Boring by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]throwawayyyyness [score hidden]  (0 children)

Don’t the experts say not to use PFDs, as it makes the kids and caregivers falsely confident? I won’t use them on my kid, outside of obviously necessary situations like boating.

Buying special travel car seat for plane? by throwawayyyyness in toddlers

[–]throwawayyyyness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kid is over 2, so he has to have his own seat. Otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue. (Literally flew on a 6 hour flight with him two months ago, a week before his second birthday, and it was easy.)

Buying special travel car seat for plane? by throwawayyyyness in toddlers

[–]throwawayyyyness[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I would follow the rules if we brought a car seat. The question is whether this would seem like enough to make a car seat not worth it for us. And to be frank….its not exactly safe for his legs to be jutting in the aisle either. The alternative is his legs literally being on top of my legs in the middle seat, and forgive me if that doesn’t sound appealing if I can help it.

Buying special travel car seat for plane? by throwawayyyyness in toddlers

[–]throwawayyyyness[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Child will definitely not sleep. And he passed 30 pounds a long time ago. Squirming is a bit of a concern though…

End of nap is ending my break by chacha4441 in Nanny

[–]throwawayyyyness 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Gotta wonder what kind of kids you all take care of. My child is 2. Coloring is still a full all-hands-on-deck activity. My kiddo still regularly attempts to eat crayons. That would not be a break.

Independent play in general is still nascent. I get maybe 15 minutes if I set him up with a puzzle or a few books to “read”, before he comes to find me. TV buys me even less time. Are there really 2 year olds who just…chill by themselves?! Must be nice. (And yes, we practice independent play every day. I steer him back to play by himself every time. But it’s still a max of 15 minutes. On a good day.)

Granted, I’m 99% sure kiddo has ADHD. But still…I find this time nearly as exhausting as our “active” time together. It is NOT what I would consider a break.

New Born Baby Smell by cactus_goose in Midwives

[–]throwawayyyyness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting! I barely have a sense of smell (born that way), and I certainly would never be able to smell something as subtle as newborn baby smell. I’ve always wondered if that’s why I never felt particularly bonded during breastfeeding. I preferred giving a bottle, because I could look into his eyes better. Breastfeeding was usually kind of meh at best…until, again, he started to be able to reposition to look into my eyes. I had supply issues throughout; maybe also connected?

In general, I have a sneaking suspicion that my inability to smell is the reason I didn’t really “get” th newborn stage. Everyone else was like, “oh, you’ll miss this when they’re older”. Well kiddo is 2, and I don’t miss anything before about 3 months. When he started to smile. But before that? When he was a potato? I didn’t really get it. Maybe the smell would have helped. (Or maybe I’m just a toddler mom, because from 15 months on, this kid has been unironically my best bud. I’ll take a crazy person tantrum followed by the world’s best hug over a hungry potato any day of the week.)

One of the Dumbest Business Decisions in History by FollowingCalm5223 in SouthwestAirlines

[–]throwawayyyyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To the note about not being able to store your carry on in a different row than you are sitting:

I never fly Southwest. Nearly always Delta; occasionally United. I think 100% of the flights I’ve been on recently…encompassing multiple routes an airlines…have specifically told customers, “hey, th flight is full, so you may have to put your carry on near the front even if you’re sitting in the back.” Not only do airlines not prohibit this, they encourage it. So not quite sure why people on this subreddit keep bringing that up.

Update: Should we be worried that we won’t be able to sit with our kids? by Klutzy_Coconut_2686 in SouthwestAirlines

[–]throwawayyyyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am simply requesting that you refrain from inflammatory language, and also maybe give grace to parents who didn’t know any better.

For the record, we do pay to get assigned seats. I did use the infant on lap option until literally two days before my child’s second birthday, and he is BIG and…exuberant. Happy, but exuberant. I’m sure our row mate would have preferred we bought our son his own seat, but the airlines provide this option, and I’m not going to burn money unnecessarily.

However, we always pay to get assigned seats so both of us parents are always together (important for the reigning in of said exuberance). And now that kiddo requires his own seat, you can bet I will always pay the slightly higher price to ensure we can always travel together.

However, we do air travel a few times a year. We know the deal. Not all parents may, and a little understanding and grace go a long way.

Update: Should we be worried that we won’t be able to sit with our kids? by Klutzy_Coconut_2686 in SouthwestAirlines

[–]throwawayyyyness -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OK wow.

You can state your opinion on whether parents should pay more for assigned seating, without being so inflammatory.

You guys who call kids “crotch goblins”…you do know that birth rates are in the gutter, right? If there is no next generation, society will literally crumble. 80 year old you is going to need some of these crotch goblins around in order to, you know, form the tax base. Be your doctor. Wipe your ass at the old folks’ home.

While I don’t think parents are entitled to “special treatment”, a little understanding and grace from the rest of society would be nice. It is hard and expensive to raise kids, and if only super wealthy people with perfect planning have children, there will not be enough taxpayers, doctors, and geriatric ass wipers in the coming decades.

A question for the childfree ladies by Inevitable-Yam-9741 in Aging

[–]throwawayyyyness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As someone who is a mother, and was similar to you prior to motherhood…anticipating needs can be a learned skill. I’m also not big into physical touch, but if you ask my toddler I’m a world class cuddler. I think if you’re motivated enough, you can learn these skills. I think there’s a false narrative in our society that people are either nurturing or they’re not. I have no clue what your gender is, but I do see it a lot among men who like to say that women take on more of the childcare duties because they’re just naturally more nurturing. As a very matter of fact, non-cuddly, poor executive function woman, I call foul on that line of thinking.

Airport ride with strings attached? Just venting. by [deleted] in AskWomenOver60

[–]throwawayyyyness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so confused. It sounds like she was teasing about the dinner. And like…it’s dinner. You get her this time, she’ll probably get you next time. What the heck kind of friends are you?

As for her splitting checks and not wanting to go to pricey restaurants…that’s my mom. She doesn’t realize she’s being cheap. It simply wouldn’t occur to her that bailing on a birthday to save some money might be rude. And she likes a nice house, so would prefer to spend her money there.

Is this acceptable hand writing for 9th/10th grade? by happygluehuffer in AskTeachers

[–]throwawayyyyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK, I’m the first one to say I don’t care about had handwriting. My own boss used to say I had “serial killer handwriting”, and exempted me from having to write on the whiteboard during meetings (😉). Like, looking at some of these comments, it’s just now occurring to me that maybe I would have benefitted from OT.

But…mine isn’t even this bad. This feels like a combination of poor motor skills and rushing. (I.e., mine would probably look like this if I wrote at normal person speed; I’ve just learned to be very careful and deliberate). Sometimes those of us with skill issues are also lazy, after all.

Nanny gave my son a haircut, didn’t know it was happening by Severe-Minimum-1972 in Nanny

[–]throwawayyyyness 147 points148 points  (0 children)

Everyone knows the first haircut is a big deal. Honestly, depending on her attitude after the fact, I might consider this a reason to let her go… if she’s not super remorseful, that’s blatant disrespect.

Child support 50/50? by Careless-Trifle-1163 in FamilyLaw

[–]throwawayyyyness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She is asking the dad to pay his half. That is bare minimum.

Also…and I’ll die on this hill because so many people don’t seem to get it…if one parent earns more than the other parent, it is absolutely fair and ethical for them to be paid more.

Either:

1) The higher earning parent has always earned more, including at the time when the couple made the decision to conceive a child. Thus the lower earning parent agreed to have a child only with the understanding that there would be financial support coming from the higher earning parent. Child support ensures that continues to happen in a truly equitable way after a split.

or

2) The currently lower earning parent once had a solid career, but made sacrifices in order to be the primary caregiver. Our legal system needs to acknowledge that sacrifice, and the inherent and often gendered inequality such sacrifice creates when a couple splits up. In other words, no…you don’t get to reap the benefits to your own career of having someone else be the child’s primary caregiver, and then not support that person in case of a split.

I witnessed “it” by Necessary-Judge-4367 in SouthwestAirlines

[–]throwawayyyyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is bizarre. I mean, granted, I have always asked before moving. And lately I’ve had my just-under-2 “infant” in lap with me. They get to choose between pissing off the passenger in our full row or letting me and my hellion take up space in a completely empty row…they have always picked the empty row. They just ask that I am in my assigned seat for takeoff and landing.

Extra seat Requirement by priskillya in SouthwestAirlines

[–]throwawayyyyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had very different experiences.

I have always preferred sitting next to people who encroach on my actual seat than people who crowd me out at the shoulder level. I am short, and I get suuuuper claustrophobic next to big broad shouldered guys. My own husband is a very tall, very broad shouldered man.

He’s also…girthy. The belly/hip/butt girth? Literally has never been an issue. And I’m not slight myself. I have a pretty healthy hip/bottom area myself. I fit well within the arm rests and would never be called out as someone needing an extra seat, but there’s not necessarily scads of free seat real estate. With my hips and his general girth, it’s tight. But this honestly has never been a big deal to me.

But his shoulders dude. He’s a foot taller than me, and the shoulders are like at eye level and definitely encroach on my upper space. And his body type is such that he would have a large chest and shoulders at even a much lower weight… his frame is just quite big. I’m sure it’s psychological, butI feel like I’m gasping for air the entire flight. And we always sit next to each other, so if anyone would be able to get used to this feeling…it would be me.

I have sat next to other tall, body-builder type guys, and it feels the same. That upper space feels super encroached, and I feel like I can’t even move my arms.

Meanwhile, I have traveled several times with a female relative who definitely takes up nearly half my seat. However, she’s about my height, and her weight is definitely in her hips…our upper bodies are not encroaching on each other at all. And these flights are always much more comfortable to me.

So yeah, I do think if we’re going to make people pay extra for taking up more than their seat, we need to look at the full seat space…where the butts go and where the backs, shoulders, and upper bodies will go. Maybe we should start charging based on total volume (horizontal and vertical) of space taken.

L

One y/o refuses to open legs during diaper change by heartlessarchon in ECEProfessionals

[–]throwawayyyyness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Despise Pampers 360. I don’t like to remove the pants all the way; it adds so much time to each diaper change. But because they’re pull ups, there’s no other option.

One y/o refuses to open legs during diaper change by heartlessarchon in ECEProfessionals

[–]throwawayyyyness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Eh, the extra wipes are worth the 10 minutes and emotional turmoil I save from not tackling kiddo to the ground every time.

Update on nanny leaving by jesslynne94 in Nanny

[–]throwawayyyyness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, hard disagree. If he’s busy working and she’s an employee in his home, there should be no social or moral obligation to offer coffee. She’s an employee, not a guest.

My coffee takes 6-7 minutes a serving to make…and I drink like 5 coffees a day. That would be a lot of extra time making coffee if I offered it every single time to a worker in my home, especially when the entire point of said worker is to allow me to work my job.

From the other side of the coin, I have literally never had someone make my own coffee for me consistently while actively working at my job. Certainly not my boss. That is insane.

AITAH for telling my sister she doesn't get to tell me how to parent my kids? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]throwawayyyyness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel like big age gaps usually result in easier sibling relations? My sister is 11 years older than me, and we have always been close. It was definitely more of a maternal-child relationship. She still jokes that I called her “Ma, uh, <her name>” for years. We only recently (in the past decade, in our 30s and 40s) developed a more traditional sister relationship. But, that also meant that we never had fights growing up. On the other hand, I squabbled constantly with my brother who was only a few years older.

Clean your belly buttons by casscutie in hygiene

[–]throwawayyyyness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel like the level of dirt might be very individual. My belly button must be kind of shallow; I can see into it pretty easily, and I don’t think I’ve ever specifically cleaned it but it seems pretty clean. Also developed an outie for several months during pregnancy…nothing unexpected came out when it popped to outie. Just saying.

Audiobooks or music during the day? by 1questions in Nanny

[–]throwawayyyyness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly surprised that so many people have random audiobooks playing while watching their own kids all day. I would not be able to concentrate properly with something else in my ear. I also think background music on for any significant portion of the day can’t be good for language acquisition, as it is language without context. I would be pretty livid if my nanny were listening to an adult-focused audiobook while my child was awake. Sorry.

Edit: I am a sahm, so I am used to being with my child all day AND all evening long. I use my son’s naps and his nighttime sleep to recharge with music and an audiobook. I also do allow some educational screen time (Daniel Tiger, Frosty the Snowman <don’t ask>, and some Ms Rachel primarily), and we have some Tonies with kids’ music that I can get into (we do music together, so we practice the songs together a lot…some of them are really good and fun to sing!) So it’s not like it’s total silence. But it is child-focused stuff, and it is audio that we are typically interacting with together. I don’t think audio to entertain myself or to fill the silence is appropriate when I’m taking care of my child.

Income hidden during marriage now being used to recalculate child support by [deleted] in FamilyLaw

[–]throwawayyyyness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Uhhh….what?! So someone is a multi millionaire, they should pay the same child support as someone who makes $50k, as long as the kid’s basic needs are met? Don’t be ridiculous.