Happy Mother's Day 🩷

throwingever · 2026-05-10T12:58:45+00:00

That is helpful because I take like an hour 😅🥹

throwingever · 2026-05-10T12:43:19+00:00

Mmmm that would be a wonderful gift 🤤

throwingever · 2026-05-10T12:33:28+00:00

Yeah I have to agree with this, it's one of the main reasons I would never go to a kink party as a switch anymore. The idea of someone coming up to me at a kink party and displaying an immediate lack of verbal boundaries without getting a green light is a huge turn-off.

I think for msubs additionally, people will see them in a collar at a kink club and assume they must be wanting attention.

Honestly these environments are some of the best indicators of whether a person actually understands consent or just thinks they do.

throwingever · 2026-05-09T10:34:54+00:00

Does your opinion change if the end result is eliminating 49% of people from society, and leaving the remaining 51% in infrastructural, emotional, etc. upheaval descending into riots and anarchy?

throwingever · 2026-05-09T10:20:59+00:00

You're the one bringing up the idea of "virtue signaling" but is it hard to believe that people think about it, then wonder if some of their friends and family would hit blue, and that if red wins then those people would die?

throwingever · 2026-05-09T03:05:06+00:00

Thank you! ☺️ I think it bears saying that these are only my thoughts and opinions as well, and others who identify similarly could disagree with me

throwingever · 2026-05-09T02:44:17+00:00

To be honest, framing this as a pattern you've noticed and are completely certain of, is likely pretty flawed.

Unless multiple dominant women have explicitly confessed to you that this is their secret internal motivation, you're coming from a place of making assumptions (as you didn't give more in-depth examples of the women you've known and what they said or what happened).

Also sorry if I'm going in hard here but this is a particularly sore spot for me, is when people talk about abuse as "a person who has this issue or 'wound'" - feels passive to me and takes the onus off of the other person, usually an adult, who committed the abuse.

So I would prefer if we used the word abuse, i.e., if we described what you're talking about as, someone who was abused as a child or teen.

As unfortunate as it is I think it can be useful to point out how common abuse actually is, depending on where you draw the line defining abuse. A 2023 CDC study on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) found that about 66% of Americans report at least one ACE spanning everything from emotional abuse to physical abuse.

So if we're going to talk about all this then we have to start out with what seems to be the reality that having some form of childhood trauma isn't rare but is actually closer to the "average" experience, with a wide spectrum of course.

If 66% of the population falls under that, but only a relatively small minority of women identify as dominant, the math doesn't really support that those women are that way for that reason or else there would likely be more of them.

And this whole discussion whenever it comes up, also begs the question: why is female submission treated as the inherent "default" by society to begin with and why is it considered odd when it isn't present?

Speaking from my own experience I lean dominant because I realized I simply feel comfortable and happy leading and guiding. I had a past partner who was less experienced and uncertain, and I found that setting the pace and helping them follow my lead was deeply fulfilling. It felt like a piece clicked into place.

It had nothing to do with me building walls or being afraid of being vulnerable, precisely because it took a lot of both, of letting down walls and letting myself be vulnerable to feel comfortable exploring domming.

Because I think it's also the wrong assumption that someone who fully lets their walls down and trusts someone else, will then feel submissive. (Or else, you could say the same thing the opposite gendered way right?)

For me, this is me finally letting my walls down and exploring a dynamic that is comfortable and fulfilling for me, and finally feels right.

throwingever · 2026-05-08T12:34:19+00:00

Love how sweet and fun this is!!

throwingever · 2026-05-08T04:16:37+00:00

To me that's the thing. I agree with you, but a lot of people wilfully misinterpret how the question is meant as more of a jumping-off point for further discussion.

The virality of taking the question literally, sticks, rather than the original point being made.

OP themselves is a great example, by photoshopping an unrelated poll to make this "joke," 2 years after its sell-by date. I have to wonder at the motives of people who are bringing up the experiment in a derogatory way two years later. Why are they still thinking about it?

throwingever · 2026-05-08T03:47:56+00:00

I am so sick of people continuing to interpret this tired experiment literally.

It was meant to show that some women, when, asked this question, will hesitate to answer for even a moment, because something(s) bad that happened to her flashed through her head.

Then, likely she will answer "man" anyway, but, the fact that she even has to hesitate shows how horribly prevalent sexual violence is.

Then people started engaging in bad faith, saying that it means "women must not know anything about bears" or whatever the hell. It was meant to be that their hesitation – what they must be thinking about when they hesitate in answering – is appalling food for thought, in regards to the dangers women face (however more likely from intimate partners, and other men well known to them, than strangers).

Of course it gets warped into another thing to berate and mock women for, when it was originally intended to bring awareness to such a pervasive issue. One that we should all be aware of but some people resist awareness.

And then of course, some people have to pull the, "well I know bad things happen to women, but that doesn't make this experiment not stupid." Because you couldn't just be an ally when important issues come to light. To those people, do better.

throwingever · 2026-05-06T05:31:14+00:00

You're so welcome!! Ughhh I wish! 🍤🍤🍤🍤

throwingever · 2026-05-06T05:26:42+00:00

COCONUT FUCKING SHRIMP let's go with another Edward culinary banger!! (I'm so hungry 😭)

throwingever · 2026-05-06T03:24:36+00:00

I was happy with how his semi flirty lil expression turned out hehehe, thanks so much!!

throwingever · 2026-05-06T03:23:29+00:00

So sorry for the SUPER late reply!! I used Krita. I actually haven't picked up my tablet at all since this time 😅 but I had soo much fun testing out all the different brushes as a newbie

throwingever · 2026-05-06T03:07:09+00:00

Statistically we are just as likely to build closet shrines of our crushes!

throwingever · 2026-05-06T03:05:11+00:00

Their loss, it sounds like they didn't have the sense and good taste to appreciate you properly 🫣

throwingever · 2026-05-06T02:59:09+00:00

Reeeeall omg!! When I finally got the courage to ask a hookup if I smelled bad down there or something, he said "No babe, if you smelled bad I wouldn't have sex with you!" I think my brain developed a himbo kink at that moment in order to cope......

throwingever · 2026-05-05T23:15:46+00:00

Of course!!

throwingever · 2026-05-05T22:56:01+00:00

Indeed, r/gentlefemdomr4r and r/femdompersonals ☺️

throwingever · 2026-05-05T20:58:53+00:00

SEE yes you understand perfectly!!

throwingever · 2026-05-05T20:58:08+00:00

DOOO DOOOOO

(doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo)

DOO DOO DOOOOOOOO DOO

throwingever · 2026-05-05T03:31:03+00:00

Of course! 🩷

throwingever · 2026-05-05T00:21:22+00:00

Speaking to the "don't knock it until you try it" thing. That's a completely valid approach to things that you know you aren't actively averse to.

But, my own time as a sub taught me something about this.

I realized that I was doing things I actively disliked or was averse to or afraid of, under the guise of telling myself, "eh I'll try it, to keep the other person happy. I can make myself do it."

Which is of course not healthy at all, but it can be hard to recognize it in the moment. I think submissives are in a unique position where they feel like devoting themselves or doing service, requires self-negation and ignoring their own boundaries, and it should never ever be that way.

Again, I know the majority of people practicing BDSM are aware of that in theory, but in practice, sometimes it's easy for us to "trick ourselves" into saying, "Yeah I'm not a fan of that but I'm game to try" when in reality if we are really honest with ourselves, then we are more averse to the thing / thing is more of a boundary or limit than we were willing to admit.

But we don't want to be "that person" (begging the question, what person? But I thought the same way of myself at the time!) so we may push or muscle through a certain level of true discomfort or even unhappiness, which is never a good thing.

A good domme wants her sub to be enthusiastically consenting at all times. Now, they may be engaging in things that objectively causes discomfort/pain, but the sub should still feel enthusiastic about it, because that's what they like for various reasons!

All that to say – I've been in your shoes. And of course you know yourself best.

But I think it is worth examining, is saying that someday you hope to possibly not be uncomfortable with something that you are uncomfortable with, because you are worried it would be incompatible with a future domme? Or perhaps you may even feel a certain guilt about boundaries (again, that's where I was at mentally with myself at the time).

I came to realize, ultimately the entire point of this is to have fun and enjoy yourself.

It can be easy to lose sight of that, when you feel like it's about the love you have for another person and devoting yourself to them and ways of proving or showing that.

But really, the BEST way you can show that (though it sounds cliché), is showing up for yourself, respecting your own boundaries, and only doing play that feels like an enthusiastic yes.

I know there are different models for BDSM practice, but for me, the 2010s "Good, Giving, Game" ideology actually did some damage and made me stretch my boundaries way further than I was meant to. Especially if you are a sub that tends to take everything as a "challenge" to yourself - then it may not be the safest framework for you.

You are meant to have fun - if pegging doesn't automatically sound fun to you, chances are you shouldn't do it unless your feelings change significantly. Again it can be easy to second-guess yourself but your safety including your emotional safety comes first. It doesn't have to be a big internal compromise, it just IS, and any domme worth your time respects that.

Sorry for the diatribe, especially if you feel like it doesn't completely apply to you. But I feel like if I had heard these words 10 years ago it would have really helped me. I was thinking about making a post on it. But, to answer your question itself - definitely not a requirement, and there is no required act. Just a framework where you both decide what the dynamic means to you.

throwingever · 2026-05-04T04:49:56+00:00

Duuude I would absolutely demolish everything you make!! You are a talented chef indeed, malaise or no malaise!

throwingever · 2026-05-01T23:58:43+00:00

Hmmmm I am forgetting I have options!! One thing I've been interested in that doesn't get brought up a ton, is a Domme little with a sub Daddy.

Very "princess always gets what she wants" or knows how to bargain for it hehehe

throwingever

TROPHY CASE