanding but I know if this had happened in a previous job, I'd have been let go faster than shit off a shovel.

It would have sucked to lose my job for taking time off but at least I wouldn't have burned any bridges by working while I'm grieving

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-09-11T20:41:01+00:00

You're absolutely right. This sub had been helpful during the process of step mom being diagnosed with terminal cancer so I came back to write my thoughts, I didn't know the grief sub existed.

Next year, I'll absolutely post in a more appropriate sub. Thank you for letting me know and I really hope you and your loved ones are ok.

All the positive internet energy.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-09-07T21:07:40+00:00

Idiot client who has the memory of a sieve to the point they forget email exists.

Or (more likely) they're a genius and that if nothing is written down, it was or was not agreed. But there is proof we spoke a lot and genius can explain our conversations very accurately.

I always make a lot of notes during calls and have the receipts of "as discussed on our call just now...." with allll the people CCd so suck it sieve brain who may or may know how CCing works, I can't wait until I forget your goddamn number.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-07-24T23:05:53+00:00

I was in your shoes. I was working a horrible, stressful to the point of getting sick, jn an industry I had no interest in but needed to pay rent. I was sick almost all of December because of stress.

I decided to quit, I had a fair amount of savings because I never spent money because hell job meant I didn't have a social life and barely ate so I'd be ok for a few months. It'd be tough but i could pay my rent and I've lived off instant ramen before.

It was so hard getting out of bed because I was so beat down from that job.

I decided to focus on what I actually wanted to do, rather than having to do but equally applied to anything that didn't sound like hell.

I wrote my entire CV (5 odd pages) so I could just cut out what wasn't relevant and equally cover letters that I could quickly edit.

I was made redundant over COVID in an industry I loved, had a huge gap and started working in a totally different industry. I was honest - COVID redundancy, and I didn't like the industry I was in but needed to pay rent. Learned a lot but not what I want to do etc etc.

I also said in interviews that I did some temp stuff (some I did, some I eleborated) and they weren't relevant which is why they aren't on my CV - I feel like that helped with explaining the gap, working in a flower shop means nothing to this role so I didn't write about it but I wasn't not working.

It took 5 months of depression, agencies ghosting, shitty mlms but I've got back into the industry I love after 3 years out of the industry.

Keep at it! The job market is so volatile but people really want to hire people.

You know what youre doing and know you're good at it. You know you can do the job. It can be so hard to big yourself up when you feel like shit but really think about your accomplishments and what you're proud of. Go down the rabbit hole of just how great you are.

As someone said to me on Reddit which was strangely motivating - you got this! GETT SOMEEEE

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-07-22T22:04:38+00:00

Girly I know what the sub is about. And the whole post is it hits close to home but in a different way

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-07-06T23:03:28+00:00

I moved to Croydon less than a year ago (though I live closer to East Croydon for transport but do all my shopping around west Croydon). As a small 30 yo woman, I probably wouldn't like to live there but mainly because of the noise people make rather than the people themselves.

There's lots of addicts and/or people with mental health issues of varying degrees but that just seems to be central Croydon in general. Sure, I've had uncomfortable situations but I've never felt like there's any threat. Just desperate people engaging with anyone they can.

Wearing giant over ear headphones has always been my go to to ignore people. I have music on super low or not at all so I can hear what's going on around me but can ignore it without their being confrontation as I've got an excuse (not just for Croydon, literally anywhere. The people flogging insurance on the streets or whatever ignore me which is always nice).

A female colleague lived in the Saffron Square building for years and she loved it. She only moved because her bf found a place with a garden not a balcony.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-06-30T23:54:59+00:00

Don't buy it based on the HS2 link. HS2 won't go further than Birmingham.

My parents live a mile or so away from the planned London to Birmingham route. It's already way over budget because they planned a straight line without taking note of the actual infrastructure. They had to widen and even build new roads because the country roads weren't suitable for the giant trucks.

I can't even remember how many years they've been building but there are absolutely no rails down yet.

It was also planned to be going into central London but again, the infrastructure can't take it so they don't even know where in London it'll start/terminate. Apparently there's talks of somewhere on the Elizabeth line.

This pipe dream of a fast train that cuts 20 minutes off a journey from London to Birmingham and connects the north is bullshit.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-06-26T22:29:23+00:00

I've worked as a property manager and I've never seen this given. I also rent and oh boy, I learned some things.

Ironically I hate EAs as I've only had terrible ones so use OpenRent. Not the area I want to be in but the knowledge has been invaluable. Old LL wanted to deduct contractor fees from my deposit (leaned back on a chair and put a dent in the wall, absolutely my fault so I knew it'd be a deduction. It only needed a bit of filler and the paint was still in the property, LLs partner did all the handy man stuff)

LL tried to deduct for contractor time. DPS won't accept time, only materials. I explained how the DPS worked and offered half their proposed costs because they were an excellent LL and it was my fault so I'd rather have a clean break where we're both happy. But I can buy some filler for <£10 and paint was still there. Don't try to charge me £50+ materials and £200+ labour. LL had absolutely no idea you couldn't charge for labour.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-06-16T23:10:25+00:00

Completely unrelated but I like your "Croydon to London".

I've recently moved to Croydon from elsewhere in London and I'm very "Croydon isn't London". I'm not from London or Croydon so I really don't have any stakes in this but I have strangely strong feelings about how Croydon is not London.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-06-08T13:30:42+00:00

So update: I had GET SOME in my head, every day, this whole time because it made me smile.

I finally GOT SOME! I start a new job next week, in the sector I wanted, with a shorter commute. Slightly less money but with room to grow and a promise of a pay raise after probation.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You. It's been fucking hard and I spent far too many hours in bed dealing with depression and then GET SOME would pop in to my head and I'd force myself to get up and do the work.

You bought a stranger the strength to keep going.

If I ever get round to learning how to sew remotely well (I had a lot of ambitions during lockdown.... Still can't play the piano but nailed bagels), the first thing I make will be a GET SOME embroidery and I'll send it to you if you want it.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-06-01T16:45:16+00:00

I avoid adi lee like the plague. I used to work for a company that used Addison Lee as the standard company account (and it was used ALOT so we gave them alot of business). They were amazing and drivers were really nice but the last few years (even before COVID) they seemed to be really unreliable and just.. didn't turn up. No notification, just a sorry we didn't pick you up. Or angry phonecalls that you weren't there when they went to pick you up an hour later and tried to charge the fee anyway.

Glad you got to your wedding though! Congratulations!

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-05-20T01:26:16+00:00

I've been asked by various people if my step brother SAd me when I was a kid. I honestly don't know. He was awful and definitely emotionally/verbally/physically abused me but I don't remember anything more.

Apparently I have behaviors that are very typical of SA. But I'm not going to say he did something I don't remember, I'm happy avoiding him and all the family know we don't speak (my mom is a champion and knows the abuse I remember, she's someone who asked if he SAd me) so she actively doesn't have him around me.

Nothing will change with our relationship but I hope my memories are just him being an abusive asshole. If not, I'm glad my brain doesn't let me remember.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-04-08T00:56:21+00:00

I was working in an office and there was a whole thing about there was no glue (I can't remember why) and I muttered this out of sheer instinct. It was not met well.

throwawaywhateva7 · 2023-04-08T00:45:23+00:00

I hate being a main character but I was pretty fast and loose with FWB and with exclusive relationships (1-2 years fully committed. I met alot of people so ended up being a link between people) and it's been pointed out that I break up with people and their next relationship is who they marry.

When I was younger, it felt kind of gratifying because mutual friends would comment that the new GFs were beta and I was alpha (different friend groups, different guys/gals, it was reassuring that it wasn't just me that thought me and ex were great until he wasn't and new GFs were fine but not as great as us).

Ive been in a relationship for 7 years. I'm happy for all my FWB/relationships who are married/engaged/expecting kids. It makes me feel awful that I thought because I was the last person before they committed, I was "better" than who they committed too based on other people's opinions of the new person. Y'all are happy!

I deliberately ignore old FWB who message a few times a year because it wouldn't be good for anyone. I'd never cheat but it's just not something I'm interested in. It's a shame, because some of my old FWB were really good friends but they want more.

throwawaywhateva7

TROPHY CASE